Well, dear readers, here we are on a fine Thursday, ready to answer your excellent questions of yesterday. Yesterday was another busy day, with much running around, talking on the phone and opening some brand spanking new products that arrived. I got a Nudie Musical clock, a Nudie Musical car mug and another Nudie Musical golf shirt. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? I also listened to Mr. John Williams’ soundtrack to Minority Report, which I enjoyed. I’d read on the Internet that this was a quite atonal Williams score, unlike most that he’s written. As usual, these young Internet wags know not from whence they speak – this is John Williams doing what John Williams does, and it actually sounds like a second cousin to A.I. at times, which is fine by me since I think A.I. is a fine score indeed.
I also listened to the Original Cast Recording of Two Gentleman of Verona, which has been issued on CD by Decca. My first complaint is on the cover, where it says “A Decca Broadway Cast Album”. Well, excuse me for living, but Two Gentleman of Verona was most certainly not a Decca Broadway Cast Album – it was issued on Atlantic Records. Yes, Decca Broadway now owns it, but I find it just a wee bit reprehensible that they rewrite history in this fashion. Frankly, I like to rewrite history in another fashion, for example, khaki pants and a Nudie Musical golf shirt, with a leopard-skin dickie. Decca Broadway has been doing this “A Decca Broadway Cast Album” thing for quite some time – putting their name on other labels’ albums and it rankles me every time I see it. Look at me – I am totally rankled. Rankled in a leopard-skin dickie which, of course, is also the name of a fine Meltz and Ernest song, which I will share with you tomorrow. Where was I? Oh, yes, Two Gentleman of Verona, “Not a Decca Broadway Original Cast Album”. My second complaint is the contents of the album. This is simply one of the worst scores ever written for a musical. It’s truly, mind-bogglingly awful. I do remember thinking the production was fun when I saw it, but to think that this thing won Best Musical over Follies, well, it’s enough to rankle you and make you want to wear a leopard-skin dickie. And the singing on this album – it gives caterwauling a whole new meaning. At least the road company of the show had Larry Kert and Stockard Channing. The people on this “Not a Decca Broadway Original Cast Album” are beyond repair and that includes the frequently off-pitch Raul Julia. Recommended only to people who like canker sores.
What am I, Ken Mandelbaum all of a sudden? I think I may have given a wrong impression, Gosford Park-wise, since several people told me to go back and watch it from the beginning. What happened was, I put on the DVD, watched the credits and then fell asleep. I awoke forty-five minutes later – however, I didn’t start watching the movie from that point, I went back to the credits and watched. I’m still only forty minutes into the film, and I’m sure I’ll enjoy the rest of it when I watch it this evening.
Well, let us not tarry or dally further. Let us get to your excellent questions which I will answer without being rankled, although I will still wear a leopard-skin dickie whilst answering them. So, let us all click on the Unseemly Button below without further delay.
Have we all clicked on the Unseemly Button without further delay? Do you think “further delay” is feeling left out? Well, never mind, we have questions to answer and by gum and by golly we are going to answer them.
Philip Crosby asks how does a record producer or label go about getting the rights to a cast album. It varies, of course. If a show is smelling like a hit, labels usually attend readings and workshops and try to wrap up the rights early on. However, in these more cautious times, deals are made later down the line. Also, most contracts have an “out” clause which enables the label to get out of the deal if the show gets really bad reviews and looks like it’s going to tank. Sometimes the producers of the show court the label (or labels) trying to get a deal. When I began my journey in 1993, not much Broadway was being recorded and virtually almost no off-Broadway. I’d like to think I helped bring theater music back to CD – and just a few short years after I started, suddenly every label was firmly in the cast album business, and things that were easy to get suddenly weren’t. Off-Broadway albums usually happen because the producer or author courts a label, and they may even end up paying for some of it. Sometimes that even happens with a Broadway album, for example, BMG paid only a tiny portion of the recording budget for Parade, and a few other shows like it.
