Well, dear readers, I ate a bit too much macaroni and cheese last night. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I ate a bit too much macaroni and cheese last night and I feel very cheesy this fine morning. I tried feeling macaroni this morning, but the macaroni wasn’t having any of it, so instead I’m feeling very cheesy. Last night I supped with our very own Juliana A. Hansen and her mother Diane Hansen. Juliana is home for a visit from college. We went to Dalt’s in Burbank, California, and that is where I ate a bit too much macaroni and cheese. The macaroni and cheese at Dalt’s is quite tasty, but it’s very very rich and gooey, because they use three count them three cheeses. I think there was a point to this story when I started it, but I can no longer remember what it was. Suffice it to say that I am feeling very cheesy this morning.
Several new and interesting DVDs came out yesterday, the most fun of which were two two-disc sets of the tv series, Peter Gunn. I was quite fond of Peter Gunn as a youngster – I thought it was cooliscious, and I loved the suavity of Craig Stevens who played Peter Gunn. He was like a tv Cary Grant. I haven’t seen any episodes of the show since they first aired. In any case, I bought both sets and I watched the first episode last night. I remember it being an action-packed show, and when the prologue came on it was not only action-packed, it was extremely violent. The rest of that first episode, however, is all talk. Talk, talk, talk (that is three talks). But I liked it anyway, because it was cooliscious. I mean, it has Lola Albright singing Day In, Day Out with a jazz quintet. It has a nightclub called Mother’s, owned by, you guessed it, a character called Mother. It has future Tevye and Zorba, Herschel Bernardi as Lt. Jacobi, and the first episode also featured a very young (and very thin) Gavin MacLeod and Jack Weston. It’s all very noirish, with great photography by Phil Lathrop. And can we talk about the music? Henry Mancini changed the face of television music with his score to Peter Gunn. It’s big-band jazzy swinging main theme is unforgettable (right from the famous vamp on), and the album from the series sold millions of copies. The show was created by Blake Edwards, and he directed the first episode (and I’m sure others). I’m sure the show got better as it went along – they were setting up all the characters in the first episode – and I’m looking forward to seeing the other episodes.
Well, today is the day when I answer the questions you posed yesterday. Yes, Virginia, yesterday’s questions are going to be answered today because today is the day when I answer the questions you posed yesterday. So, let’s all click on that Unseemly Button below and get to it, shall we?
Laura asks what musical instruments do I play?
The only musical instrument I play is the instrument known as the piano. I am not a great piano player, but I get by.
Sandra asks why is it that old fat women are so fond of wearing leopard spots?
That is an interesting question and I went in search of an answer. I walked over to Ventura Blvd. and mosied along until I found an old fat woman wearing leopard spots. I stopped her and said, “Excuse me – I notice you’re an old fat woman and that you are wearing leopard spots. Dear reader Sandra wants to know why”. She looked at me a moment as if I were a piece of rotted tongue, and then answered thusly: “Eat me”. I thought that was an odd answer as to why an old fat woman would be fond of wearing leopard spots. I began to press her for another answer but she wasn’t having any of it and she moved on, rather haughtily I thought. In fact, I thought her whole attitude was rather catty, so maybe that is why old fat women are fond of wearing leopard spots.
Oops, forgot a topic of discussion. What is your favorite Maltby and Shire song? I’ll start and I’ll name just one, because it’s quite perfect: Autumn. Oh, I can’t just name one: I Don’t Remember Christmas, Dancing All The Time, Starting Here, Starting Now, Miss Byrd, The Story Goes On, and on and on and on.
I don’t know what in tarnation happened, but I added a topic of discussion (what is your favorite Maltby and Shire song) but somehow it ended up in the middle of today’s notes. So, scroll up and see my choices or scroll down and post. These darn computer things are compicated for those such as I.
Hapgood had a few questions. Here they are.
What is my age: 54. I don’t even know what that number means, since I neither look nor feel 54, but that is my age and there is nothing to be done about it. I have, though, begun wearing leopard spots, so maybe I am showing my age just a little.
