Well, dear readers, I have survived Tuesday, but only by the skin of my teeth or the hair on my chinny chin chin. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I have survived Tuesday and I am here to tell the tale and I shall tell it right here and now and also right now and here because all tales must be told and let me tell you all tales will be told.
So, yesterday morning I had several minor annoyances to deal with, which I did. That was all well and good and also good and well. Then I actually had some nice news which was, of course, nice. Then, whilst answering e-mails on AOL, AOL did one of its usual daily loops or freezes or whatever the hell you call them. Although my cursor was mobile (I love when my cursor is mobile) and I could get to places on the Internet, I could not do any AOL function, such as look at my e-mails, switch between accounts or even, get this, log off. I tried everything and nothing worked, so I finally did what you’re only supposed to do as a last resort – I used the power button to power down (I’ve since been shown a different way). When I tried to reboot, I got an error message, one I’ve gotten several times before in the last few weeks and one which I’ve been dealing with Dell about. I wrote down what this one said (the problem this error message lists is always different) and then restarted the computer as usual – but this time it put me into an endless loop between two error messages and I could not get into Windows. I called one of our dear readers who helps me with such things, our very own Miss Susan Gordon. She, in turn, got Dell on the phone. We told the technician what the error message said and he said we were going to have to load Windows anew from the CD Rom backup. I told him that was fine and dandy as long as I didn’t lose any of my Word documents. He said he couldn’t guarantee that. I went ballistic and here is why: Because one particular Word document that I’ve been slaving over for many weeks hadn’t been saved to floppy in two days. I’d finally had a breakthrough on said document, and I’d rewritten large chunks of it and I felt it was getting to be just what I wanted it to be – and now this fellow was telling me that I might lose it. I began to sound like a castrato, dear readers. He put me on hold to check a few things, and I lost my sanity as Miss Susan Gordon will attest to. When our handy-dandy technician came back on the line the first thing he told us was that, even though he had us on hold, he’d heard me ranting and raving. That was actually probably a good thing – he told us he’d talked to another techie and that the first thing we were going to try would not lose anything from my folder, not lose any Word documents. And he hoped that would work – and by that time, Miss Susan Gordon had used her noggin and figured out a way we could save the contents of my folder without getting into Windows – so, I felt a bit better.
I inserted the CD Rom backup of Windows and we began a check disc thing – where it goes through everything in your computer, and if there is something missing that should be there or if there is something corrupt somewhere it replaces and/or fixes it. The very helpful tech, whose shift was ending, stayed with us the entire time, even though they are not supposed to, all forty minutes that it took to do the check disc thing. At the end of it, the screen told us it had found and fixed one problem. We restarted the computer, I got the same error screen, but this time he had me restart once again, in “safe mode”. That worked, I got into Windows and I saved everything, and I mean everything, to a zip disc. I then restarted the computer once again, in normal mode, and everything worked fine and has, knock wood, been fine since. It was very traumatic and scary and I will now back up any important scribblings at the end of each day, or possibly more frequently than that. Better safe than sorry.
Wasn’t that an exciting story of corruption and redemption? Wasn’t that just too too? I then started to watch the brand spanking new DVD of a seventies film entitled Harry and Walter Go to New York, starring James Caan, Elliot Gould, Michael Caine, Diane Keaton and Charles Durning and a host of great character actors. I’d missed this one (one of the few in the seventies) because it had gotten such awful reviews. However, what I find these days is that even the worst of the seventies films is usually better than the overblown tripe I see today. Unfortunately, Harry and Walter is the exception – it really is as bad as the reviews said it was. It’s supposed to be a comedy, but it is totally unfunny, at least for its first hour (I’ll be watching the rest tonight). Oh, it wants to be funny, it thinks that its funny, but it is merely labored and not funny. One of the first problems is that the director is Mark Rydell. Now, Mark Rydell isn’t a bad director, he is certainly competent and has made some perfectly decent films. However, he’s about as funny as a colonoscopy. The two stars push hard but they simply don’t have the material. Diane Keaton is her usual seventies charming self and Durning is always great, no matter what. I have never seen him give a less than excellent performance. The music, by Mr. David Shire, is perky and fun, and there is a ragtime number called Nobody’s Perfect, done at the beginning of the film, that makes you very curious to know what Maltby and Shire’s five Ragtime audition songs were like. In the scene that the song appears in (Harry and Walter performing their “act”), the piano player is none other than Mr. David Shire himself.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? This section is starting to be as long as the collected works of Tolstoy, is it not? This is way too long for a section, but when you are writing about corruption, it takes time. Let us all click on the Unseemly Button below, and remember I will never ask for your username or password unless it can get me a free cheese slice or ham chunk.