Ron Pulliam is attempting to beef up his Broadway on CD collection and asks for suggestions for two of his favorite composers, Mr. Jule Styne and Mr. Charles Strouse. First of all, are you sure you want to beef up the collection when you might be better off porking up the collection or even vealing up the collection? Now, I’m pretty certain you have the classics for these gentlemen – Gypsy and Bye Bye Birdie. For Styne, the Bells Are Ringing OCR is a must, as is Do Re Mi, Sugar (one of my guiltiest pleasures, despite its deficiencies), and mostly anything else. Even his flops have good things in them. As for Strouse, Rags is an absolute must, a brilliant score. Also, All American has nice things, and Applause is really fun. Annie is a terrific theater score and even Annie Warbucks has some cute things.
Donna says that it seems I’ve been an Internet column writer for some time now. What are the other websites I’ve written for? Why do I do it? To amuse myself? To meet new people? To practice writing? The only other website I’ve written an actual column for was sondheim.com, where I wrote One from Column A under the byline The Real A. I began writing that on a dare from the bitch-slapping Mr. Mark Bakalor, and the damn thing caught on so fast and became such a success, with thousands of readers each week, that it just became a blast to do. That column was a once-a-week affair, and was very lengthy. I can tell you that if it wasn’t for that column I probably would never have written my novel. Because I was doing a faux biography (Miss Meryle Secrest was writing The Real A: A Life) I was able to put down some things from my childhood that I always wanted to write about, and having those few things really helped me decide to write the book. In other words, it was like a test-run. So, why do I write BK’s Notes II? Well, I’m sure most of you know why I began doing it, but it has evolved beyond that and it’s just genuinely fun to do and I just like the idea of our little haineshisway.com family. I don’t really do it to amuse myself, or to meet new people, although I have loved getting to know our regular denizens, and I certainly don’t do it to practice writing, although I must say it does keep the brain fertile. There are times when doing it daily is a chore, but when I commit to something I commit and anyone who knows anything about me knows that.
Craig begins his usual plethora of questions with: What is my favorite animated musical? Oh, I suppose either The Little Mermaid or Beauty and the Beast. What are my favorite sequels and do I think any of them surpass the original and are there any that should never have been made? I generally don’t care for sequels (except in literature), but I suppose The Godfather II leaps out as the best ever done. I liked the Star Trek movie that took place in San Francisco better than the original. I think The Empire Strikes Back is excellent and right up there with Star Wars. Ones that should never have been made? Grease 2, The Two Jakes (the sequel to Chinatown), the Poltergeist sequels (all horrid) and many others I can’t think of right now. On rare occasions there have been musical theater sequels (Annie Warbucks) – what is my opinion on trying to do a stage sequel? I think it’s a lesson in futility. When in Vegas, do I visit the Mandalay Bay. No, I have never been to the Mandalay Bay, although I’ve driven past it. Do I like the circus? I’ve only been once, when I was invited by my pal Eric Michael Gillette, who was, at the time, the singing Ringmaster. Unfortunately for me, Mr. Gillette had the clown bring me up for the audience participation routine. But I certainly enjoyed seeing the acts and I thought it was fun. Did I ever get one of those flip-up lights that swung around? I have no idea what such a thing is so I suppose the answer would be no. Where do I work best? Anywhere, really, but right now I write on my kitchen table. Well, not actually on the table itself, that would be unseemly. But that’s where my brand spanking new handy-dandy laptop computer resides. But I’ve also written in hotel rooms, planes and many other places. Do I have any particular rituals when it comes to writing or a particular way I celebrate the completion of a project? Other than an endless supply of Diet Coke, no, although I do like silence when I write. I can’t even remember how I celebrated when I finished Benjamin Kritzer. I do know that when I got to a certain plot point I began to blubber like an idiot and that continued for days. I think because I’d really written most of the last chapter quite early on, that I just felt a great release when I was approaching it. I just felt an amazing sense that I’d really accomplished something. I put it away for a week and then read it and by gum and by golly if I wasn’t pretty pleased with the result. Were there any of my producing projects that took longer than I’d anticipated or any that were faster? I remember that Christiane Noll’s A Broadway Love Story took eight months, which was very unusual, but it was a very hard album to get just right. I also remember Brent Barrett’s first album taking a bit longer than usual because I didn’t feel the arrangements they were sending me were good enough. And Liz Callaway’s albums always take a bit longer than others. The cast albums usually happen very very quickly – I think from the time I made the deal on The King and I to the time I recorded it to the time it was released was exactly one month. What cell phone service do I use? Verizon, which seems fine. Is there a joke that I tell that always gets a laugh or always makes me laugh when telling it. You will find the answer in Benjamin Kritzer. Finally, what CD is in my car right now? John Williams’ Minority Report.