Am I planning to direct another movie: I wouldn’t mind directing another movie – so if anyone would like me to direct another movie, I’m available. However, I consider that the 130 albums I’ve produced in the last eight years were like making little movies for the ear. That was my goal anyway.
What is my opinion of Grease, both film and stage version: Oh, I don’t think about it too much. I’ve actually never seen a real production of the stage version (just that awful Troika tour with my pals Cindy Williams and Eddie Mekka), and I find the film strange, although enjoyable.
What is my opinion of this year’s theater season: I can’t really offer an opinion, as I haven’t seen enough of the season. I will be going back to New York soon, though, and catching up on all the shows. Then I can offer a seasoned opinion on this year’s theater season, and I shall wear leopard spots whilst offering said seasoned opinion. My opinion, by the way, is seasoned with garlic salt.
How and why am I so multi-talented: That is a very sweet thing to say. I was given gifts, I suppose. When you are given gifts, it is very important to nurture them and take care of them and to let them breathe and grow. Unfortunately, in this world, people don’t like when people can do more than one thing well – they get annoyed and they try to keep you down. If you are given gifts, don’t let those small-minded naysayers keep you from doing all you can do.
Craig has this scenario: I get to produce my dream CD. 15 tracks. Any song from any show with anyone I wish to sing each track. Too hard. However, I will say that I have been lucky enough to record most of the songs I love, and to record them with artists who are wonderfully talented and wonderful to work with. That is called being blessed. Craig also wants to know what my favorite variety of M&M is. I like M&M Almond.
Arnold M. Brockman asks the following: In all the history or recorded Broadway or Off-Broadway musicals, which show would I have hotly desired to produce. And what are the reasons for this desire?
Well, the first thing that comes to mind is the original cast album of Follies. As most of you know, it was not well-produced, it was horridly truncated, and it did not serve the brilliance of the show. Of course, it’s still a must-have for the performances, and it’s still the only version of Follies that I listen to. But I would have killed to do that album with those people – to plan that album and to make the aural equivalent of what was happening on the stage – well, talk about little movies for the ear.
William F. Orr asks why my name wasn’t amongst the guests attending Miss Liza Minnelli’s wedding? I feel it is a gross oversight on the part of the wedding planners. Oh, well, their loss. I was going to wear my tuxedo with leopard spots and now they’ll just have to do without. Oh, yes, they’ll just have to do without.
Lolita asks what kind of car I drive? I drive a car called the Infiniti. I like it very much.
S. Woody White asks which of Jason Graae’s many albums I’ve produced and which I haven’t. Very simple: I’ve produced both his solo albums, and every compilation that he appeared on on the Varese Sarabande label. I did not produce any album that he appears on on any other label – in other words, I didn’t do Forever Plaid or any of the John McGlinn recordings, etc.
JMK asks if I ever went “over the rainbow” with Miss Lorna Luft? By that he means did I ever sing showtunes with her? I couldn’t have done any other kind of over the rainbow with her as she was only twelve when I knew her. I did not sing showtunes with her, although I do have a memory of Walter Willison, Lorna and I doing “We’re Off To See The Wizard” down Westwood Blvd.
Well, those were all the questions we had yesterday. And therefore, those are all the answers we had today. In other words, there cannot be more answers than questions because that would be unseemly. Have I mentioned that I’m feeling very cheesy on account of eating a bit too much macaroni and cheese at Dalt’s in Burbank, California?
Tomorrow I will tell you the story of my having put a Guy Haines compilation together for a friend. You know, assembling all the tracks that Guy has sung on onto one long and endless CD. Because Guy has appeared on over nineteen albums (not counting his solo album), I got to hear a lot of things I haven’t heard in quite some time. That was very interesting, and I have some observations to make on what I heard (not Guy’s tracks, the other stuff).
Well, dear readers, you have questioned, I have answered, and now it is time to go out and do the things I do whilst feeling cheesy on this fine Wednesday which, I suppose, is better than feeling Wednesday on this fine cheesy. If you see me on the street or in my Infiniti automobile, be sure to wave. I’ll be the one in the leopard spots.