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February 26, 2002:

THIS COULD BE THE START OF SOMETHING BIG

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I did indeed find the Hinky Meltz and Ernest Ernest song A Cockroach in a Bowl of Wheaties, and I feel it’s one of their most fun songs. Here it is, for your enjoyment.

A COCKROACH IN A BOWL OF WHEATIES Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest

I’m excited like a cockroach in a bowl of Wheaties,
I am thrilled just like a wombat eating fries.
I’m a lucky so and so, I’ve got two sweeties
And I love ’em cause my sweeties are my sweetie pies

I’m excited like a spider in a bowl of chili,
I am jazzed just like a gerbel eating fudge.
I know you think that two for one is just plain silly
But I love ’em and I’ll keep ’em and I just won’t budge

One is named Roberta, one is named Suzette
You can call me Harry ’cause how Harry can things get?
I love it!

I’m excited like a cockroach in a bowl of Wheaties
I am hopping like a hamster eating ham…
I’m as kooky as a calf who’s eating red meat
And though I know someday I may end up as dead meat
Right now I’m happy as a cockroach in a bowl of Wheaties
With my sweeties I’m as happy as a clam
Who’s eating oysters…
With my sweet potatoes, yes I really yam.
I really mean it
With my sweet potatoes, yes I really yam!

That is just a classic of wordplay, isn’t it? That Ernest Ernest really was one of the best. And the perky Hinky Meltz tune is just a perfect compliment. This song was originally recorded by Wyatt Simkin and his Merry Eight way back in 1943.

Tonight I’ll be attending opening night of a musical entitled A…My Name Is Alice. I know nothing of this show at all, except that it has an interesting array of composer/lyricists. I’ll have a full report tomorrow. Do you know what time it is, dear readers? Why, yes, it’s time to click on that stupid Unseemly Button below. On the count of three… One, two, three.


How many of you clicked on four? Last night I watched the DVD of Fawlty Towers. Somehow I’d missed this show on television. I didn’t even really know what it was about. But everyone I know loved it, so I took a chance and bought the DVD. First off, I had no idea that a show this popular only had twelve episodes in total. That seems very peculiar (unless I’m misreading the DVD, which says “All 12 classic episodes). In any case, I watched the first of the shows and it was pretty damn funny. Great cast, funny lines. I’m looking forward to the other eleven classic episodes.

On with the story.

I spent most of April trying to plan projects. I flew to New York and met with some web designers that David had found, and who were friends of Susan Egan. I liked them immediately and they seemed to really “get” what I was trying to do, especially Julia Evins. They went off to come up with ideas and a price to make it a reality. I met with publicists I knew, and they were hired to help us let the world at large know all about this brand new company. I met with certain artists that I knew I wanted to do solo projects with. I came back to LA and we began the process of trying to name the company. That became our sole focus for awhile. I came up with quite a long list of names. And we began to find out something interesting. All these names had either already been reserved as domain names on the internet or, if they were available as domain names, they weren’t available as trademarks. It became crazy – every new name I’d come up with wasn’t available, no matter how crazy the name. Even Kimmel wasn’t available. Way back in 1994, I’d created an alter ego (as is my wont), a rude Brit named Rollo Fynsworth, which I then shortened to just the last name. Rollo used to do joke tracks on all the singer CDs. We’d do the mix and then when we were through, Rollo would go in and record some rude comments over a track and we’d send it to the singer without telling them. It always cracked them up and we had great fun doing it. When I finally got WebTV as a gift a couple of years later, I became internet bound and fynsworth became my internet name. That is the name I posted under on various Usenet ngs, from around 1996 on. That name became synonymous with mine own. Some of fynworth’s posts were considered classics, I’m proud to say. It was a name unique to me – I made it up, I created it, and I created the chap behind it. It was finally suggested to me that that was the only name we might be able to clear. I did a search on it and, of course, it was available as both a domain name and trademark. I then bought the domain name. I didn’t really love using it, but I decided to allow it, given that it was for my company, a company which was being founded for me, and the investors thought it a great idea since everyone knew I was fynsworth and the company’s personality would be based on me. I also allowed it because I’d been promised an ownership position in the company, so I figured, what the hell. I did know that it would preclude me from posting certain types of posts, but I was willing to go along with that. But I wasn’t happy with the sound of the name alone – I called many friends about it, to express my concern that it just didn’t sound right to me, and one of them suggested to me that it needed another word – and as soon as he said that it all clicked. Right then and there I came up with Street, and from Street we arrived at Alley, which seemed like fun and had a real ring to it, like Tin Pan or Shinbone, and something that was a bit off the beaten track. I also purchased that domain name as well.