Sandra the Plaid asks if Guy Haines is Jewish. It is hard to know what Guy Haines is, in every way. Certainly there are times he acts Jewish, but then there are times when he acts Protestant and I’ve even seen him act Presbyterian. But he has been known to say “Oy” when trying to get out of bed in the morning.
Kerry has a few questions: On the recordings of Guy Haines that feature whistling, does Mr. Haines do his own whistling? All right, I will finally admit the truth: Guy Haines couldn’t whistle if his life depended on it – I am the whistler on any album that I’ve produced that features whistling and that includes the cast album of The King and I, where I whistled for Donna Murphy in I Whistle a Happy Tune (Miss Murphy doesn’t know from whistling and she was “dubbed” in the show by a chorus member). Kerry has an autographed copy of Haines His Way and asks if Mr. Haines personally autographed it? Yes, because I sat there and made certain that he did. Kerry asks if he can take my very own self to Musso and Frank or Dan Tana’s next time he’s in town. Absolutely – I would love to see any Hainsie/Kimlet if they’re visiting. When I arrange a song do I “hear” the orchestration in my head and do I give that input to the orchestrator? I don’t really like to give too much to the orchestrator because I’m usually more interested to see what they’ll bring to the table. However, I do occasionally hear specific instruments for certain things and I certainly pass that along if I feel strongly about it. And sometimes I know that I want something to be just strings and piano, or just rhythm and a horn, or the entire band but no reeds, etc. etc. etc. (that is three etcs). And my orchestrators all know that I am very fond of xylophone and bells, so they always make sure I get my fill. When I want to use someone for a recording and I haven’t met them do I just call them up? Sure, I am pretty reckless that way. I have no shame, actually and will call anyone. That’s what I did at the very beginning, when I didn’t really know anyone. I just started seeing shows and I’d go backstage and talk to singers I liked. What is the usual response when I call people I don’t know? Well, I’ve never had anyone turn me down – and most think it would be fun to join our merry troupe of singers. Finally, Kerry would like to know which Joanie Sommers album I produced. It was a Jerome Kern album for my label Bay Cities. I think it was called A Fine Romance.
Arnold M. Brockman assumes I saw Maze the movie with Rob Morrow and Laura Linney – what did I think of it? I, in fact, did not see Maze the movie with Rob Morrow, Laura Linney or anyone else, so I cannot speak of it. Do I like Mr. Johann Sebastian Bach? Why, yes I do, especially Sleeper’s Awake or whatever the hell it’s called. Do I have many relatives? I have a few left but not as many as I used to. Am I an only child and if not what are my siblings up to. I have a brother who is three years older than I – he lives in Hawaii and directs corporate videos every now and then. What does my daughter do? Well, she currently resides with her brand spanking new husband in Iowa, and she works with computers for some company or other.
JMK has a video question about aspect ratios and open matte transfers. Can I explain what an open matte transfer is and why, if a DVD is pan and scan that means you can see the boom mics, etc. The usual aspect ratio for theaters in the United States is 1:85:1. The standard 4:3 television set is somewhere around 1:33:1. So, there are two ways to deal with transferring a film “flat” so that it fills the entire TV screen (talking about standard TVs here, not widescreen): One, you can pan and scan the 1:85:1 image, usually blowing the film up a bit and cutting off the sides – or, if the film was not shot with a hard 1:85:1 matte in the camera, you can just transfer the entire 1:37:1 frame, in other words removing the 1:85:1 matte that theaters would have used. That, not pan and scan, is where you have the problem of exposed mics and tops of sets. For example, all previous video releases of Nudie Musical were open matte, and because of that you could see over the tops of certain sets, there was too much headroom in shots, and in one of the film’ most memorable scenes one of the funniest gags in the picture was ruined because the bottom of the frame was exposed. Scope pictures are something wholly other, and that’s where pan and scan (filling the flat TV) really is infuriating, because you’re losing 43% of the filmed image. I hope this makes sense – if not, ask some more questions and I’ll try to be clearer.
