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July 1, 2002:

A SONG FOR JULY

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, you won’t believe it. I can hardly believe it myself and yet it is true. I know that it’s true because my handy-dandy laptop computer tells me that it’s true – it is July. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Yes, it is July, a time of exciting fireworks and sparkling sparklers and colorful goings and doings, a time of music and mirth and laughter and legs. Well, I can’t put it better than Meltz and Ernest, so let’s just see how they immortalized this very special month, shall we?

A SONG FOR JULY Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest

There are many songs for April
There are many songs for May
June is bustin’ out with songs
You’ll be singing them all day.
All the other months are covered but I’ve discovered
One that’s not…
Yes, I do believe that there is a month
That the songsmiths done forgot…
So, we’re gonna rectify that
‘Cause we don’t know why that
Is…

So, here’s a song for July
A month of music and mirth and laughter and legs
A song for July
With all those sparklers and songs you won’t be down in the dregs
There’s fireworks, parades
There are wieners on the barbecue.
Everything’s color-coordinated
In red, white and blue
It’s true

So, here’s a song for July
A month of dancing and fun and smooching and slaw
A song for July
With all that dancing and fun you’d think there would be a law
There’s swimming in the pool
There’s a party on the patio.
Everyone’s wearing their little swimsuits
And no one feels low
You know

Why should July be slighted
Why should July be put upon?
I think July should be knighted
It’s Sir July from now on.

So, here’s a song for July
A month of romance and love and fondling and corn
A song for July
With all that romance and love we should be blowing the horn
There’s sunshine all day long
People lounge and chat and play
Everything’s lazy and really laid back
The skies are blue and never gray
So keep your April June and May
July is my idea of heaven above
So, here’s a song for July
A lovely song for July
Because the month of July’s
The month I love.

Isn’t that a lovely love of a song for July? Doesn’t that just capture the essence of July in a nutshell?

Here is the first exciting news of July: June has bested May as our best month ever, traffic-wise, here at haineshisway.com. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, June trounced May and of course May was our best month before being trounced. We actually trounced it quite handily thanks to your efforts of the last week, trounce-wise. I actually knew we had beat May on Friday, but I withheld that tiny morsel of information so that we would not rest on our laurels, so that we would not just beat May by a mite. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? In fact, I find it so exciting that the only thing I can think to do to show my excitement is to click on the Unseemly Button below. I suggest all others follow suit, for there are more notes a comin’.

The second day of the Hollywood Memorabilia Show was disappointing. A whole different kind of crowd and the traffic was not as busy as it was at haineshisway.com, let me tell you that. But we still had fun, so there you are. I did get to meet Miss Barbara Eden, who looks pretty darn amazing. And Mr. Will Jordan stopped by to say hello to some of his friends who were doing the show, and he came by our table and said hello to us. In case you don’t know who Mr. Will Jordan is, he is known for doing the best Ed Sullivan impression, simply brilliant. I was so tempted to ask him to do it, but I held back, oh, yes, I held back.

I can’t tell you, dear readers, how much your lovely comments on Benjamin Kritzer mean to me. We’re going to be excerpting some of them on the Benjamin Kritzer page. Won’t that be lovely? So, if you enjoyed it and haven’t done so yet, please do post your reviews at amazon.com and barnesandnoble.com. It really helps spread the word like jelly on an English muffin.

I’ll be shipping the remainder of the Nudie Musical DVDs this very day (to those who wanted the additional signatures). I keep being interrupted by phone calls, but they are good phone calls so I suppose it’s okay. We’re going to be celebrating the fourth of July here at haineshisway.com so start getting prepared for our joyful and gay holiday week. Life is a party, dear readers, and we are here to celebrate, damn them all, damn them all to hell. What am I, Auntie Mame all of a sudden?

Well, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must get in my automobile and drive hither and thither and may even drive yon if I’m of a mind to. Today’s topic of discussion: If you were having a party and you could invite one living songwriter (or songwriting team) to perform at said party, who would it be and why would you choose them? Because I know most people’s first choice would be Mr. Stephen Sondheim, let’s just take him out of the running, since he wouldn’t perform anyway. I’ll start: I would have Mr. Harvey Schmidt and Mr. Tom Jones performing at my party. They’re both gregarious and fun, and I just so love their work. Your turn.

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