Well, dear readers, I was up until the wee small hours of the morning answering all of your excellent questions. I realized quite some time ago that I had to answer them the night before because it usually takes a good two hours and when I used to do it in the morning the notes wouldn’t go up until eleven and that was totally unseemly and has anyone but me noticed that this has turned into one of those confounded run-on sentences I hate when that happens when a sentence should have ended long ago and then just goes on and on and on with no end in sight because the punctuation police have taken a page from haineshisway.com and are off having donuts krispy kremes I think and my word it just keeps going on and on and on with no end in sight and I really must try to get a period or a colon or a semi-colon in here to stop the madness or these entire fershluganah notes will all be one long paragraph and will make no sense at all because there is no order without punctuation there is only chaos notes-wise there is only madness with words tumbling one after another like one of those ridiculous acts from the Ed Sullivan Show and wait I see a period lying off to the side of the page let me just grab it right here and now and also right now and here and. Whew, that was a bit of luck, wasn’t it?
Well, we’re off to a fine start this fine Thursday which, by the way (BTW, in Internet lingo) is the day I answer your excellent questions. Therefore, I like to keep this section of the notes short and sweet rather than long and sour. Soon I must be off to have breakfast with our very own Mr. Jason Graae.
I did hear from one of the people I wrote from classmates.com, one out of the four. At least she had the good taste to respond unlike the other three great flying oafs. I’ll tell you a bit more about that in tomorrow’s notes. Last night I had dinner at the Geissman’s. Their lovely daughter is doing a summer production of Annie at her school. It’s a scaled down version which is licensed to schools, called Annie, Jr. And would you like to know who she’s playing? Well, I’ll tell you who she’s playing because it will shock you, dear readers, as surely as it shocked me. She is playing Olivia Warbucks. Yes, Virginia, you read that right – not enough boys tried out for the play so they had to change Daddy Warbucks to Mommy Warbucks. I feel this will be a very interesting production to see and I will be there with bells on. I asked her if Mommy Warbucks was bald like Daddy Warbucks and got a resounding no. We had steak and for dessert, a lovely lemon cake.
Well, perhaps we should all click on the Unseemly Button below, because the next section is quite quite long. I will tell you here and now and also now and here that if there are spelling or grammatical errors it is because I was up until the wee small hours of the morning and by the end of it I was bleary-eyed and vaguely discontend. Oh, yes, I was bleary-eyed and vaguely discontented.
Well, I better get directly to your excellent questions; because there they sit, like so much fish, and we must never keep excellent questions waiting.
William E. Lurie asks this excellent question: At our New York signing, will people who’ve already purchased signed copies of the DVD and/or book be able to participate, or will they have to buy duplicates? If by participate you mean can you just come and partake of ham chunks and cheese slices, of course you can and the more the merrier. I think the store would preclude someone from bringing the DVD in, unsigned, for a signature.
Kerry asks why I don’t put together an all-star cast recording of Promises, Promises? Well, I must tell you, that it was always in the back of my head to try to do just that? I actually had made a deal to record the Reprise! Concert version with Jason Alexander, but the publisher of the score would not make us our standard show mechanical royalty, and it just became prohibitive because of that. I’ve always wanted to record it with Jason Graae, and in fact we talked about it after we did Drat! The Cat!. But, it’s an expensive album to make and I fear sales would be limited. Kerry also asks when I’m going to do another “what if” parody. My goodness gracious, it has been forever since I’ve done one, hasn’t it? I’ll see if I can come up with one over the weekend, how’s that? Do hot dogs make you lose control? I never lose control around a dog, whether said dog is hot or cold. I think it is not a good idea to show a dog that a human being can lose control. We must be good role models for dogs or they will simply run amok and cause havoc wherever they go.
Ben asks if I saw Mr. Bob Fosse’s musicalization of Big Deal on Madonna Street, entitled Big Deal, and if so what did I think of it? I have about twenty minutes of it on video from one of those reviewer’s reels, and I must say it doesn’t look too wonderful. However, the two dance numbers that are on that reel are spectacular. And since I mentioned 8½ as being one of my favorite Italian films, what do I think of Nine? I haven’t seen Nine on the stage, but I certainly enjoy parts of the album. It’s not a score I’m totally smitten with, however, despite some really excellent things.
Pam asked the same question as Kerry, but added Mr. Graae’s name. See above.