Michael Shayne asks if I think West Side Story and A Chorus Line could be successfully revived on Broadway with completely new choreography? That is a toughie, but of the two I’d say West Side Story would have the better chance. Do I have a favorite “private” recording and why is it my favorite? Well, I have the little demo thing they did for Smile, which is fun to have – and I have a couple of different demos for Time and Again, whose score I’m very fond of. For those who preordered Nudie DVDs would it be possible to have the other cast members who are attending the signing at Laserblazer also sign the DVD? Well, sure, if you don’t mind waiting a little longer to get it. If they arrive Friday or Saturday, my plan was to ship on Monday. But if anyone would like to do as Mr. Shayne suggests, just e-mail me and I’ll hold those copies until the signing. Michael Shayne occasionally finds it hard to enjoy shows that his friends do (that his friends are involved in) – he tends to be overly critical because he is a show business person. Does this happen to me and if so how do I correct it? I try to go to everything simply to enjoy. If I know the people involved and if they’re interested in my opinion I give it to them, warts and all, although always always in a positive way. I hate negativity of any sort.
Td asks if either Guy or I watch Buffy? I can’t speak for Guy, but I have never seen the show. However, as you all know, I am buffy and toned with abs and bunsy of steel. Do I have a favorite vampire on film? Well, two: the luscious Barbara Steele in Mr. Mario Bava’s masterpiece, Black Sunday, and the unbelievable, amazing Yutte Stensgard in Lust for a Vampire. Strange Love indeed. Have I read any of Anne Rice’s Vampire Chronicles? Nope.
S. Woody White asks what films or stage musicals do I feel have absolutely romantic scores? Well, for film, I’m very partial to Vertigo, if one considers that romantic, and also The Accidental Tourist and Somewhere in Time (very very romantic), as well as Mr. Michel Legrand’s stunningly beautiful music for The Umbrellas of Cherbourg – and many others, obviously. Romantic scores for the stage are a harder call, but I think A Little Night Music falls into that category, and so does The Most Happy Fella.
Freedunit, who is trying to outdo Craig, question-wise, asks the following: Where did I obtain the M&M caramel candies? Hmmm. It’s been quite a while, but I think someone gave them to me – I can’t really remember though. I don’t think they’ve been widely available. If I had the opportunity to appear on Big Brother or Survivor would I and if so why? No. No. No. Not of interest, can’t watch either show, hate reality television with a passion. Have I ever worked with Pamela Blair or Patti Lupone? Not with Pamela, but indirectly with Patti when we (Varese) picked up her last album for distribution. I didn’t really have anything to do with it, other than giving them some feedback about the mastering job (which they redid, thankfully). Can I suggest a good project for Patti and Bobby Lupone? How about Dreamgirls? Am I going to the Sondheim Celebration. Nope. If I were going, would I also go see The Little Foxes with Elizabeth Ashley, Keir Dullea and Jonathan Hadary? No, that sounds like sheer unmitigated torture to me. Much like the last time I saw The Little Foxes, with Miss Elizabeth Taylor. What living musical theater star of old remains capable of recreating and performing a signature role? Well, I’m sure Stritch has some Joanne left in her. Certainly Joel Grey could still do the Emcee (or maybe not). I think Channing has played her last Dolly, so who’s left? Not many, I’m afraid. Bernadette could still play the Witch or Dot and Mandy could still do Georges, but they’re newer, aren’t they? Freedunit has friends in Chicago who say there is nothing of interest to do in LA. No golf, no interesting museums, etc. Well, they are mistaken – there is plenty to do here – some interesting theater, some historic movie palaces, the original Disneyland, plenty of golf, nice museums, plenty of unique and interesting shopping and plenty of excellent dining. If an actor is asked to audition earlier than expected is it ever acceptable and the right thing to do for a performer to say that he/she is not ready? If the performer