Well, dear readers, apparently the bulk of the books have arrived at their various and sundried destinations. I do hope that when you’ve finished reading it you will post your thoughts here and elsewhere, just as Mr. Craig Brockman did on this very day.
I had several conversations during the day yesterday, good conversations all. I love having several good conversations during the day, don’t you dear readers? And will the result of these good conversations lead to good things? Well, as Mr. Cole Porter once said, You Never Know. I have a very busy day today. For example, this morning I am going to an art exhibit. My friend Debby’s daughter (seventeen years of age) has some paintings being shown in a gallery in Pasadena. She’s a very talented young girl and I, in fact, was the first person to ever purchase a painting from her – when she was thirteen. I own two of her paintings and they hang in my very own home. Then, after that, I shall be getting my hair trimmed by Mrs. Grant Geissman. Then I shall be going to a birthday dinner for my friend, Mr. David Wechter. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Well, you won’t believe it, dear readers. I didn’t believe it and there it was in front of my own eyes. I just went to amazon.com and The First Nudie Musical DVD sales rank is 146. Yes, Virginia, we just broke 150 as I was so hoping we would. Since the numbers seem to change hourly, I have no idea how long that will last, but let no one say we didn’t break 150, because if no one says that I will bat no one over the head, the ungrateful ort. It’s a very exciting time right now, I must say. I must and I did.
Well, we’ve had an awful lot of questions and therefore we have an awful lot of answers. I think we should get to them right now, otherwise you’ll be reading these here notes until the cows come home. So, why don’t we all just click on the Unseemly Button below and see what answers I’ve come up with to your excellent questions.
Well, let’s get right to your excellent questions, shall we? We shall.
Ron Pulliam asks (in reference to my dream in yesterday’s notes) what is a telecine machine? A telecine machine is that big old machine that does film-to-video transfers.
William E. Lurie has some Nudie Musical questions: Which song did Debbie Gravitte sing (she’s not in the film, but she does sing for two count them two of the actors)? First and foremost, Debbie sings the vocal for Lesbian, Butch, Dyke (the actress in the film is Nancy Chadwick). Debbie also sings the first chorus of Honey, What’cha Doin’ Tonight? (for dancer Susan Buckner). A tape that Mr. Lurie had of the film included the Plumber scene, which is an extra on the DVD – why was this in the version he taped? Because Paramount inadvertently left the scene in the film, even though they’d been told to cut it. All the prints were recalled immediately and the scene was literally snipped from each of the theatrical prints. However, it never got cut out of either the camera negative or the CRI (the internegative from which prints are struck) – so, when a new transfer was made for those early cable showings, the scene was in when it should have been out. Now it is out, although still viewable as an extra.
Ben asks if the recent discussions and decisions regarding payment of royalties by Internet radio shows will have any effect on us here at haineshisway.com. From what I’ve been told, no, this will not affect us one or two whits.
Arnold M. Brockman asks if the arrangement of Red Red Robin on the Benjamin Kritzer CD was done by Grant or me. The arrangement is all mine, the orchestration is all his. Did I ever come in contact with Mr. Richard Rodgers? No, sadly, I didn’t. It would have been swell to meet and even work with him. Did I ever consider doing a CD of great songs from flop musicals? Is this a trick question? I think that’s what the Unsung Musicals series is, unless I am misunderstanding something, which is, of course, entirely possible. How will I be spending the 4th of July? I’ve received a couple of invitations to parties, but I normally don’t like to drive on wild holidays so I’ll probably just stay home and do the pudding dance whilst I Richard Widmark’s films have not yet made it to DVD. I must confess I have not given that much thought, but you are correct. We do have Alvarez Kelly and Coma at least. If I were to start another record label (you never know, as Mr. Cole Porter has said) do I have projects that I would love to do? But of course. But I shall keep them to myself at this time, but when and if I’m ready to reveal such things, you dear Hainsies/Kimlets will be the first to know.
Elan mentions hearing a fragment of Sondheim’s I Remember Sky in the arrangement of You’re Just In Love on Christiane Noll’s A Broadway Love Story. Was Christiane supposed to originally sing that song on the album and if so where would it fit in the story? No, it wasn’t ever going to be part of the album. It’s just me having a musical joke – in other words, she sings “I hear singing but there’s no one there (silence – then The Twilight Zone music), then “I smell blossoms but the trees are bare (then the I Remember Sky quote which is the music that accompanies the lyric “bare as coat racks spread like broken umbrellas”). I love doing musical jokes and you’ll find a lot of them in my arrangements, some obvious and some so subtle you really have to hunt for them.
Robert Armin would like a list of the titles for the soundtrack selections from the Nudie Musical documentary. Tracks one through eleven are the actual film soundtrack – track 12: The First Nudie Musical, track 13: The Lights and the Smiles – track 14: Orgasm – track 15: Lesbian, Butch, Dyke – track 16: Dancing Dildos – track 17: Perversion – track 18: Honey, What’cha Doin’ Tonight? – track 19: Let ‘Em Eat Cake – track 20: I Don’t Have to Hide Anymore. I think that’s all of them. Do I have a copy of Woman of the Year floating around that Mr. Armin could purchase? No, I just have my one little lonely file copy. Why did I never make an album with Miss Annette O’Toole, who sings The Lights and the Smiles? Well, it never came up really, although I would have done one in a heartbeat. She’s really wonderful. Did Annette receive billing on the original print of Nudie or did we add that credit for the DVD. She received billing on all prints of the film, including the one used for the transfer.
