Well, dear readers, yesterday was a very exciting day – all meetings went extremely well and I am here to tell the tale. Yes, Virginia, I am here to tell the tale but I shall not be telling the tail of the tale because the tail of the tale has not been told yet and so it would be unseemly of me to speculate, tail/tale-wise. Well, that was a sentence, wasn’t it? Oh, yes, that was a sentence.
First I had a meeting with a Broadway Producer and that meeting went swimmingly and we weren’t even at the pool. If all you Hainsies/Kimlets keep your digits crossed, I may have some very interesting and good news to report next week. I can say no more because, as some of you may know, in show business people talk a good game, shake many hands, but until you have it official it’s not official. In other words, I would hate to mention something and then have it not happen all of a sudden. We’d get all excited and then our excitement would be deflated and we must never deflate our excitement. We must, at all times, keep our excitement excited. I can and will only tell you that I shook hands twice.
I then went on to my next meeting, and spent two count them two lovely hours with the lovely Miss Cybill Shepherd. What a delight she is – bright, funny and beautiful (BFAB, in Internet lingo). I can’t really say what the meeting was in regards to, but hopefully I will soon be able to reveal that as well. So many mysterious goings on here at haineshisway.com, but believe me you will all be the first to know when the tail of the tale comes to pass.
Now, there are two events coming up which I can talk about and so I shall right this very minute. On Friday, June 28th, we are doing a DVD signing for The First Nudie Musical at a store called Laserblazer in West Los Angeles, at 10587 West Pico Boulevard, which is about three blocks east of Overland. The signing starts at 7:00 and there will be many cast members in attendance. If you’re in the area, you simply must stop by and have some cheese slices and ham chunks. It’s going to be a lot of fun, and we shall all be dressed in our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons. The following two days, June 29th and 30th, I will be at a Hollywood Memorabilia Show put on by Ray Courts. There will be many many celebrities in attendance, all signing autographs for the heady throngs (which, as you know, is better than the heady thongs). I shall be there, selling both novel and DVD, and best of all I’ll be sitting right next to our very own Susan Gordon, who will be giving her very own autographs to the heady throngs. There are always many interesting folks at these shows – at the last one I got to meet and greet with Miss Giselle McKenzie. Even Miss Carrie Fisher was at the last show, and her table was the most popular of all. I’ve gone to many of these shows over the years, and have been asked to participate before, but until now I didn’t really see the point of doing them. Out of all the ones I attended, would you like to know who had the longest line for autographs (even longer than Miss Carrie Fisher)? Well, I’ll tell you who had the longest line for autographs because why should I keep such information from you. Mr. Steve Reeves, that is who had the longest line for autographs. Mr. Reeves passed away a year or two, but I have to tell you that for a man who must have been over seventy at the time, he looked even more buff and toned than me and everyone else in the room. In any case, the memorabilia show takes place at the Beverly Garland Hotel in North Hollywood on Vineland, about three blocks north of Ventura Boulevard. You simply must stop by if you’re in the neighborhood, and say hello to Susan and myself.
Well, I do believe the clock on the wall is telling me it’s time for us to click on the Unseemly Button below. Did you know that the clock on the wall is a Benjamin Kritzer clock, which I purchased right here at haineshisway.com? Think about that whilst clicking away, dear readers.
Do you know what today it, dear readers? I think you do, oh, yes, I think you do. Today is Ask BK Day, that glorious day when you get to ask all of your excellent questions that you’ve been thinking up. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Yesterday, our posts were back to normal, and we were once again popular with the populace and the envy of one and all and also all and one. Remember, we must make June even more popular than May and April. June is already more popular than March and there are still ten days to go. Let’s make those ten days count, dear readers. Let us spread the word like fine butter, let us tell all our various and sundried friends, let us shout it from the highest hill, let us deliver the message with verve and vivacity, let us say to the world at large, hey world at large what in tarnation are you doing – get yourself over to haineshisway.com and get with it.
I started watching Mr. Robert Altman’s Gosford Park last night. I put in the brand spanking new DVD, watched the credits and first scene and promptly fell asleep. When I woke up a half-hour later, I watched another forty-five minutes. I do hope that something happens in Gosford Park, because all that has happened thus far is idle chatter – first with the idle rich, and then in the servant’s quarters, with the idle poor. I do like the music of Mr. Patrick Doyle (along with the songs of Mr. Ivor Novello) very much indeed, and the film looks lovely. So, hopefully, there will be a plot at some point.
Well, dear readers, I’m going to turn the floor over to you. Now wait just a consarned minute here. “Turn the floor over”? How can you turn the floor over? That is night unto impossible without discombobulating the entire foundation that the floor sits on. That is just one for the books, that saying. “Turn the floor over”. In any case, it is time for you to pose your questions. I like my questions posed in a half-profile, with feet in the third position. Pose yours any way you see fit. Ask away, my pretties.