Well, dear readers, the vote is unanimous – I shall continue to write these here notes on the weekend, despite the stats showing me that there’s almost no one reading them. We shall build, we shall grow, we shall have weekend readers, by gum. I haven’t bought gum in some time – perhaps a box of Chiclets is in order. I have always liked Chiclets because it’s like chewing teeth. I think I need therapy, dear readers, don’t you?
I read that my close personal friend, Mr. Stephen Sondheim, has filed a lawsuit against the rich and powerful Mr. Scott Rudin, who is trying to interfere with Mr. Sondheim and Mr. Weidman’s reworked version of Wise Guys, now called Gold. Well, this is heinous (heinous, do you hear me?). The thought that the rich can do such things is nauseating. The rich think they own the world, don’t they? They think they are above the law and can twist the judicial system, just because they have money, don’t they? These rich think they can use people and then spit them out like so much fish. Whoa, Nellie, I’m on a tear here, aren’t I? Where did that come from? I don’t even know Scott Rudin, but this type of David and Goliath thing bugs me and I just had to speak out about it. Luckily, Mr. Stephen Sondheim is also rich and will hopefully prevail. It would be a problem to fight the rich if you weren’t rich, I think, but Mr. Sondheim is rich and so it will be a test of wills. Have you ever seen a test of Wills? Very bad. He doesn’t study and he always does very poorly. Isn’t it rich? Isn’t it queer? If anybody has any idea what the hell I’m talking about, they should keep it to themselves, because if I find out what I’m talking about I may just have to commit Harry Carey.
My goodness that was a long paragraph about absolutely nothing whatsoever. Mr. Mark Bakalor hates long paragraphs and he will now bitch slap me once again. I wonder if all I’ve written thus far today would be the “a few thoughts” section of my header. After all, there have been few thoughts since I began spewing forth these words, which then begat sentences, which then begat paragraphs, and all for naught. Or is it nought? Or is it not? Or is it knot? So many variations, so little time. Perhaps we should all simply click on the Unseemly Button below and get on with the survey that I referred to in my header.
Isn’t it interesting that I can have a header and I can take a header – two different headers, two different meanings. Where was I? Oh, yes, the survey referred to in my header (but not header). Well, dear readers, here is what we are thinking. We are thinking of starting up our very own handy-dandy chat room right here at haineshisway.com. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, we are thinking about starting our very own handy-dandy chat room. What do you think of this idea? Will there be enough chatters to justify the expense? Can we spread the word, like butter on toast? Can we get the word out? Is “out” such a hard word to get? Why couldn’t we get the word “out”. Has it suddenly become rare? I want the word “out” and I’m not settling for anything less. In any case, let’s take a poll – should we have our very own chat room where we can have our very own chat? That way, if you’ve read the notes and are here anyway, there might just be someone to chat with. Most importantly, as I conceived and handled another chat room in a galaxy far away, we would have a regular chat once a week, a free-for-all at a regularly scheduled time. And we would have guest chats with some of the lovely artists I’ve worked with. So, take part in the poll by posting your thoughts in the Unseemly Comment Box below.
Don’t forget, the premiere of our brand spanking new handy-dandy The Broadway Radio Show is but a week away. Donald Feltham is putting together a bonanza of show tunes and we have our guests, which, schedule permitting, include Susan Egan, Jason Graae and David Lee (creator of Frasier and director of Do I Hear A Waltz?, which I produced the cast album for). It should be loads of fun, so be sure to give it a listen.
Mr. Mark Bakalor assures me that the Guy Haines photo album should be ready and clickable very soon, perhaps even today. There are some fine photos in there, so check them out.
I am thinking, dear readers, of becoming less oblique. In fact, I am thinking of writing a story called All That Went On. Oh, that would be a fine story, and it would be very detailed because I like to write very detailed stories. Because, frankly, I’m tired of being oblique. I don’t even know what it means, but I’m tired of it nonetheless. Did you notice that in the word “nonetheless” you are actually getting three words for the price of one? That is a total bargain, word-wise. Do you all feel I should be less oblique, whatever that means? Or should I just eat a cheese slice and remain oblique? These are the questions we must ponder out yonder. Yes, we must ponder out yonder, because I feel fonder when I ponder, especially out yonder. Also, the chalice from the palace has the pellet with the poison, but the flagon with the dragon has the brew that is true. Or is it the pellet with the poison is in the vessel with the pestle? Oh, we must ponder out yonder all these imponderable yonderables. Or is it yonderable ponderables? Someone please stop me before I totally run amok.
Well, I feel I have written enough notes for a Monday. Although, according to those damn stats, Monday is our busiest traffic day here at haineshisway.com. But there will be more notes tomorrow, and I don’t want to run out of important things to talk about. We simply mustn’t run out of important things to talk about. Although, if anyone can find an important thing that I’ve talked about in these notes, please point it out to me so I can continue in that vein. I feel it is important to talk about important things, especially in a vein. Which is better, I suppose, than talking about important things in vain. Perhaps I should go back to being oblique.