Well, dear readers, day one of the Hollywood Memorabilia show is but a memory and day two is upon us. First of all, don’t you hate that? Day one… day two. Who started that? Let us not say day one or day two anymore ever. In any case day one… oops, I said it. Anyway, the first day was lots of fun. You won’t believe it but I actually sold eight books (all hardcovers) and 10 DVDs. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? My friends Nick Redman and Cissy Wechter were there to lend me moral support which was good as my morals tend to go to hell when I’m in a crowd. My goodness there were a lot of celebrities there on day one… oops, I said it again. We had such show business legends as Jamie Farr and Loretta Swit. We had I Dream of Jeannie herself, Miss Barbara Eden. Next to me was Mr. Scott Schwartz. No, not Bat Boy and Stephen Schwartz’s Scott Schwartz, but Scott Schwartz, former wrestler, and portrayer of “Bruiser” in Ocean’s 11. Next to him was Mr. Rex Reason, star of This Island Earth. Mr. Kevin (Body Snatcher) McCarthy was nearby. I must say our very own Miss Susan Gordon was a big hit and sold many signed photographs of herself. It was a long day, but our little corner of the room was very irreverent and we did have quite a few chuckles.
Later that night Susan and I went to a party of people she knew when she was a child star. Most of the people at this party were former child stars, including Mr. Jon Provost, Mr. Paul Peterson, the girl who played “Margaret” on Dennis The Menace, Flip Mark, Stanley Livingston and, you won’t believe it, that wonderful Scout Finch, Miss Mary Badham herself. It was fun and we had good food to boot. Yes, we all put on our boots and we booted the food around. It was most amusing. The Livingstons have a dog named Mochie or Mopey or Moppy or Sloppy or something and this dog was so unfriendly it was mind boggling. Yes, minds were boggled. It either ignored you or snapped at you. I was chatting with Flip Mark’s twenty-one year old daughter, Jennifer, and I suggested we go kick Mochie or Mopey or Moppy or Sloppy in the head and give it brain damage. That would teach that dog a lesson in manners, wouldn’t it? But, we were nice and we didn’t, even though Mochie or Mopey or Moppy or Sloppy kept snapping away as the evening wore on. We did have actual Mochie for dessert. It apparently is ice cream in a won ton or something, but it was so disgusting and gelatinous and grotesque I almost vomited on the table after biting into the “skin”.
I’ll have a full report for you on day two… oops, I did it again. I’ll have a full report for you on the second day of the show. I did meet one of our dear readers, a lurker out there in the dark, and that was fun. He promised he would start posting and we hope he will.
Well, I believe it is time for us all to click on the Unseemly Button below because I must make haste because soon it will be show time.
We’re going to be doing a Benjamin Kritzer signing in Las Vegas in early September. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Do stay glued to your computer screens for the latest updates in terms of signings – we’re just starting to make those plans now and we’re going to do as many as we can. I can say that there will definitely be a Nudie Musical signing in New York at Footlight Records fairly soon – so I hope all East Coast dear readers will come down and say hello and have some cheese slices and ham chunks. Today, day one… oops, there I’ve gone and done it again – today we didn’t have any cheese slices or ham chunks but we did have some of Cissy Wechter’s delicious Bundt cake. Can someone tell me what that stupid “d” is doing in that word? Bundt. Look at that word, it just lies there like so much fish just daring us to even question why it is spelled like that. Feh, I say. Feh, and feh again.
Well, I must prepare for day two… oops, damn them, damn them all to hell I’ve done it again – well, I must prepare for the second day of the show. I must put on my colored tights and pantaloons and parade myself in front of all the various and sundried fans and collectors of ephemera. I must be witty, urbane – I must glitter and be gay, I must sparkle, Neely, sparkle. Today’s topic of discussion: Oh, you know – it’s free-for-all day. As Mr. Cole Porter put it, Anything Goes. Talk about the weather. Talk about Paris. Talk about Memphis in June. Talk about Moonlight in Vermont. Talk about any fershluganah thing you want, only talk, talk, talk. We are mere inches away from beating May, inches away from June, June, June (that is three Junes) being our best month ever here at haineshisway.com. I’ll check back after day two… oops, dad blast it, it just keeps coming out that way – I’ll check back after I get home from the second day of the show. Post away, my pretties. I am adding an addendum to these here notes, dear readers. I’ve always wanted to add an addendum and by gum and by golly, now I am. In Unseemly Comment number two from our wonderful dear reader, William F. Orr, there are some plot spoilers for Benjamin Kritzer. If you haven’t read it yet, you might want to skip his post. That said, his post made me very happy indeed.