First, a message from Guy Haines:
When my hordes of eight fans said I should have my own website I thought, what a fine idea. After all, everyone needs their own website. Mark Bakalor came on board to design it and I feel he’s done a fine job. But, then he said I had to contribute. Well, I simply can’t contribute. I’m much too busy with tennis and my full time occupation of having no life.
I have asked my close personal friend, Mr. Bruce Kimmel, if he wouldn’t mind writing a daily journal for the site. He was gracious enough to consent, although he did ask for a year’s supply of Red Vines. I told him he could write about anything he wanted to as long as it wasn’t about me. I want this to be the only performer website where there is absolutely nothing written about the performer. Isn’t that unique?
Mark is managing to come up with some candid photos of me, and even some of my family. In addition to reading Bruce’s daily dose of drivel, soon I’m told, you’ll be able to check out some of the other little nooks and crannies. You never know what you might find.
Sincerely,
Guy Haines
Bruce’s first entry:
Well, hello dear readers, and welcome to Haines His Way, the official website for my friend Guy Haines. Do you know that if you hit the wrong letter when you type Guy Haines you get Buy Haines? Just asking. I am very flattered indeed to have been asked to keep a daily journal here on the Guy Haines website. I used to have weekly notes elsewhere, but those notes disappeared into the ether, hence we now have new notes, or bk’s notes II, the sequel. So, now I shall have daily notes right here at Haineshisway.com. Well, perhaps not daily notes, perhaps every other day notes, or bi-weekly notes, or whatever suits my fancy.
Oh, it is a time of sweeping change, dear readers. For example, I just emptied all the coins out of my pocket and swept them. I love sweeping change and I recommend it to everyone with a preponderance of coins.
As you all are probably aware, there have been many events happening in my life. I’m not quite prepared to talk about them, however. Not quite yet. So, for now, I’d like to review one of my favorite movies, which has a wonderful special edition on DVD. Here is my review of Jaws.
Jaws is an excellent motion picture. It is about sharks. I hate sharks and this film teaches us that they can come from nowhere and bite you in your butt cheeks. Sharks are merciless creatures, eating machines, and you must avoid them at all costs, or so the movie would lead you to believe. Sharks are out for blood. There is really no reason for it, Robert Shaw says, it’s just in their nature. However, we learn by the end of the film that even though sharks attack over and over, you can survive by blowing them up. This is exactly what Richard Dreyfuss and Roy Scheider do in Jaws, which, by the way, is about sharks. Steven Spielberg directed Jaws quite brilliantly – he really gets you to thinking how scary sharks are. Interestingly, the mechanical shark used in the making of the film was named Bruce. Mechanical sharks are not as scary as real sharks. A real shark would never be named Bruce. Perhaps we should have a contest and you readers could submit names you think would be good names for sharks. A must-see film, I rate it four stars (out of four stars). Next time I’ll be reviewing another great film: Alfred Hitchcock’s The Man Who Knew Too Much, which has one of my favorite Hitchcockian scenes in it – the one in the bazaar where the guy gets stabbed in the back. I love that scene.
Why am I reviewing movies, for heaven’s sake? Shouldn’t I be writing about Guy Haines? Oh, that’s right, I can’t. He doesn’t want me to write about him. He bribed me with a year’s worth of Red Vines not to write about him. I accepted of course.
Last Monday, I attended a CD release party for my friend Adryan Russ. I produced a CD for her, Everyone Has a Story, featuring her songs interpreted by some pretty amazing folks, including Tami Tappan, Susan Egan, Jason Graae, Barbara Deutsch, Lisa Richard, David Burnham, Karen Benjamin, Suzanne Blakeslee, Michelle Nicastro, Joan Ryan, Adryan herself, Sharon McKnight, Juliana A. Hansen and yes, Guy Haines. It’s available on the LML label. We had lovely cheese slices and fatty meats and a good time was had by all.
That’s it for now. I shall have to think about what to write for next time. I’ve never really done a daily journal before (or blog) so I must do some research into blogs, because one simply can’t write a blog if one doesn’t know what the hell a blog is. I do know that I will be giving frequent updates as to my whereabouts and my whenabouts. Sometimes I may even talk about my thereabouts or thenabouts. You will get all the latest news right here at Haineshisway.com. Check back often. We love getting your comments and questions, so remember to leave them for me below each and every entry!