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March 19, 2002:

FACTUAL INFORMATION

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is Tuesday. This is the kind of factual information you find here at haineshisway.com that makes this site indespensible. I’m very proud of the factual information we dispense here at haineshisway.com. For example, did you know it was Tuesday? I feel it’s very important, ultra-important to dispense factual information because people do use our handy-dandy Unseemly Search Button and it would be unseemly if we didn’t have factual information on the topics that people are searching. Why, just yesterday, someone came to this here site and searched for car dealerships. They got very frustrated because there was no factual information on car dealerships. Then they searched “Oldsmobile”. And wouldn’t you know, there was no factual information on Oldsmobiles here. Well, that is wholly unacceptable on the face of it. It is also wholly unacceptable on the arm of it, and perhaps even on the butt cheek of it. I feel I have been derelict in my duty in terms of writing about car dealerships, don’t you, dear readers? Oh, yes, I have been derelict and there are no two or even three ways about it. So, to make up for that, I will this very day tell you that the car dealership that I go to to have my car serviced is located in Van Nuys. Now that is the kind of factual information that we need on this here site and I am glad to have provided it. I do hope that everyone who is searching, searching, searching (that is three searchings) for factual information, will find just what they are looking for, if you get my drift. I hope you get my drift because, frankly, my drift can be obtuse at times. My drift can be oblique and outre.

My goodness, that was a long paragraph about absolutely nothing whatsoever. However, it is chockful of factual information, so there you are.

My goodness, that was a short paragraph about absolutely nothing whatsoever, which just goes to show that there is a certain consistency here at haineshisway.com.

Well, I feel it is time to impart some factual information, don’t you, dear readers? I feel it is time to click on that idiotic Unseemly Button below. How is that for factual information?

There is a wonderful new magazine devoted strictly to illustration art (the type of art I collect), called Illustration. They have many lovely photographs of illustration art (the type of art I collect) and do articles on the masters of the form. Thus far there have been two issues and they have both been superb. Issue One had a large article about James Avati, who painted some of the most memorable classic paperback covers ever. The second issue had a nice article about Norman Saunders, who did many covers for the pulps and paperbacks. I mention this because I had a call from the editor of the magazine. It seems that in the upcoming issue three they are doing an article on the great Robert Maguire, who also created many memorable paperback covers from the fifties and sixties. The editor had heard that I had a great Maguire painting used on the cover of a 1960 Dell paperback. He has asked me to get a transparency shot of it and it is going to appear in the magazine. Isn’t that exciting? And it will say “From the collection of ME”. Now I shall be famous in art circles. Perhaps I will also be famous in art squares and rectangles, as well. I will be admired and thought a person of taste, Robert Maguire-wise, and people will ooh and aah and eat cheese slices and ham chunks. If you’re at all interested in illustration art, pick up a copy of the magazine – I know they carry it at Tower, and I’m sure most of the major newstands.

Well, it is time to reveal the answer to our handy-dandy trivia contest question, and to reveal our Highest Winner. Several people got half the question right, but only one dear reader got both parts correct. The question was:

When I was in high school I saw a musical entitled Stop the World, I Want to Get Off here in Los Angeles, at the Huntington Hartford Theater on Vine St. I loved it so much, that I went back again and again. On the road, the show starred Mr. Joel Grey and Miss Julie Newmar, who were both wonderful in it. On Broadway, of course (and in its original London production), it starred Mr. Anthony Newley and Miss Anna Quayle. Two rather interesting people were stand-bys to Mr. Newley on Broadway and Mr. Grey on the road. Mr. Newley’s stand-by had already played a starring role in a classic musical, would go on to do several other musicals, and also create what would be his most well-known role, which was, ironically, not in a musical. Mr. Grey’s stand-by would go on to have another connection to Mr. Grey, as well as appearing in another incredibly successful show. Name the two stand-bys.

Arnold M. Brockman, Jeff Kauffman and Hapgood all got half the answer correct. But only William E. Lurie got the entire answer correct and therefore William E. Lurie is our Highest Winner and will be receiving a handy-dandy prize of great importance. And the answer is:

The standby to Mr. Newley was Mr. Kenneth Nelson, who had already starred in the original cast of The Fantasticks, and who would go on to star in the flop musical, Lovely Ladies, Kind Gentleman and who would then go on to create the leading role in both stage and film versions of The Boys in the Band.
The standby to Mr. Grey was Mr. Barry Dennen. His other connection to Mr. Grey is that Mr. Dennen would create the role of the Emcee in Cabaret in London. Mr. Dennen also appeared in Jesus Christ, Superstar.

I’m still not finished watching the very long Me and My Shadows: The Story of Judy Garland, but I can tell you that Miss Judy Davis is extraordinary as Miss Judy Garland. She is uncanny in her ability to capture the essence of Judy Garland, and at times it is downright frightening how she looks and sounds like her. The film continues to use the Reader’s Digest approach to biography – everything in big, broad strokes. Then, weirdly, they will suddenly stop everything and recreate something like The Man That Got Away almost in its entirety. I wish there were less of that and more story.

My goodness, these notes are filled with factual information. Have I mentioned, for example, that I have a knot in my neck? I have had said knot in my neck for over two weeks and I think it’s time to have my handy-dandy masseusse come over her, because I do not want this knot in my neck anymore. Or should that be I do knot want this not in my kneck anymore? Why do some “nots” have an “n” and some “knots” have a “k”? Why do some necks have knots and some necks not have knots? In any case, my neck has a knot and said knot is bugging me.

Well, dear readers, I feel we have all had enough factual information for one day. I feel I must go do the things that I must do. Last week I totally forgot to have an Ask Bruce day (which we’d established the week before as a once-a-week affair). So, that will be today’s topic of discussion: Ask Bruce anything you like about anything and Bruce will answer said questions honestly and in a forthright (or, perhaps even forthleft) manner. Now is your chance to ask those questions you’ve always wanted to ask. No holds barred. No barred holds. Barred holds no. Ask away, and tomorrow I shall provide the answers.

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