S. Woody White has this question: Besides those created by Dame Agatha, what other fictional detectives do I like? Well, I’m very very partial to Mr. Lew Archer, from Mr. Ross Macdonald’s great series of Archer books – most especially, The Chill, which is one of the best detective novels ever written, in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo). I also like Mr. Philip Marlowe, the creation of Raymond Chandler, and my favorite in his series is an odd choice but I just really like it – The High Window. Then there is the whole marvelous madcap Yellowthread Street gang in William Marshall’s wonderful series.
Michael Shayne has several questions: Do my secret discussions have anything to do with turning The First Nudie Musical into a stage show? Well, as Mr. Cole Porter said, You Never Know. All will be revealed in good time. Oops, “all” just told me it is much too modest to want to be revealed in either good or bad time. Who knew? Who owns the rights for the albums I produced? With the exception of just a handful of titles, I arranged the sale of all my Varese Sarabande masters and so the bulk of my catalog resides where you can presume it resides. What is happening to the Brent Barrett, Klea Blackhurst and Sherman Brothers albums? I’m sure they will all be released in good time. Is Buddy Bregman, the man I did It Don’t Mean a Thing if It Ain’t Got That Swing big band album with, related to actress Tracy Bregman? Yes, he is her very own father. Have I ever considered Amanda McBroom for a solo album? Yes, we chatted about it briefly, we even toyed with doing a Kurt Weill album, but it simply didn’t happen for reasons I can no longer remember. What is my opinion of David Friedman, as songwriter, arranger and producer? I think he’s a good songwriter, a decent arranger, and a fair producer. If Paramount no longer owns the rights to Nudie Musical why is their logo at the beginning of the film? Oh, I just like it, and it was on the print, so we left it. Could the telecine have cleared up the trailer and the cut musical number? I don’t really remember what the trailer looked like but I didn’t think it looked bad – I’ll have to look at it on the DVD. As to the cut musical number – all I had was a Betamax tape of it – awful quality. The cameraman of the film had the reel of film, but couldn’t be bothered to try to find it. Very annoying. And my co-director called me last night and said he’d found some 35mm costume tests! How annoying is that? Guess we’ll save those for the Really Special 51st Anniversary Edition.
Lolita asks when I’ll be doing the Audio Book of Benjamin Kritzer. I hope to be doing it in the next month or so, and when it’s done it will be available right here at haineshisway.com. When will the book be in stores? It’s hard to know which stores will carry it – but it’s available to them in about two weeks. Meanwhile, it’s already listed at barnesandnoble.com and will be available online at amazon and Borders very soon. How do I feel about Carol King? I have always been a fan of Miss Carol King and I like all her albums. How are my books organized? They are in a room I call the “library”, alphabetical by author, by category. Finally, is Benjamin Kritzer available for dates? You bet.
Kerry asks if an orchestrator I’ve worked with ever come up with something so perfect that I had not thought up that I cannot imagine the song any other way? Well, if it’s an orchestration of one of my arrangements, I do pretty much know what I’m going to get, but sometimes I get much more – two that come to mind are Pick Yourself Up from the Guy Haines album, and the medley of Tonight At Eight and Look At That Face from A Broadway Love Story, both by David Siegel – just brilliant work, with all kinds of unexpected orchestral choices. Of course, I couldn’t bear to hear Joey, Joey, Joey in any other form than Alex Rybeck’s great Bacharach-flavored arrangement and orchestration. What are three of my greatest extravagances? Oh, collecting art, buying DVDs and eating excellent meals. What are five guilty pleasures (other than my already mentioned Sugar, the musical)? Well, let’s see – I should think that the score to Smile is a guilty pleasure. I should think that the film Screaming Mimi is a guilty pleasure, and so is the film Night of the Following Day. So are the scores for the musicals A Family Affair and Passion Flower Hotel (All we need is a hammer, a little hammer to break the ice).
William F. Orr asks what I want to be when I grow up or have I decided that growing up isn’t worth the bother? I won’t grow up, I won’t grow up – I think that there is a happy medium between growing up and not growing up and I would like to think I have attained said happy medium. Madame Arcati is also a happy medium. What song typifies my attitude: Marry Me by Kander and Ebb or Live Alone and Like It by my close personal friend, Mr. Stephen Sondheim. The latter right now, although I certainly would have nothing against the former if I met someone worth considering the former with.
Laura asks where was I and what was I doing when Kennedy was assassinated, Elvis died, Challenger exploded and the WTC was attacked? Well, let’s see – I was in high school, on the lunch court when the news about Kennedy broke; we were all sent home and I remember watching the unfolding story on the news for the rest of the day and evening. I honestly don’t remember where I was or what I was doing for Elvis or Challenger. The WTC of last September – I was in bed sleeping and was awakened by a call from Vinnie who told me the world was ending.
