Well, dear readers, can you believe it, I am still fighting being sick. This yechhhy feeling will not go away, it simply hovers and will abate. Perhaps today it will abate. Perhaps tomorrow. In the meantime, I shall have to have this yechhhy feeling and just hope it doesn’t turn into a blechhhy feeling. I hate that, I hate when yechhhy becomes blechhhy, don’t you?
Here is something interesting for those that like something interesting: On this, my handy-dandy laptop computer, there is something called a browser cache and said browser cache has a size limit, according to the handy-dandy aol systems utilities thing. That size limit is 65,505 KB. First of all, shouldn’t the size limit be 65,505 BK since it’s my computer. What are they, dyslexic at AOL? Well, no need to answer that, is there? Anyway, I would occasionally go into the “utilities” thing and clear the cache when it would get up past 40,000 KB or BK, because things would move faster when I did that. But of late I have noticed a heinous (heinous, do you hear me?) thing happening. My KB or BK has jumped into the millions. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, whilst my browser cache limit is still 65,505 KB/BK, the number above it rises well into the million KB/BK. How can that be and why? Or, conversely, why can that be and how? AOL, of course, has every answer under the sun and every solution, none of which have anything to do with the problem. AOL just loves to have you unload adapters and other things, but whatever they have you do doesn’t fix the problem at hand. Now, I don’t know that it is a problem, mind you, because everything still works, so maybe that million-plus KB/BK number is bogus. I just find it weird that it’s doing it now when it’s never done it before. Computer experts tell me it has something to do with cookies. They say my computer has cookies. Well, I have never seen a cookie on this computer and I certainly would have noticed a cookie, especially if it were an Oreo or a Nutter Butter or one of those pink and white Mother’s animal cookies. In any case, my computer expert friends say cookies are the culprit, but I was under the impression that one must have cookies so that when you log onto amazon.com you can see “Hello, Bruce, we have new things for you”. Well, that’s what I see – I hope you see your very own name and not mine. If you see mine, then you have to “click here” according to amazon. I don’t really know what happens if you “click here” but I believe you are taken to a dungeon and flogged mercilessly, like Judge Turpin, and you are made to stand in the corner and sing songs from Phantom of the Opera in Latvian. Where was I? Oh, yes, cookies. Well, presumably I’ve always had cookies, but this million KB/BK thing has only been happening for the last eight weeks or so. I tell you it is unseemly to have over a million KB/BK when your limit is 65,505 KB/BK. Computers – I tell you.
All this talk of cookies has made me desirous of one. And yet, I have no cookies in my very own home, so my desire will have to remain a streetcar, or my desire will have to cool it under the elms.
Yesterday, I caught up on some DVD watching (Sunday being a good day to do such things). I watched my second Cliff Richard musical, Summer Holiday, which was enjoyable but not nearly as good as The Young Ones, even though it was a bigger hit. However, as I watched it I couldn’t help thinking that Mr. Jacques Demy must have been a big fan of both these movies. See them and you will know why immediately. Summer Holiday especially has many costumes and color designs and choreography (again by Herbert Ross) that will instantly transport you to Rochefort. Most interestingly, the leading lady of Summer Holiday is Lauri Walters, who was the original Broadway Liesl in The Sound of Music. She’s cute as a button, our Lauri is.
I then watched the brand spanking new DVD of Walt Disney’s The Parent Trap, starring Hayley Mills and Hayley Mills. However, before I discuss it I’m afraid we must all do that tiresome thing we must do – we must all click on that Unseemly Button below because, well, we must, according to the powers that be. One cannot defy the powers that be because the powers that be will then bitch-slap each and every last one of us and we can’t have that, so let us click away and be done with it.
So, I watched the brand spanking new Special Edition DVD of The Parent Trap. What a wonderful film. I first saw it at the Vogue Theater in 1961. I saw it six times in one week. Why did I do such a thing? Four words: Hayley Mills Hayley Mills. Oh, how I loved Hayley Mills. Oh, what a crush I had on Hayley Mills. I couldn’t get enough of the film or both Hayleys. I wanted to see it many more times, but my parents had decreed I was to go to camp that summer (sleep-away camp, which I’d never done and didn’t have any interest in doing). I was so upset about not seeing my Hayley, that I took two hundred dollars from my father’s pants-pocket (my father always carried scads of money in his pants pocket) whilst he was sleeping, and I went to the May Company and bought a small portable reel-to-reel tape recorder (battery operated), and I took that small reel-to-reel tape recorder (no cassettes in those days) into the Vogue Theater and I recorded all the songs from the film so I’d have them with me at summer camp.
I’m happy to report that The Parent Trap DVD is aces – great transfer and chockfull of extras, including a nice but too short documentary, which features Hayley, a still-amazing looking Maureen O’Hara, and the writer/director, David Swift. Maureen, in fact, looks younger than Hayley, which I don’t quite understand, although it would lead one to believe that one of them has had a little work (if you get my drift) done. There is also a love-fest commentary track from Hayley and Mr. Swift. It’s all perfectly lovely and a must-have. Now, here’s a brain-teaser trivia question for a Monday – and if someone guesses correctly, I will award a sparkling prize: A fairly well-known musical theater actress plays (sans credit, for some reason), one of Sharon’s friends at camp, Betsy. Her voice, at least to me, is instantly recognizable, and once you recognize the voice the face instantly follows. Who is she?
Speaking of trivia, since there has been some fine trivia questions posted to the site in the last week, may I make this suggestion (I already did, but you may have missed it, and I’ll get to that in a moment): Send me any trivia questions you think are good enough for our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest, and we will have guest quizzes, and if your question is chosen, I will send you a sparkling prize. Also, speaking of trivia, I am shocked that we have only had two guesses this week – to a fairly simple question, in my humble opinion. Now, what was with this weekend, dear readers? Where did all of you go? We were so lonesome here at haineshisway.com, although, looking at the stats, I see that traffic was, in fact, quite healthy. So, people were here, but not posting. If you did miss the weekend’s notes, do use the Unseemly Archive Button and catch up, because they are chockfull of useless information.
Dear reader Laura asked everyone here to send our best vibes to dear reader Megan, who is going through some difficult things. So, let us all send Megan our best vibes. Not only should we send her our best vibes, but we should send her our best marimbas, too. Having been through some difficult times myself (certain people who do love to come and read these here notes will know exactly whatof I speak), I can only tell you that you should keep your chin up, spirits high and just don’t let anyone or anything get you down. I know that sounds as corny as Kansas in August, and I know it’s not always easy to do, but being positive works, and being positive always annoys those who would try to inject negativity into our lives, so the more positive the better. In the meantime, we all send Megan our best vibes and marimbas, and even a cookie.
I am still feeling yechhhy, but not as yechhhy as I was a half-hour ago. That gives me hope that the yechhhy feeling will not turn into a blechhhy feeling. However, if it does, I shall remain positive in the face of said blechhhyness and I will eat a cookie, not to mention a cheese slice and ham chunk.
You have until midnight tonight to tender your guesses, so please do so, even if they are totally wrong you can say you played the game. Today’s topic of discussion, by the way, will not be westerns. No, today’s topic of discussion will be ripped directly from the pages of these here notes, to wit: Who was your very first screen crush, actor or actress. I’ll start: In order to find out my very first screen crush you will have to read my book – but I’ll tell you who my second screen crush was – it was our very own Susan Gordon, that’s who it was. My third and fourth screen crush was, of course, Hayley Mills and Hayley Mills, and my fifth screen crush was Miss Yvette Mimieux. Your turn.