Well, dear readers, you won’t believe it – I don’t believe it and yet it’s true – it is now five o’clock in the morning and I cannot sleep. Sunday is supposed to be the day a person can sleep in and yet I am up at five o’clock in the morning, unable to sleep in. I can’t even sleep out for that matter. Part of the problem is of my own making. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, part of the problem is of my own making – because yesterday’s topic of discussion has given me the need to have donuts. I thought about donuts before going to sleep and I woke up thinking about them. I’ve got donuts on the brain, I’ve got a donut on my back, I’ve got to have a fershluganah donut now and yet who wants to put on their colored tights and pantaloons at five in the morning and go out driving, looking for an all-night donut score?
And so, I’m having donut withdrawal. Hello, my name is BK and I am a donutaholic. I am a donut junkie. I’ve been on the donut wagon for two weeks, but I feel I’m about to slip. I feel I’m about to succumb to a donut fix. I need it, man, I’ve got to have it. What the hell am I talking about?
Some very exciting things coming up here in Los Angeles, California – I’ll save the details for later, but we’ve just booked two count them two book signings, one in August in Glendale, and one in September at Dutton’s in Brentwood. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? I do hope if you’re in the area that you’ll stop by one of those events. I’ll be reading from the book, and there will of course be the official refreshments of haineshisway.com. I’m also doing a signing in Las Vegas in early September, and we’re trying to book one in New York, to do along with the Footlight Records DVD signing. I’ll have definite dates and locations for you, so stay tuned.
Well, we had a big event go by, but because Mr. Craig Brockman was errant and truant, most of us weren’t even aware of it. In fact, it would have totally slipped by unnoticed if it weren’t for our very own Freedunit. We had our 250th notes anniversary. What I would like to know is this: Does that mean I have written 250 of these here notes? Because if that is true, shouldn’t I be carted off to some asylum for the insane, like Johanna? 250 of these here notes. Well, here’s to 250 more. Let us all put on our pointy party hats and do the dance of the seven veils. Of course, does anyone still wear a hat?
Have I mentioned it’s five o’clock in the morning? What an unseemly hour to be up. Perhaps on finishing these here notes I’ll try to go back to sleep, try to stay on the donut wagon a little while longer. In the meantime, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, which will momentarily take my mind off this fershluganah donut on my back.
I went to a comedy show last night, an improv group. Some people I know were going, so I tagged along. May I just say that I am not a huge fan of this sort of thing? May I also say that the theater was so hot it was disgusting? May I also say they were serving cheese slices in the lobby? I don’t recall anyone asking for permission to do that and yet they were doing that. But the laugh was on them, because a) no one was eating their cheese slices because b) they used the wrong kind of cheese. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Those foolish foolish people thought they could one-up us, did they? Everyone who is anyone knows that we only use the finest processed American cheese for haineshisway.com cheese slices. They, on the other hand, had some kind of jalapeno slice with caraway seeds in it. Well, that is just too too arty, cheese slice-wise, in my honest opinion (IMHO, in Internet lingo). In any case, I dutifully sat through the improv group and I even dutifully chuckled a couple of times. I’ve seen The Groundlings before, and they were pretty amusing. But this troupe I saw suffers from the cutes – every performer had that look on their face, that “oh I’m being so clever” look, which for me just kills the humor.
Can you believe it – I just heard the singing bird chirping away outside, singing Oh, What a Beautiful Morning. I am bleary-eyed and vaguely discontented, but then who wouldn’t be at five o’clock in the morning?
Well, I believe I shall go back to bed and try to get a few more hours of blessed sleep. By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo) we had quite a lot of traffic yesterday, one of our busiest Saturdays ever, so give yourselves a Hainsie/Kimlet high five. Today’s topic of discussion: Well, you know, it’s Sunday – free for all day. The floor is yours, dear readers, so do with it what you will. Don’t forget, there should be a brand spanking new radio show up and running at some point today, although I have no idea what it’s about because Mr. Donald Feltham has been doing his impression of Mr. Ingmar Bergman’s The Silence. Post away, my pretties, and I shall join in the fun as the day goes by. For now, I must do something about this donut on my back.