Jed asks what my thoughts are on Man of La Mancha, and what I think about the casting choices for the upcoming revival (Brian Stokes Mitchell, Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio and Ernie Sabella)? And how might I cast it differently? Well, Man of La Mancha is interesting. I saw the original production, here in Los Angeles, with Richard Kiley, Joan Diener and Harvey Lembeck. I think a lot of the show’s flaws were disguised by a wonderfully dynamic production, and brilliant performances. So, I enjoyed it back then. I can barely listen to the album, however, so it would be fascinating to see it on its feet again. The revival casting sounds pretty good to me, except I don’t know that Stokes has the power to sing it as well as Kiley. I know my pal Ron Raines has done it, and my bet is he’d be excellent in it. Jed also asks what a typical day’s traffic is at this here site. How substantial is the weekend drop-off? Well, the weekend drop-off used to be huge, but in the last few months that’s really turned around, and now the drop-off is much less substantial, maybe only 10 to 20% depending on the weekend. I’d say we get about five hundred visits a day from unique visitors. Maybe more on some days. It’s very consistent.
Phil says that we all have heard the stories of how Rodgers and Hammerstein couldn’t figure out how to make a musical of Pygmalion – are there any shows I can think of that might have been more successful had they been done by other authors? I don’t know about more successful, but they certainly might have been more interesting. La Strada comes to mind, or Paper Moon.
Ron Pulliam felt I should have an outrageous question, so has queried the following: Have I ever had a bikini wax? If so, did it hurt? And if so, why did I do it? And if not, have I at least wondered about it? Well, I had wondered about it, so I bought some wax and waxed a bikini. The bikini seemed to like it okay, but I felt it then looked like the bikini had waxy buildup. Seriously, I have never had a bikini wax, because I have never worn a bikini, not even an itsy bitsy teeny weeny yellow polka dot bikini. Ron also asks if I’ve produced a CD since leaving the company I created. No, although I’ve been in discussions to do so – but things have been quite hectic with book and DVD. I’m sure something will come up in the near future; in fact I can guarantee it. Until then, I know my productions of Beyond Therapy and The Alan Jay Lerner Album with Brent Barrett will be coming out at some point. And I have consulted on a couple of albums, for whatever that is worth. What is my favorite memorabilia acquisition? I’m very partial to an original 1950s spud gun I picked up on eBay. What is my opinion of the score to Juno? I like Mr. Blitzstein, and I think it’s a perfectly fine score.
Craig has his usual barrel-full of questions: What are my thoughts on Mr. Steven Spielberg’s film of Empire of the Sun? I enjoyed it – I didn’t think it was a masterpiece, but it was a good movie, with a lovely John Williams score. Are there any movies I’ve seen the first time and thought brilliant (or horrible) and then on second viewing changed my mind completely? Not really on second viewing. Sometimes the years change one’s perspective. For example, I loved Modesty Blaise when I was a teenager – saw it twenty times – and I could barely make it through the DVD. Conversely, when I first saw Lawrence of Arabia and El Cid, I really hated them – and I’ve grown to really love them both in subsequent years. What is the best executed DVD box set I own and the worst. First of all, why would anyone execute a DVD box set? It was guilty of a heinous (heinous, do you hear me?) crime? And that crime warranted capital punishment? Anyway, I’m not sure what you mean by box set – but the Toy Story box set is wonderful, and so is the Cliff Richard box set, and so are the Bond sets, even with their occasional screwups. The worst? Well, there’s a pretty terrible cheap box of Hercules movies – I don’t think I own worse than that. Did I have a nickname while I was growing up and if so how did I feel about it? I didn’t really have a nickname, although my brother did call me “Bugs” for reasons that only he knew. It didn’t bother me one or even two whits. Name my five favorite “Bobs” in the world, living or dead. Bob Hope, Bob Merrill, Bob Newhart, Bob Crowley, and Bob . I limited myself to only people who really used the name “Bob” – no Bobby or Robert. I could barely think of five – although I’m sure fifty more will come to me as soon as I put the notes up. What is my favorite room in the house, and why? Well, probably my den, because that’s where I sit on my couch like so much fish, and listen to music, read or watch DVDs. Do I collect autographs or other types of star memorabilia? Not really – I collect lots of arcane stuff, but I’ve never been all that interested in autographs. I have lots of signed books, however. In terms of signed books, I especially like all my Ira Levin first editions, each volume of which is inscribed to me. I also have inscribed to me, Gypsy and Anyone Can Whistle (by Sondheim), and The Fantasticks first edition, with wonderful inscriptions from Tom and Harvey. I prize all of those. Am I still in touch with David Levy? Yes – he’s moved back to Boston and is working there, but we’re still in touch. What is a hobby, skill, activity that I have not tried that I would like to? Hmmm. I don’t like hobbies, skills or activities really, at least new ones. I pretty much do what I like to do and there isn’t anything else that really interests me right now. Does my daughter ever visit this site? I don’t think she has – she only has access to a computer at work. I’m quite certain she’d find it amusing. What adorns the walls of my abode? Paintings – original illustration art, as well as a gallery of unbelievable black and white photos of Los Angeles in the past. Finally (finally!) is the Unseemly Interview Section really going up on Friday? Yes, it is and I’m hoping that each and every one of you will go visit it and enjoy our very first interview with Miss Kerry Butler. It is beautifully designed by our very own Mr. Mark Bakalor and is maintained by our very own constant querier, Mr. Craig Brockman.
