Well, dear readers, here we are on a beautiful Sunday morning in Sunny Los Angeles, California. I’m about to head off with my pal Grant Geissman to attend a Butterfield’s Auction. I’m not buying today, but he might be and he hates to buy alone or not have an advisor with him. I shall be that very advisor – and I shall advise until the cows come home.
Yesterday, I taped this week’s radio show, which will be up this afternoon. We had a lot of fun doing it, although, as usual, it was in the morning so both Donald and I are endlessly clearing our throats. The first half of the show we talk about Benjamin Kritzer and I even read a couple of passages from the book, and I read them rather poorly as I recall. The second half of the show is about the Nudie DVD and we played songs from the included soundtrack CD and talked all about the movie. Do tune in and give it a listen.
Yesterday, I was asked if I had a list of the albums I’ve produced. I was going to put it in today’s notes, but apparently, for reasons I don’t understand, when I copied all my Word files over to this brand spanking new computer, that one didn’t see fit to come along. That one just stayed behind of its own volition, whatever the hell that is. So, I will copy it over later this evening and put it in tomorrow’s notes. In the meantime, dear reader Michael Shayne printed a fairly complete list which you can find in yesterday’s posts. It does include a lot of things that I don’t include on my list – i.e. things I executive produced or oversaw, and a few of my Bay Cities’ albums, which I never count (I don’t really know why – I did produce them, after all – it just seems that my real producing life started with Unsung Sondheim and Liz Callaway at Varese – the other albums, to me, were rehearsals). Michael’s list is missing just a handful of albums of the things I’ve produced, and quite a few of the things I “supervised”, which include many soundtracks at both Bay Cities and Varese. However, I was amazed that the list was as complete and accurate as it was.
Last night, Guy Haines and I went over to Grant Geissman’s studio and we recorded the vocals for Music to Read Benjamin Kritzer By. We should be finished mixing them by Monday morning, and I’m hopeful I can get them duplicated that very day, and get these here books and CD surprise shipped first thing Tuesday. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Have you ever had a day when you felt like a member of The Three Stooges? Today, for example, I’m in a Moe kind of mood. I just want to go poke some people in the eyes and slap some people in the head and say pithy and piquant things like, “Why you” and “Why I oughta”. Yesterday, I was in more of a Curly mood, feeling very nyuk nyuk and smart alecky. When the AOL freeze happened I was definitely in a Larry mood, pulling out my hair. Don’t you feel that The Three Stooges are an example of life itself? They were quite daring, you know, and very ahead of their time. When such things were taboo, for example, they were sleeping three in a bed. And haven’t there been days when you’ve wanted to take a hammer and crown someone? Yes, I feel we’ve all had Three Stooges moments, and I feel we are the better for it. Why am I writing about The Three Stooges? Sometimes these things just pop out and I have no control or power to stop them. And even if I did have control or power to stop them, I would just say “nyuk, nyuk, nyuk” to said control or power.
Well, let’s all click on the Unseemly Button below before we are bitch-slapped from here to eternity by our very own Mr. Mark Bakalor who, when he is in his bitch-slapping mode, is Moe Personified.
Perhaps I’ll poke Mr. Grant Geissman in the eye today, whilst I am in my Moe mood. Was Five Guys Named Moe a musical about The Three Stooges? Was One Moe Time a musical about The Three Stooges? Was Oklahoma!, whose leading character is Curly, a musical about The Three Stooges? I think Curly would have made a fine Curly, don’t you? I can just hear him now, crooning People Will Say We’re In Love Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk.
I have been on an onion bagel binge. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I have been on an onion bagel binge and have been eating onion bagels daily. Sometimes with cream cheese, sometimes with cream cheese and a soupcon of lox. That reminds me of:
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Locksmith.
Locksmith who?
Locksmith bagels.
We do not allow groaning here at haineshisway.com. By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo), the punch line must be read with a slight Jewish accent. I know there are good knock knock jokes but apparently I don’t know them. I do know some good nyuk nyuk jokes though. Actually, I don’t know from jokes at all. Some people know jokes and some don’t. I have never known jokes. I write comedy sometimes, even punch lines, I suppose, but never jokes. Oh, I lie, I wrote one joke once – here it is:
Moses was feeling quite ill one day – he had a terrible headache. So, he went to Temple and he prayed to the Lord – “Lord, I have this terrible headache, plus I’m a little nauseous. What shall I do, Lord?” And the Lord said, “Why don’t you go up to Mount Sinai and take two tablets”.
I didn’t say it was a good joke. Well, dear readers, I must put on my Auction Advisor Clothing and be off. I must look for people to poke in the eye, for I am in a Moe mood and woe to the people who look at me askance today. Today’s topic of discussion: Of course today is Sunday, free-for-all day, the day you get to discuss whatever your collective Hainsie/Kimlet hearts desire. But I feel you should also post some knock knock jokes, too. Or some nyuk nyuk jokes. Post away, my pretties.