Craig has his usual plethora of questions. When did I first “meet” Benjamin Kritzer? I met the fictional BK last May when I embarked on the writing of my very own novel. If I could go back to my childhood, what would I tell my younger self about the man he will grow up to be? Well, that’s like that wonderful Twilight Episode, Walking Distance with Gig Young, isn’t it? I’d tell the young me to watch out for the people who would cause harm – they are not always easy to see, and one tends to sometimes be unaware of things one should be aware of. I would also tell the young me, rather sadly I think, that you can’t trust everyone. When I watch movies at home or in a theater, what goodies do I like to have? Well, buttered popcorn is always nice, as long as it’s real butter. And I like Dots. And Milk Duds. At home I like to eat pasta and/or pizza whilst watching the films. Who makes the best chocolate chip in the world? Oh, I’m afraid I haven’t had a great chocolate chip cookie in forty years. My mother used to make really good ones. When I produce a cast album, how much work and what exactly do I do as a producer to prepare before walking into the studio. A lot, that’s what I do. I see the show a few times. I get a script and tape of the score. I then try to think of how best to capture what they do on stage for the ear, to make the visual aural. That includes figuring out what dialogue to use to tell the story best (without being boring), what cuts to make if the score is too long for one disc, etc. I then have several meetings with authors (if alive) or director and we hammer it all out. I’ve already described what I do in the studio once we start recording. Who would be up to portraying the adult characters in Benjamin Kritzer? That is a very interesting question – and a very difficult one to answer. The book is currently with a couple of movie people, and I suppose if they were to be interested in it as a film, this will be an important topic. Instead of me saying, I’d be more interested in your opinions, after you’ve all read the book. We’ll make that a topic of discussion soon. Are we ahead of May yet? I should know the answer to that very soon. Craig didn’t notice an “art” credit in my book and wants to know if I did the illustrations. The cover illustration is, of course, by the lovely Harvey Schmidt. The three interior illustrations were done by myself at age seven. What recording studio is my favorite and why? I have several favorites – in NY for big projects I like The Hit Factory or Right Track. In Los Angeles, for the big ones I like O’Henry. I like them because they are comfortable, extremely well-run, and the rooms record very well indeed. If I had a time machine and could go anywhere at anytime what and when are some places would I go and why? If I could change my past and future, would I? Does the idea of time travel interest me at all? I often dream of being back in time in the Los Angeles of the forties and fifties. I also dream I buy many copies of Raymond Chandler first editions and first editions of To Kill a Mockingbird, which I get to bring back with me when I return to my own year. There are things in the past I wouldn’t mind changing – I’m sure everyone feels that way. As to the future, well I’d like it to be good and positive and filled with lovely adventures and wonderful people. I’m fascinated by the idea of time travel and have read many many time travel novels.
Freedunit also has a plethora of questions for my very own self. First, he has an Ann Landers question for me: Over or under? Over. Is it bathroom tissue or toilet paper. The latter. Would The First Nudie Musical make a good stage musical? If so, how and where? If not, why? As Mr. Cole Porter said, You Never Know. I can say no more. Who are my favorite playwrights, living and dead? Mr. Albee and Mr. O’Neill. What play have I read most often? I don’t read plays very often, but I suppose I’ve read Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? a fair number of times. What play is most underrated? Well, if they hadn’t had such successful revivals, I would have said either A View From The Bridge, or The Crucible. What do I consider to be the greatest play, both US and ever? Same answer to both questions: A Long Day’s Journey Into Night. Will there ever be an Ask Guy Haines day? Quite possibly, that is a fine idea. Would Guy Haines ever consider a Rodgers and Hart album? I would doubt that Mr. Haines would want to be constrained by one set of songwriters, but as Mr. Cole Porter said, You Never Know. What is the longest recording session or sessions I had for a cast album? The King and I took from 9:00 in the morning to 1:00 in the morning. Plus pickups and fixes the following day. But I think the longest goes to Merrily We Roll Along, which was fourteen hours of one day, and three hours of another. The shortest cast album session was for No Way To Treat a Lady and Cowgirls, both of which took a mere eight hours. Should the Broadway production of Chicago be moved to give way to the Bernadette Peters revival of Gypsy? Well, Chicago has been hogging the Shubert for quite some time, so maybe it’s time for some fresh blood. Is there any hope of recovering the still beautiful Mark Hellinger Theater? As Cole Porter once said, You Never Know. Do I have a recipe for Parisienne cake? No, I buy it I don’t make it. Do either Guy Haines or I cook? Bake? Neither Guy or I bake. I cook, Guy doesn’t know from cooking and can’t even roast a wiener.
Well, I do hope some of these answers were interesting. If I missed any late arriving questions I’ll answer them via post during the day. However, Tom from Oz did ask about ordering the book – it’s quite simple: From the home page, go to the menu bar on the left, click on the Link to New Sections icon (the third and last one) and then click on the Buy Benjamin Kritzer one. I shall return tomorrow with yet more ramblings. Today’s topic of discussion: If they announced a film version of Follies, who would you cast in it?