Sandra asks if I’ve ever tried the triple chocolate Krispy Kreme donut? I haven’t, I’ve only had their glazed donut.
David Burrows asks: In addition to Promises, Promises, what other cast recordings would I like to “revisit” to give them all-star recordings? I don’t know about all-star, but I tried and tried to do a recording of A Chorus Line, totally complete, with all the dialogue. We couldn’t get the rights because they kept saying they were doing a major 25th anniversary production. Oops, didn’t happen. And sadly, neither did the recording.
Laura asks the following: When she buys a CD that I produced, do I still get a cut of the purchase price, or did I get paid once for producing it and that’s that? Well, shockingly, I don’t get a cut. And it depends how you look at it as to if I got paid once for producing it. Because I took a yearly salary, I never took a producing fee – my salary (this will astonish you) included producing, conceiving, running either a division of a company or the entire company, being the A&R person, doing arrangements, and getting the donuts. Had I known then what I know now, things would have been different, but one lives and learns, doesn’t one? To say that I was severely under compensated would be the understatement of all-time.
Donna asks (ala Comden and Green’s Wonderful Town) what do I think of the Native Squaws? Charles G. Dawes? Warden Lawes? What’s my opinion of Santa Claus? And the conga? She helpfully provided links for each name. Unfortunately I had no time to peruse the links and so I take the fifth. Although I’ve always believed in Mr. Claus and the Conga.
Tom from Oz asks which is my favorite recording of Man of La Mancha. The only one I can get through at all is the OBC with Richard Kiley. I think the only other one I heard all the way through was the French one with Jacques Brel. I think Jim Nabors recorded one, didn’t he? Or was that Placido Domingo? Did I see Ilya Darling? Yes, Sweetheart, I saw her yesterday and she was fine and dandy. No, I didn’t see Ilya Darling, except for the endless twenty minutes which was presented on the Ed Sullivan Show. It was dreadful.
Michael Shayne has some excellent questions about the Jason Graae live album. First, was the bonus song, Just Where It Should Be, in the show and then edited out to be a bonus track, or was it recorded separately? It was recorded directly after his show finished. We asked the audience to stay, which they graciously did. There were several shows performed and recorded and then edited together – can it really be considered a live recorded performance if one chooses the best moments, line interpretations, jokes and laughter and singing? First of all, we only recorded two performances – back to back. Second of all, I think one does what one must to make a good album – one that is seamless, of course, but one that is the best listening experience one can provide. That said, the bulk of what is on the live album, fully 85%, is from the first show. Did Jason have any input on what the final product would be? Yes. I put it together, mixed it, and then he came in and we listened together and he made a couple of comments and I did a couple of adjustments. Whose idea was it to do the album? Mine – I saw the show and it was just a no-brainer – I went back to see him and I simply said, “Let’s do it” and that was that. Did I have a chance to see the show or was I stuck in the truck all day. I was in the truck, but we had a nice video feed – plus I’d already seen it five times.
Alonso Quijana asks if I’ve ever dreamed the impossible dream? Yes, always. Fight the unbeatable foe? Endlessly. Bear with unbearable sorrow? I had a bear, but the fershluganah thing was always happy – he simply had no unbearable sorrow, the great flying twit. Run where the brave dare not go? I did run where the brave dare not go, and then the brave followed me there because they didn’t want to get left in the dust and be thought of as the cowardly sots they are. Right the unrightable wrong? Trying, baby, trying. Love pure and chaste from afar? Afar has never shown much interest in me – certainly afar has never shown me love pure and chaste, the great flying wanker. Try when your arms are to weary? I always try when my arms are too weary and it never works because my arms are too weary. Funny that. Reach the unreachable star? Yes, I’ve been trying to reach Clint Eastwood, but the great flying git won’t return my calls. Did I ever have a quest to follow that star no matter how hopeless or no matter how far, and fight for the right without question or pause and be willing to march into hell for a heavenly cause? I have followed Clint Eastwood for miles – a lot of good it did me. I would fight for the right without question although I might pause and fight for the left for a few minutes. As to marching into hell for a heavenly cause – most definitely.