The other day I mentioned a wonderful e-mail I’d gotten, an e-mail from someone unknown to me and an e-mail that simply made my day. I asked the author if she’d mind if I shared it with you dear readers, and she got back to me and said she wouldn’t mind at all. I don’t share it for reasons of ego, dear readers, I share it because it’s heartfelt and because sometimes I forget how truly wonderful people can be and that sometimes, in whatever small way, something I’ve done has had an impact on someone’s life in a positive way. There are so many people in this world who seem to only stress the negative and whose only purpose seems to be to cause people grief, that this kind of e-mail just brightens the day and accentuates the positive, as Mr. Johnny Mercer would say.
Dear Mr. Kimmel,
Sir, you are a genius. I’m sorry to intrude but last night I had a personal epiphany and I must share it with you.
I was 13 when I saw “The First Nudie Musical” on my first job of babysitting. I had just put the neighbor’s kids to bed and switched on the tv. Cable was brand-new and my neighbors were rich. Lo and behold, I had an aesthetic experience! Not only was this the first time I saw anybody naked in a movie but I was enthralled by the camp quality and sheer sweetness of an ensemble musical. And I was getting paid to watch it! Yes, I checked in on the sleeping children as I did.
Fast forward a few years later and I’m your typical high school/college kid majoring in theatre. I knock around a few towns with resumes and all that garbage. Meanwhile in every group, I introduce them to “The First Nudie Musical” and they of course love it. “Stuntcock” is now a term for any understudy or back-up prop. “Scales” is sung at every musical audition,etc.
Things you’ve heard from countless fans who think THEY discovered this movie (which is wonderful attribute to the film.) Ok, onto NOW. I’m 35, I’m a blonde, Polish woman from Cleveland. (Yes, I’m a human punchline) I don’t perform very often but I do write, direct and produce children’s theatre and love it. I’m married to prominent regional theatre artistic director (yes, I’m a “theatre widow”) In fact, once after hiring a mediocre director I asked him how rehearsals went. He replied, “We’re gonna need a lot of doughnuts.” I knew I loved him then.
Anyways, LAST night after ordering “The First Nudie Musical” on DVD, I watched all the commentaries. As I did, I was checking in on my OWN sleeping daughter and it hit me. This movie has been the blueprint of my life!! In 1980 I was a skinny kid reading Sylvia Plath and wondering who I was. Because of YOUR movie, I fell in love with musicals hence my college major. I fell in love with campy parodies, which is what children’s theatre is about. Hell I fell in love with my husband based on the fact he quoted you. When we bought our first Varese-Sarabond cd years ago, I literally did a spit-take seeing your name.(With all the theatre cd’s we buy, we probably made your rent payment for you one month at least.)
Mr. Kimmel, you are a genius. I love your style. There is a sense of joy in all your work.Your movies and cd’s have brought people together. I don’t know you. I’m not a theatre snob or weird fan. I’m just a Cleveland gal who thanks you immensely.I’d take you over Sylvia Plath anyday.
Ok, this fan letter sucked but I mean every word. The only other fan letter I wrote was to Shaun Cassidy in the 70’s. By the way, you’re “dreamy” too! 🙂
Thanks so much for your time,
Rachel Spence
Wasn’t that a wonderful e-mail to get out of the blue or even out of the red or green, for that or any other matter? Don’t we just love Miss Rachel Spence? Let’s all send a big haineshisway.com smooch in her direction. In any case, I thought you might enjoy reading it and I hope you have.
Well, dear readers, do you know what today is? Today is a day for a band to play because today is Ask BK Day, the day in which you ask me all of your excellent questions, which I know you’ve been slaving over. And perhaps even a few of our lurkers out there in the dark will ask questions. Yesterday, several lurkers came out of the woodwork and posted and that was lovely. It can’t be all that comfy and cozy in the woodwork, so let’s have more lurkers out there in the dark come out. Yes, Virginia, we want you lurkers in the dark to come out – be proud to be a Hainsie/Kimlet, let yourself be known to one and all and also all and one. And feel totally safe because no one at haineshisway.com will ever ask you for your username or password.
I’ll be back in a while to see how your excellent questions are. I always love to see your excellent questions, you know. And I hope we’ve had the last of corruption because the next time there’s any corruption I’m going to swat someone with a ladle. Post away, my pretties.