Well, dear readers, I have no idea if these here notes will ever go up because I cannot connect to the ridiculous AOL, it simply freezes every single time I get on to the home page. I have tried calling AOL but cannot, of course, get through. It’s not the access number because I’ve changed that several times and have even tried the 800 number. I have already had a severe meltdown over this, because I have an important phone meeting at noon and the notes for said meeting reside on AOL which, by the way (BTW, in Internet lingo) is frozen. Yes, Virginia, you can call AOL Bird’s Eye because it is frozen. Frozen, frozen, frozen (that is three frozens). Couldn’t be more frozen than AOL if you lived on the North Pole.
Well, in happier news, I received the Nudie Musical DVDs, and I actually managed to get all of your preordered copies to the post office yesterday, so they are on their merry way unless, that is, you asked me to hold your copy to get other cast member’s autographs. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Last night I was working on the special surprise that will come to all those who ordered their very own copies of Benjamin Kritzer from haineshisway.com. I suppose I shall now tell you exactly what that surprise is, because why should I keep such a thing from you any longer? In the book, there are several song quotes – so, I enlisted the aid of my close personal friend, Mr. Guy Haines and my other close personal friend, Mr. Grant Geissman, and we have recorded a mini-CD of five of the songs that are quoted within my very own novel. We are, of course, down to the wire in getting it finished in time to actually ship with the books (which should be here on Wednesday) but I have every hope that we, in fact, will finish and that everything will be fine and dandy and also dandy and fine. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Music to Read Benjamin Kritzer By. I won’t reveal what the five songs are, that part we’ll keep a surprise.
Have I mentioned that AOL is frozen? Does Earthlink freeze? Because, frankly, other than the convenience, I’ve just about had it with dear sweet frozen AOL. I even just set up my other laptop and tried from there, and the same thing happens. Aohwell, we’ll just have to wait and see if this situation rights itself soon. According to a friend, it certainly was working earlier this morning.
This sort of thing is so annoying I can’t even think straight. I am now thinking crooked because of this sort of thing. Well, there is nothing to do but click on that Unseemly Button below, even though I currently can’t see the Unseemly Button below because dear sweet AOL is frozen, chilled, iced, frosted. Well, let’s click anyway, and whilst clicking let’s send a haineshisway.com collective bitch-slap to AOL.
Luckily, today’s notes are short notes – well, they’re no notes if AOL doesn’t defrost. In any case, yesterday I promised you the Meltz and Ernest song Rankled in a Leopard-skin Dickie, so here it is.
RANKLED IN A LEOPARD-SKIN DICKIE
Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest
When I am happy I like to wear nice clothing
But when I’m loathing
I like to wear weird stuff.
So, look at what I’m wearing, baby and maybe
You’ll see…
That as of now, I’ve really had enough!
I am
Rankled in a leopard-skin dickie,
Yes, I know a dickie’s just a bit sickie.
But when I’m rankled then I just become picky
About the wardrobe I wear
Not to mention my hair
I am rankled in a leopard-skin dickie,
So I’ll make this little ditty a quickie.
I am rankled ’cause you gave me a hicky
And so I covered the hicky
With the leopard-skin dickie
Anger brewed and then I stewed
And now I’m standing in the nude
With my hair all akimbo and my leopard-skin dickie
I’m sure that you might find this rude
But I am rankled in a leopard-skin dickie
Because the hicky has ruined my mood!
And I am rankled!
The hicky has ruined my mood!
You little dickens!
That hicky has ruined my mood!
Isn’t that a fine Meltz and Ernest song? I do wish you could hear the music because Meltz so perfectly captures the Meltzdown that the lyric conveys.
I wonder if AOL is still frozen? Here it is, eleven o’clock and these here notes are still not up. I suppose I shall go check and see. If you are reading these here notes, then AOL has unfrozen itself.
Don’t forget, we have a brand spanking new handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest tomorrow, and Donald has a brand spanking new handy-dandy radio show going up Sunday afternoon – and the special guest on that show will be none other than my very own self. We’re doing a special show all about Nudie Musical and the new DVD, and also a bit about Benjamin Kritzer – we intend to have quite a bit of fun, so do tune in. I may even read an excerpt from the book.
Well, I must see what is what, I must take the day, I must do the things I do and try not to have any more meltdowns today. Today’s topic of discussion (if AOL stops being frozen, that is): If you could sup with one person that you’ve never met before, who would that person be and why would you wish to sup with them?