Vincent’s mother asks if Vincent Cirilli sings, and if he does did I ever consider making a solo album with him? If I did who would be the engineer? Who thought of giving Vinnie all his alias names? Vinnie has many talents, but I don’t think singing is one of them. He is, however, an excellent drummer. I am afraid I came up with the alias names – let me tell you it became an albatross after awhile.
Freedunit asks if it is inappropriate to ask questions about Mr. Guy Haines on Ask BK Day? We’re going to have a separate special Ask Guy Day. Stay tuned. Do I play tennis? Never, not once. I used to play racquetball, that was as close as I got. Where was I born and when and what sign am I. I was born right here in Los Angeles, California, in 1947. I am a Saggitarian. Do I have any anecdotes about Joan Diener? I’m fresh out of anecdotes about Joan Diener. Yesterday, I had plenty, but someone bought the whole lot of them, lock, stock and barrel. What do I think of cheese fries? Never had them – they sound bogus. Apple pie or chocolate cake? The latter, always. Liza Minelli and David Gest – am I as appalled as Freedunit? Well, having met Mr. Gest on several occasions, it is rather appalling on some level. Whatever happened to itsdlevy.com? dlevy is alive and well and back in Boston. Do I sight read music fluently? No – I can read a bit, but I’m mostly self-taught and play mostly by ear. Have you ever played the piano with your ear? It’s very painful but also very rewarding. Any thoughts on singers and weight? Yes. Have I ever encountered a voice that could belt but not croon, or vice versa? Not really. If a singer is good, then they can pretty much do anything that’s needed. Have I ever worked as a vocal coach to bring out the potential I heard in a singer? Well, as most of you know, I used lots of newcomers on my recordings. I don’t think I’d use the words vocal coach, but I of course worked with them closely, as a director would with an actor. Would I respond to the recent New York Times article by Barry Singer about hard times for cast albums? Sure. First of all, Mr. Singer makes one little error in the piece, which I’m sure you’re all aware of, and which I found most amusing. I wonder if others found it most amusing? The article doesn’t surprise me at all. These things go in cycles. When I began doing albums in 1993 it was exactly as it is now, only worse. But I jumped into the field with such strength, that other labels took note after a year or two. After three years, everyone started jumping on the bandwagon again – after four years, it began to get difficult to get cast albums and after five years, big companies were actually having bidding wars. I just sat back and laughed, because I knew it would all end up right back where it was ten years ago. Remember back in 1993 – how many theater singers had solo albums. Less than a handful. I began doing them regularly, and suddenly everyone was doing them, every label. The difference however, is that I was able to do them in a cost effective manner. For example, the Kristen Chenoweth album on Sony cost over two hundred thousand dollars (much more if you add in promotion), as compared to one of my solo albums, which routinely cost anywhere from 30 to 50 thousand dollars to record (most around 35K). When I did The King and I, it cost one hundred thousand dollars less than the budget I was shown when a major label was considering doing it. That is because I don’t spend three weeks mixing an album that I can mix in three or four days. It’s not brain surgery and there’s an awful lot of waste that goes on.
Td asks me to rate the following James Bond films on a scale of one to five, five being best: Dr. No (3), From Russia With Love (5), Goldfinger (5), You Only Live Twice (3), Thunderball (4), Diamonds are Forever (2), Never Say Never Again (1) and Casino Royale (1 – but it’s a five-star guilty pleasure). Other than the Bond Theme, what are my favorite Bond songs? Goldfinger, From Russia With Love, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, Nobody Does It Better, and The Look of Love. Which singer has his/her finest moments when singing a Bond song? Shirley Bassey, Nancy Sinatra and Matt Monro. Is Sean Connery the only acceptable Bond? Well, he was the best, through You Only Live Twice. If the Bond films had been started in the early 50s, who would have been my choice to play him? Hard one. I haven’t a clue. Would I ever compose a Bond song? I did, believe it or not, for a cable comedy show I wrote and directed for, called Likely Stories. They did a Bond parody for the opening credits, and I wrote a Bond-like song called Heartbreaker.
Well, it is quite late now, and I am bleary-eyed and vaguely discontented and must be off to sleep. If anyone posted questions after ten Eastern, I’ll answer them tomorrow in the posts.
That is where I left off, and I’m now writing the end of these here notes having awakened refreshed and cleary-eyed and not discontented at all. Don’t forget, our brand spanking new The Unseemly Interview Section premieres tomorrow, so be sure to check it out – and while you’re at it tell all your friends and neighbors and your neighbor’s neighbors. Today’s topic of discussion: We’ve been talking about cinema and donuts recently, so today let’s talk musicals again – what is your favorite British musical? I’ll start: Oliver, Stop the World, I Want to Get Off, Passion Flower Hotel (guilty pleasure), The Boy Friend, Blitz, The Card and on and on. Your turn.