Well, dear readers, I am writing these here notes as a word document because of what happened yesterday. I do not like writing these here notes as a word document because I have gotten used to writing them in my cute handy-dandy form that Mr. Mark Bakalor prepared for me. However, doing them as a word document means that if AOL loses the connection (I feel they lost the connection years ago) then at least I won’t lose everything I’ve written. I know it’s the only time it’s happened since I began doing these daily notes, so maybe I’ll try it again tomorrow.
Have I mentioned that I don’t like writing these here notes as a word document? My cute handy-dandy form has nice things to look at if I’m stuck thinking about what to write. Here, if I get stuck thinking about what to write I have nothing to look at but this fershluganah word document. Plus, every time I write a word like fershluganah the word document underlines it because it doesn’t recognize the word fershluganah. I find that heinous (heinous, do you hear me?). Like it’s my problem if the fershluganah word document doesn’t recognize the word fershluganah? Look at all those underlines, that is just so annoying. Now the fershluganah word document has underlined the last bit of the last sentence because apparently I did something wrong and the word document is alerting me to the fact that I have made some kind of grammatical or punctual error and do you know what I don’t care and do you know how much I don’t care well I will tell you how much I don’t care I don’t care so much that I’m allowing this sentence to become one of those unseemly run-on sentences just so the damned word document will have to underline the entire endless barrage of words and let me know that hey I’d better put some punctuation in there I mean this word document is chiding me, dear readers, and I will not be chided do you hear me certainly not by the likes of a word document now wait just a darned minute here. Look at that mass of underlines – but I just realized that when I cut and paste this into my cute handy-dandy form that you will not see the underlines and therefore you will think I’m insane and perhaps that is the true purpose of a word document, to make people seem insane, to give them the Gaslight treatment. Well, it’s not going to work, damn the word document’s eyes. What the hell am I talking about?
Well, we’re just two days away from the Big Day, the Big Show, the Big Event. We’re all very excited indeed. We’re having one final rehearsal with the Baja Marimba Band tomorrow, and then we’re in the theater at eight in the morning on Sunday. Therefore, I will have to write Sunday’s notes on Saturday night. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Which is better than getting ahand of myself or even aknee of myself. I know they’re not words, you stupid word document.
Perhaps we should all just click on that Unseemly Button below, even though in a word document there is no Unseemly Button below, above, to the side, or anywhere else.
I did enjoy answering all your questions in yesterday’s notes. That is always one of the highlights of my week. One of the lowlights of my week is writing these here notes as a word document.
Aren’t we a merry group? Don’t you just think we’re a merry group? I feel we should put on colored tights and pantaloons and prance around our various living rooms quoting pithy Shakespearean lines like, ” O, what a rogue and peasant slave am I”. We should put rouge on our cheeks (not our butt cheeks, no, rouged butt cheeks would be unseemly) because if you’re a rogue you should have rouge. Wouldn’t that be a fine title for a play? The Rouged Rogue. Or, The Rogue Rouged, depending on what type of play it is. The Rouged Rogue would be a thrilling play or story, like The Scarlet Pimpernel. The Rogue Rouged would be a Restoration Comedy. Or, perhaps we could simply make it a rowdy tale, like The Randy Vicar and the Rouged Rogue. Does anyone have a clue as to what the hell I’m talking about? Oh, yes, of course – what a merry group we are. We are not like other sites, where people fight with each other, where uncouth interlopers come on to cause trouble or with hidden agendas – no, we are a merry group and others should learn from us. They should take a leaf from our book. But then our book wouldn’t have a leaf and I feel it is very important that our books have something from our gardens, don’t you? Yes, we are a merry group, prancing around in our colored tights and pantaloons. Other message boards and sites do not have merry groups who prance around in colored tights and pantaloons. We are one of a kind, merry group-wise.
Don’t forget, tomorrow is our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest day. Hopefully, I will have thought of a handy-dandy mind twister by then. I know that Mr. Donald Feltham is supposed to be back in town and he’s promised he will put up a rerun of an oft-requested episode of The Broadway Radio Show. Also, next week I shall continue our Biography of Meltz and Ernest. With the benefit looming large I simply haven’t had time to do it, and I wouldn’t want to rush through their marvelous Biography because that would be giving them short shrift and, frankly, they deserve all the shrift they can get.
I have been a very good eater this last week and I am happy to report that I have indeed shed a few pounds and will be able to fit in my handy-dandy suit. I have been jogging daily as well. In fact, when I looked in the mirror this morning I thought I saw someone who was buff and toned with abs and buns of steel. Then my eyes focused and I realized it was just me with my usual abs and buns. I am working hard to be buff and toned with abs and buns of steel, and that has to count for something. Why does “that” have to count for “something”? Does “something” count for “that”? Why can’t “something” count for itself? Didn’t “something” take even rudimentary mathematics?
I may have already mentioned that I don’t really like writing these here notes as a word document, but in case anyone has forgotten, I am mentioning it again.
Well, I now have to decide if I am a Rouged Rogue or a Rogue Rouged. Then I must take the day, hit the road, do the things I do. For example, I must go to the market today, because I have been so busy this week that I haven’t had time to do such things as go to the market, therefore I have run out of Diet Coke, cheese slices and ham chunks. My refrigerator is but a pale shadow of its former self and we can’t have that now, can we? Today’s topic of discussion: What movies have simply blown you out of the theater – whose images, sound and power made your mouth drop to the floor? I’ll start: Seven Wonders of the World in Cinerama, 2001: A Space Odyssey, Close Encounters of the Third Kind, Abel Gance’s Napolean, Spartacus, West Side Story, Vertigo, The Searchers, The High and the Mighty (I was but a wee sprig of a twig of a youth, but it was something), The Seventh Voyage of Sinbad, The Thief of Bagdad, Once Upon a Time in America and the West, and quite a few others. Your turn.