really feels they need the extra time, sure, by all means say it. If it comes down to audition now or forget it – audition, or if you really feel strongly that you’ll make a fool out of yourself, leave. If there were a Broadway musical role that I liked and thought I could do would I audition? I would love to appear in the right role in a Broadway musical – I’ve said that loud and I’ve said it often – but auditioning at this stage, after having been out of it for so long, would probably be too terrifying for me. However, I never say never, and I did take part in a workshop/reading of a Wright and Forrest musical called Betting on Bertie some years ago. So, who knows? Freedunit asks what I think of the role of Herbie (presumably for me) in Gypsy – I’d play Herbie – I like that character a lot, and I don’t think they cast it well in the revivals. So, if someone wants to suggest me to Bernadette, please feel free. Spielberg recently said he’d like to direct a musical. What are my thoughts on the near musicalization of 1941 and Hook? Neither one of them work the way they are, really, so maybe songs would have helped. What motion picture musical should Spielberg direct? I can’t really think of anything he’d be suited for, really. Maybe 110 In the Shade, as he seems to have a real feel for Americana. Lincoln Center’s Avery Fisher Hall – renovate or rebuild? I would rebuild and renovate were it up to me. What celebrity rendered me most star-struck upon meeting? I don’t usually go there, but I’d say I was awestruck meeting my close personal friend, Mr. Stephen Sondheim, and I was pretty star struck meeting Miss Lauren Bacall.
William F. Orr has a couple of questions about Debbie Gravitte’s MGM Album. Whose idea was the dog bark at the end of Treat Me Rough and whose dog was it? It was my idea, and it was the pianist, Michael Orland’s dog, Tina. Whose concept was the Theme from 2001? I’m afraid it was mine. In fact, Debbie and her musical director kept thinking I was joking, but finally realized that I was dead serious. I hummed them what I was thinking of. Finally, we ended up doing the track with Steve Orich, who created the whole thing in his home studio. We recorded the vocal in bits and pieces, sans accompaniment, which was hilarious to hear. Then Steve put the whole thing in his computer and manipulated it, and rather brilliantly left in Debbie’s comments. The only thing I changed was the placement of some of the comments. It’s a great track and Debbie now takes full credit for it.
Laura asks how my parents reacted to my acting career. Were they pleased? Proud? Horrified? Did they live to see any of my success? My parents did allow me to go to acting school and take dance lessons, so I guess they weren’t too horrified, although I think they really would have preferred if I’d been a lawyer (like all Jewish parents). Ultimately they were happy because I started working in television and they liked telling their friends that I appeared on television. My mother died in 1973, so she really only saw the first three years of my career. My father died in 1978, so he was around for Nudie Musical, which he was very proud of.
Lolita asks what I think of opera in general, especially in English. I do like several American and English operas, including Mr. Robert Ward’s The Crucible, Mr. Previn’s A Streetcar Named Desire, Mr. Jack Beeson’s Hello, Out There, Mr. Gershwin’s Porgy and Bess, Mr. Blitzstein’s Regina, Mr. Douglas Moore’s The Ballad of Baby Doe, Mr. Herrmann’s Wuthering Heights, Mr. Copland’s stunning The Tender Land, Mr. Howard Hanson’s Merry Mount, and Mr. William Walton’s Troilus and Cressida. There are others but my brain is not functioning right now. Of the standard repertoire I like most of Puccini.
Well, my goodness gracious I do blather on, don’t I. I hope that none of my answers rankled any of you causing you to put on a leopard-skin dickie. I really must get these here notes posted and be on my merry way to do the things I do. I hope you found something interesting in my answers to your excellent questions. Today’s topic of discussion: If you could play any role in the musical theater, what would that role be and why? Post away, my pretties, and post plentifully so that we will be the most popular site on all the Internet.