Well, dear readers, here we are in the throes of March. Not the throws of March, mind you, no, we are in the throes of March, which is a whole other ball of waxy buildup. I have several balls of waxy buildup – I keep them in a drawer for whenever they may come in handy. For example, they just came in handy vis a vis these here notes. “Vis a vis”? Can we even go there? “Vis a vis”. I mean, honestly. Talk about waxy buildup. “Vis a vis” (“siv a siv” spelled backwards). In any case here we are in the throes of March. The throes of February are already fading in my memory. Excuse me for a moment.
There, I just went to the drawer where I keep my balls of waxy buildup. I took one of the balls out and threw it, so now we are indeed both in the throws and throes of March. Is this what they mean by stomping an idea into the ground? Just asking.
We are toying with an idea here at haineshisway.com. We love to toy with ideas here at haineshisway.com, especially Tonka Toys. Here is what we are thinking, vis a vis this idea: How many of you would be interested in buying a CD of the songs of Hinky Meltz and Ernest Ernest as interpreted by our very own Guy Haines and special guests? Because, frankly or even harryly, that is the idea we are toying with here at haineshisway.com. Why are we toying with this idea? Well, first of all, I had a request from one of our dear readers. Yes, Virginia, one of our dear readers was interested in the songs of Hinky Meltz and Ernest Ernest. Second of all, isn’t it time we celebrate the work of these great yet virtually unknown (except to the “with it” denizens of this here website) Meltz and Ernest? We here at haineshisway.com think it’s time, but not if the “with it” denizens of this here website aren’t interested in owning it. Let us know what you think vis a vis this idea which, by the way, we are toying with in a Mattel fashion.
Here is another idea we are toying with. We are toying (Hasbro) with the idea of a special giveaway for people who purchase my novel (hardcover version) here at haineshisway.com. Those who do so would receive a special CD included with the novel. This CD would have all the songs that are mentioned or used in the novel, as interpreted by our very own Guy Haines. In other words, music to read Benjamin Kritzer by. Since all the songs are classics that I loved from the mid-fifties, it would be a lot of fun. What do we think of that idea? That is two ideas and I simply must know what you think of them, so post your thoughts vis a vis these ideas in the Unseemly Comment box in the next section.
Here is another idea we are toying with here at haineshisway.com. We are toying with the idea of clicking on the Unseemly Button below before we are all bitch-slapped into oblivion by Mr. Mark Bakalor.
I didn’t mean to write so much on the teaser page, but I got carried away. Carried away, carried away, I get carried away.
As I may or may not have already mentioned (I am currently senile and can’t remember what I’ve written and not written in these here notes), I decided to do something very unusual for our handy-dandy Nudie Musical faux retrospective documentary. Normally, these documentaries are scored with music from the actual film. Our problem is, other than the songs, there is no score to the film. Our director, Mr. Nick Redman, was going to use the songs, but I felt it would be confusing to have lyrics under talking. So, being the clever boy I am, I asked my friend Grant Geissman (brilliant guitarist, arranger and Madman) to arrange three of my songs instrumentally and to record them. I thought they should sound funky, like the soundtrack to Sweet and Low, a film by Mr. Woody Allen. So, Grant did the title song, Let ‘Em Eat Cake, and The Lights and the Smiles. And they were brilliant – so much fun, so kicky, and perfect to score a faux retrospective documentary with. Now, as you may or may not know, in the Special Edition DVD package they are including a seperate soundtrack CD. That CD had just gone to the manufacturers. But I had a sudden thought, and I called Image Entertainment and had them pull the soundtrack master (which is only 28 minutes long). I called Grant and told him that if he’d arrange the rest of the songs (six others) in similar instrumental fashion, that I’d add his stuff to the existing soundtrack CD. He was delighted, and went to work. Well, yesterday I heard the rest, and they are incredibly fun tracks. I’ll be using all of them to score the documentary, and then on the CD you’ll get not only the film soundtrack but the documentary soundtrack as well. Isn’t that cooliscious? Isn’t that swellegant?
Now, you Hainsies and Kimlets, you must post your reaction to the ideas I have been toying with. You must also check out the weekend notes if you were errant and truant or even truant and errant, because if you missed them you missed another classic Meltz and Ernest song, Silly Food. Simply click on the Unseemly Archive button and you will be whisked away to Weekendland. Also, you have until midnight to send me a guess for the Unseemly Trivia Contest question. Above all, don’t forget to check out Mr. Donald Feltham’s brand spanking new The Broadway Radio Show, which features a lovely interview with our very own Tammy Minoff, about her experiences as a child actress on Broadway, first in The Will Rogers Follies and then The Goodbye Girl, in which she played Miss Bernadette Peters daughter. She has appeared on many of my albums, and Donald will be playing her classic Joshua Noveck.
In addition to posting your thoughts vis a vis the ideas we are toying with, today’s topic of discussion is: If you were a producer and had the chance to do any revival of a musical that you wanted to do – what would it be and who would you cast in the leads?