So, we had our name, we hired those webdesigners, I had a logo created by my friend, John Alvin, and I decided that our first release would be a Sondheim album. My first album at Varese had been a Sondheim album, done in tandem with a Liz Callaway album. And Liz and I decided we would do her next album as close to the Sondheim album as possible, just because it seemed like good symmetry. I wrote Sondheim and asked him for at least one never recorded song, and he graciously gave me one. I also came up with the concept (I think David was involved, too) of adding a bonus track to the albums, bonus tracks that would only be available on the internet. I began to do press, too, and all the stories focused on how this was my baby, my idea, and how I would continue doing the same types of projects I’d been doing along with new kinds of things. I wanted to do limited editions, things that would never be available in stores. I wanted to record plays. Ideas were bursting out of me like fireworks. David, that first month, worked from college, then he moved out to LA. I hired someone I knew, someone I considered a friend, and someone who was very unhappy in her job (a job I’d basically arranged for her) to come work as the third member of our team – someone who would deal with customers, process and handle all the orders, and run the office. The salary for David was minimal (one could probably have made the same working at McDonald’s), but he was promised an ownership position as well, so that all his hard work would have some meaning. He also asked for an employment contract, as did I. To be continued.

Wonderful news regarding our upcoming Tourette’s Syndrome benefit tribute to Julius Wechter – Nancy Sinatra is joining our merry troupe of special guests. And we have legendary LA radio personality, Chuck Southcott as our announcer. Don’t forget, it’s easy as pie to make reservations by simply calling 818 243-ALEX.

We have a Highest Winner in our Unseemly Trivia Contest. In fact, we only had a handful of guesses, and only one was correct. Congratulations to Michael Shayne for figuring out this very tough question -it took three guesses for him to get it right, and the clue, I believe helped him. The question was, what Tony Award-winning performer also won awards for doing something else, totally non-show-biz related, in other words, in an entirely different profession. The answer is Sammy Williams, winner of the Tony for A Chorus Line. Sammy became an award-winning florist, and won many prizes for his flowers and arrangements, including a couple of major awards at the Rose Bowl Parade. Happily, Sammy has just returned to performing. The clue – that he had a connection to me: He appeared in my musical Stages.

Well, dear readers, I must be off to do the things I do. I do love doing the things I do, although sometimes I have to do things I don’t love. Of course, who doesn’t have to do things they don’t love, even though they do love doing the things they do? All of us, I’d reckon. Today’s topic of discussion: If you were told you could only take ten albums to a desert island on which you would live forever, what would those albums be? I’ll get the ball rolling with a few of my ten: Bill Evans’ Conversations With Myself (probably my favorite album ever), a recording (not sure which) of Rachmaninoff’s Second Symphony, Jerry Goldsmith’s A Patch of Blue (maybe not the best soundtrack ever, but one I’ve listened to hundreds of times and one which never ceases to move me), A Little Night Music by Sondheim (just my favorite to listen to, again not necessarily his best), well, this is simply too hard for my brain this early in the morning. I’ll be back to post some more later. Post away, my little Kimlets and Hainsies. Lots and lots of posts.

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