Well, dear readers, I hope you’re all recovering from your very long and full holiday weekend. I hope you’ve had your fill of barbecued weiners, Speedos, and sitting in your collective easy and difficult chairs. We had lots of fun here at haineshisway.com over the weekend, so if you missed any of it I recommend using the Unseemly Archive Button to catch up. We had Meltz and Ernest songs, we had big announcements, we had everything the traffic will allow. Now it is Tuesday even though it seems like Monday and I am having unseemly computer problems and unfortunately the dear reader who normally helps me with such things is nowhere to be found. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, the person who normally helps me with unseemly computer problems is nowhere to be found. Therefore, I shall have to deal with the unseemly computer problems later, but hopefully not too much later. In the meantime, because I am having unseemly computer problems I am going to have to make these here notes short because I do not want to take the chance of losing them.
Why do these stupid computer things happen? There is simply no rhyme or reason or for that matter no reason or rhyme for it. There is, however, a rhyme for reason and it is season or treason. And, of course, there is a reason for a rhyme because if you are writing a song it is unseemly not to rhyme when rhymes should be made. What the hell am I talking about? Oh, yes, the lack of rhyme and reason for my unseemly computer problems. Perhaps there is a rhyme for my unseemly computer problems –
My computer’s having problems
Of that there is no doubt
I shall have to write short notes
Until it’s figured out.
We have a birthday announcement today – today is the birthday of dear reader, Mr. Arnold M. Brockman and we wish Mr. Arnold M. Brockman the happiest of birthdays. Let us all put on our pointy party hats, our colored tights and pantaloons and our fake moustaches and eat cheese slices, ham chunks and shrimp bits on toast. Let us dance the Hora and also the Jitterbug. Let us partake of gooey birthday cake and Ambrosia Salad. And most of all, let us do all those things without rhyme or reason.
Last night I watched two count them two DVDs – Sorry, Wrong Number and Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. Sorry, Wrong Number is quite overwrought but still fun. I adore the radio play by Lucille Fletcher on which it’s based and when I was a mere sprig of a twig of a tad of a youth I recorded my very own version of said radio play on my Webcor Reel to Reel tape recorder. If I remember correctly, I played the leading role (using a falsetto voice) and all the other roles as well. In any case, I always enjoy Miss Barbara Stanwyck – but all the other characters and flashbacks merely pad out what is a remarkable hour-long tour de force radio show. The director, Mr. Anatole Litvak, is heavy of hand and camera, the camerwork in this film is always on the prowl and molto agitato. I liked the score by Mr. Franz Waxman, too.
Harry Potter was pretty enjoyable. I had started reading the first book, was enjoying it a lot, got busy and never did finish the thing. I found the movie a bit disjointed but fun – obviously they had to cram an awful lot of material into two-and-a-half hours. I find Chris Columbus an uninspired Spielberg clone, and I must say I was really disappointed in the John Williams score, which is a rarity for me, since I’m a big fan. I thought the cast was splendid, including Harry himself, who was not liked by some. I very much liked little Hermoine and Harry’s friend, and John Hurt, Alan Rickman, Richard Harris and Maggie Smith were all excellent. But the whole thing just didn’t seem to gel right – the whole Alan Rickman revelation is just dropped in, then forgotten (I know there’ll be more in the sequel), and the thing just seems herky-jerky and also jerky-herky to me. The look of the film is lovely, and the CGI effects are mostly fine, although I am tiring of the look of them. Still and all, I would recommend it.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Well, we’d better all click on the Unseemly Button below because I have to wrap up these notes quickly so I can deal with my computer problems and the rhyme and reason for same.
Don’t forget to check out our brand spanking new sections, they’re very exciting – you can order a handy-dandy DVD or novel, you can order all manner of new products and it’s all very well designed by our very own Mr. Mark Bakalor.
Well, the trivia contest was a big pain in the butt cheeks, let me tell you that. I thought it was very simple and cut-and-dried, but unfortunately it wasn’t, despite all my clarifications. However, we did have three High Winners and thus we have a Highest Winner, chosen randomly from our unseemly Electronic Hat. Here was the question:
As far as I know, in the world of musicals there have only been two that were written by pop songwriters who were known for an incredible string of top-ten hits. Now, I mean book musicals, not revues such as Smokey Joe’s Café. And I want to put an emphasis on top-ten hits. In other words, while Randy Newman’s Faust would be a fine guess, Mr. Newman really hasn’t had any top-ten hits or if he has he certainly hasn’t had an incredible string of them. Name the pop songwriters and the two book musicals they wrote. One of them is obviously very easy, the other a bit less so. Bonus question: One of the two musicals has another major connection to the top-ten pop world. What is the connection? Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
I later clarified by saying pop hits of the late fifties on. In any case the obvious first part of the answer would be Burt Bacharach and Hal David and Promises, Promises. The second part, the controversial part, the answer is Tony Hatch and Jackie Trent and The Card. I know there were other answers but that’s the one I thought most filled the bill here. After all, Mr. Hatch and Miss Trent had an incredible string of pop hits, and were, in fact, the English Bacharach and David. The bonus question answer is The Card’s star, Jim Dale, who wrote the top-ten hit, Georgy Girl.
Congratulations to everyone who played, because there were, in fact, many many many (that is three manys) good guesses. However, the High Winners this week are Stephen Farrow, Thomas J. Guest and Allan. The Electronic Hat has chosen our Highest Winner and it is Allan, so if Allan will send his handy-dandy address he will receive a sparkling prize.
Well, dear readers, the person who helps me with computer problems is back and is about to call so I can deal with the ones I am having for no rhyme or reason. Do remember that tomorrow is Ask BK Day, so get all your excellent questions ready and I shall prepare to answer them. Today’s topic of discussion: With all this talk of Miss Elaine Stritch’s show (which I sadly missed), what is your favorite one-person show you’ve ever seen? I’ll start: Oscar Brown, Jr. in the early sixties. I’ve never seen anyone do a better show than Mr. Brown’s.