Well, dear readers, I am groggy. I had a sleepless night, filled with tossing and turning and also turning and tossing. I believe that is because I have a pain in my neck. Normally, I am a pain in the neck, but last night (and this morning) I have a pain in the neck, which is a whole different kettle of flavored gelatin. And so, I am groggy, my mind is foggy, my brain is soggy so perhaps I’ll feel better if I take a joggy.
Last night I watched part of Volume One of the brand spanking new I Love Luch DVD. I love Luch? Why did I just type I Love Luch when I clearly meant to type I Love Lucy? I Love Luch. What does that mean? I Love Lucy I understand. I Love Lunch I understand. I Love Luck I understand. But I Love Luch? In any case, I watched Volume One of the brand spanking new I Love Lucu DVD. What am I, groggy all of a sudden? I Love Lucyyyyyyyyyyyy. The first thing I watched was the unaired (until 1991, that is) “pilot” episode, which is taken from a 16mm print someone found somewhere. I’d never seen this before and it was pretty delightful. No Fred and Ethel yet, different set, but the banter between Desi and Lucy was funny and her clowning in the “audition” scene was great. Then I watched about half of the first episode on the DVD (not the first aired I don’t think – but from 1951) and the quality was amazing. And still funny after all these years. What a quartet they made – Desi, Lucy, Fred and Ethel. Their timing is a lesson in great comedy, and I am always amazed at what an able farceur Desi was. Paramount has put out two volumes so far, and hopefully there will be many more to come. They’re uncut and gorgeous.
I Love Luch. This is what happens when you have a pain in your nece. Neck. This is what happens when you have a sleepless night filled with tossing and turning and turning and tossing. The information flowing from the brain to the fingers runs amok and then you have amok fingers. You feel as if you are in a coma, which, of course, is amok spelled backwards with a different beginning letter.
Has anyone noticed that this week is strange? Because the fourth of July falls on a Thursday, no one is around, everyone’s taking days off and they may as well have just made the whole week a holiday. The thing I most want to know is is Thursday upset that the fourth of July is falling on it? What did Thursday ever do to warrant the fourth of July falling on it. I hope there is no permanent damage to Thursday. What the hell am I talking about?
I Love Luch. I just can’t get over that. I’ve tried to get over “that” but “that” has had a profound effect on my life and it’s not so easy to get over “that”. “It” I can get over, I can get over “it” but “that” is a whole other kettle of flavored gelatin.
Oh, let us all click on the Unseemly Button before I type I Love Luch again.
Have I mentioned that I have a pain in my neck? Have I mentioned that I am groggy, foggy and soggy?
Last night I also watched one of those videos. You know, one of those videos one isn’t supposed to watch. Get your minds out the gutter, dear readers, not one of those videos. No, it was one of those videos where someone brought a camera into a Broadway theater and taped a show. You are not supposed to do that, that is a very very bad thing. However, someone sent it to me and I watched it even though I knew it was a very very bad thing. It was a shakycam video of the musical Smile. I’d already listened to the CD of the entire show, but watching it (finally!) solidified everything I’d felt whilst listening to the CD. It should have been a great show and it isn’t. Plain and simple and also simple and plain. Since I’ve written about this musical ad nauseum, you all know that I really like the score a lot. Most of it works very nicely in the show, and I know there were things added and changed when they made the published version with Samuel French (the demo has many differences musically and lyrically). The problem, I’m afraid, rests squarely on the shoulders of the very talented Howard Ashman. His lyrics are wonderful and fine and, in most cases, suit the show very well. His book is all over the place – it’s never funny enough, its tone is totally inconsistent, and there is no focus. The movie’s humor came from both satire and from the well-drawn characters. And, of course, it’s much easier to focus with a camera when you have an ensemble piece. But the tone of the film rarely wavers and it is not afraid to be nasty when it needs to be. Ashman is afraid to be nasty and never seems to trust the material. In the film, Michael Kidd’s speech about the wooden foot is absolutely hilarious and awful. Here, it is underscored to the point of vaudeville – every line is accompanied by music, which builds and builds and then stops before the punchline – it ruins the whole thing. In fact, Mr. Hamlisch has added underscore to ninety-percent of the show and it’s just deadly – every emotion underlined and hit on the head – the audience never has time to do any work – it’s all done for them. Mr. Ashman’s direction is also problematic – it doesn’t flow well and is very confused. The set is ugly and clunky, too. The costumes are nice and the orchestrations are great and the band sounds fantastic. The best thing about the entire show is the choreography (well, the cast is excellent in most cases). It’s great choreography. It’s done by someone named Mary Kyte. After you see this choreography you scratch your head and think, “What happened to Mary Kyte and why isn’t she the biggest choreographer on Broadway?” I know she’d done a couple of things prior to Smile – but one flop doesn’t kill a choreographer (otherwise Miss Kathleen Marshall, Miss Susan Stroman and many others would never have been heard from again) so what happened? I don’t know the answer to that question, but I’ve always had a theory, and everyone I’ve ever told this theory to has said I’m wrong. However, I still have the theory anyway, because if you watch the dances in this show it just makes my theory so believable. And my theory is this: These dances reek of Michael Bennett. They are Michael Bennett to a “t”. My theory is that Mr. Bennett came in to help at the behest of his friend, Mr. Marvin Hamlisch, with whom he’d done A Chorus Line. If I’m wrong about that, then Mary Kyte took Michael Bennett lessons before doing this show. In any case, whoever did the choreography did a wonderful job, especially with the number Shine. If everything had been like the number Shine, the show would have been a huge hit. I also think if it had opened this year rather than when it did, even with all its flaws, it would have had a longer run – because it’s a different world today – you’ve got the crazy/obsessives on the Internet, you’ve got kids with apparently endless supplies of money who go see shows over and over again – it was just a totally different theatrical world back in the early eighties.
What am I, Ken Mandelbaum all of a sudden? Anyway, I’m happy to have finally seen the show, even if on a shakycam video.
Well, do you know what day it is, dear readers? I think you do. It is Ask BK Day, the day when you get to ask me any excellent questions you like. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? I hope you’ve been thinking up some good ones – especially now that some of you have had a chance to see the DVD and read the book. And I shall answer your excellent questions, honestly and truthfully, not necessarily in that order. I always love your questions and I also Love Luch. And don’t forget, not only will my answers appear in tomorrow’s notes, but we will be having our very first fourth of July celebration here at haineshisway.com. Yes, Virginia, we will be celebrating until the cows come home. We will have wieners on the barbecue, we will wear our cut-off jeans, we will wear our tight t-shirts, revealing our abs and buns of steel in all of their glory – and most importantly, we will have fireworks. Do not miss this celebration, dear readers, because it will be a fourth of July to remember and cherish for the rest of our lives.
Well, I must go, I must take the day, do the things I do, journey to unknown destinations in my automobile. I now turn the proceedings over to you, dear readers, and your excellent questions. Ask away, my pretties.