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March 29, 2002:

BAJA FRESH

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, do you know that every morning when I get up to write these here notes, the first thing I type after I figure out our Title of the Day is, “Well, dear reader”, and do you know that every time I type it it comes out thusly, “WEll, dear reader”. Yes, you heard it hear dear readers, it comes out thusly, “WEll, dear readers.” Well, dear readers, that is very annoying. I can type it one hundred times subsequent to that first time, but it only does the capital “E” the first time. I then have to erase the capital “E” and put in the small “e”. Isn’t that annoying? Doesn’t that just get your dander up? It gets my dander up, I’ll tell you that. My dander was resting peacefully and now it’s up and agitated. You should see my dander – it’s just so irked right now, and when my dander is irked it is not a pretty sight, unlike haineshisway.com which is a pretty site. Now, I have to calm my dander, make nice with my dander, and all because the first thing I type comes out thusly, “WEll, dear readers”. Well, dear readers, I think we’ve pounded this subject into the ground with a mallet, don’t you?

Yesterday I attended a rehearsal with the newly reconstituted Baja Marimba Band and what fun it was. To hear all those great old Julius Wechter songs in that unique sound well, it just makes you smile. And the musicians, most of whom are in their late sixties or early to mid-seventies, still have their chops. Yes, Virginia, these musicians still have their chops. Not their sirloin tips, mind you, and certainly not their meatloaf, no these musicians have their chops and the devil take the hindmost which, of course, is the rump roast. What am I, trying to sound like S.J. Perelman? He wrote Horse Feathers, by the way, a great Marx Brothers movie (he wrote it with Kalmer and Ruby) and it features one of my favorite lines. Zeppo (playing Groucho’s son!) has a comely young lady sitting on his lap, and Groucho says to him, “Young lady, would you mind getting off his lap so I can see the son rise?”
Where was I? I have taken a detour through MarxBrothersland. Oh, yes, the Baja and how fresh they sounded. By the way, tickets to the benefit are going very fast indeed and we’re thrilled at the response. And we’ve still got four weeks to go. I do hope to see some of your dear readers at the event and yes, Virginia, there will be a reception afterwards, complete with ham chunks and cheese slices.

Someone was using our handy-dandy search engine last night, and they searched for “blue light special”. They got 0 hits. But, if they were ever to come back, now they would get a hit. Isn’t that thoughtful of me? I don’t even know what a blue light special is. A blue plate special, yes. A red light special, yes. Perhaps one of our dear readers can illuminate us as to what a blue light special is. Until that time, we shall have to remain in the dark, blue light special-wise. For now, however, why don’t we all click on that Unseemly Button below before Mr. Mark Bakalor shows up in some unseemly costume and bitch-slaps us into another time zone.

Whew! I hate being bitch-slapped into another time zone, don’t you? But we have averted and avoided said bitch-slapping, so phut to Mr. Mark Bakalor and all who are like him.

I finally watched the DVD of The Watcher in the Woods. It’s really not very good, although it has interesting things in it, like Miss Bette Davis and a nice score by Stanley Myers. It also has one of the most ill-written booklets I’ve ever seen which, in trying to tell the story of the history of what happened to the film, only makes it more obscure and complicated. First of all, it promises that we’re going to see the film as never before. That’s not quite accurate, because the DVD contains only the short version of the film Disney put out a year after its initial showing (it was pulled immediately). Twenty minutes were taken out of the film, and the ending was reshot. The booklet writer implies that mostly the beginning and ending were changed. We do get to see two variations on the same alternate ending, though, so that’s fun. But we do not get the original release version, and I’m sorry, that’s what they imply. We also get a commentary track from director John Hough and it’s a mixed blessing, too. He spends much time saying nothing, and when he does speak it’s usually about a location where something was shot, or about his career in general. He never addresses any changes made to the beginning of the film (and there had to be changes because characters just pop up out of nowhere), which is very frustrating. He does talk about the various endings, but it’s just never clear what quite happened because he keeps getting the chronology all screwed up. He does have nice things to say about Miss Davis, though. In any case, the transfer looks top-notch, and it’s fun to finally see the film (it came and went very fast).

As most of you know, four great talents died this week, three of whom you probably know about and one of whom you may not, the terrific singer, Eileen Farrell. While it’s fine to mourn their passing, I always try not to mourn death but to celebrate the life they led. Luckily, with artists, they leave behind their art, so I recommend spending your weekend watching either Arthur or “10” for Mr. Moore
(he is always terrific, but especially shines in those two films), watching any number of Mr. Wilder’s masterpieces (for me it will probably be One, Two, Three, Ace In the Hole, and maybe Some Like It Hot), checking out a Milton Berle Texaco Show (they are on DVD and tape) and listening to one of Miss Farrell’s wonderful later recordings she did with conductor Robert Farnon. I actually adored all four of these people, but none more so than Mr. Wilder, who I think was a great writer and a great director, not to mention being possessed of a rather wicked wit. This man wrote more great dialogue (in collaboration with various partners) than just about anyone who ever lived, especially in terms of quotable lines. “I am big, it’s the pictures that got small.” “Well, nobody’s perfect.” “There’s a speed limit in this city, Mr. Neff.” (and the entire exchange which follows that line, one of the greatest series of back and forth lines ever – from Double Indemnity), and my favorite exchange in all of film – Kirk Douglas to Jan Sterling: “Why don’t you pray for your husband.” To which she replies, “I don’t pray. Kneeling bags my nylons.” If that’s not art, I don’t know what is.

Don’t forget, tomorrow is our Unseemly Trivia Contest which, by the way, will be a blue light special. And Donald will be along shortly to tell you what the radio show will be going up on Sunday evening. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite Wilder moments, your favorite Dudley Moore moments, your favorite Uncle Miltie memories, and your favorite Eileen Farrell tracks? I’ll start: Wilder – the first act of Some Like It Hot, one of the great first acts in movie history, the ending of Witness For the Prosecution, where Wilder out Christie’s Christie, and the whole of One, Two, Three which, dated though it may be, is a lesson in rapid-fire farce, a breathtaking virtuoso comedy. For Dudley, his many movie performances, of course, but for me my happiest memory is actually the record album he did with Peter Cook entitled Derek and Clive Live. It’s one of the single funniest things I’ve ever heard and if you aren’t familiar with it, do whatever you must to seek it out. For Uncle Miltie, it’s his wonderful performance in, of all things, Hieronymous Merkin, with Anthony Newly, in which he plays Good Time Eddie Filth. I always wished that Mr. Berle had gotten to do The Sunshine Boys. And for Miss Farrell, it’s her lovely renditions of Some Other Time and The Music That Makes Me Dance. Your turn.

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