Well, dear readers, it is Tuesday. Never say you don’t get any useful information here at haineshisway.com. I’ve received my second e-mail from someone who got their book but not their CD, so I apparently missed a couple – if, for some reason, you didn’t have a CD along with your book, let me know – I’m really down to the last handful, so let me know quickly. I will say, the CD was a “surprise” gift for loyal and true Hainsies/Kimlets and just that. It will not be available anywhere else, and at this point I most likely am not going to repress it.
My goodness we had quite a few High Winners in our handy-dandy Unseemly Trivia Contest this week. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? We’ll get to that in a moment. We must build suspense first, like Mr. Alfred Hitchcock. Besides who can think with the fershluganah gardner out there mowing so loudly they can probably hear it in Azusa. He should just bring the mower inside the house, that’s how loud it is. It is, without question, the loudest mower on earth. There, finally, he has moved to a different area and I can think again.
Have I mentioned that today is Tuesday? What you do with that information is, of course, entirely up to each and every one of you and also every and each one of you. Last night I watched a DVD of a little Brit thriller called And Soon the Darkness, starring Pamela Franklin. I like Pamela Franklin and will watch her in anything. It’s a standard-issue seventies Brit thriller, not very good really, but not terrible either. There is a commentary track which I listened to a bit of, with director Robert Fuest and writer Brian Clemens, both of whom had originally worked on The Avengers. At one point, they both speak their admiration for Mr. Alfred Hitchcock, and then one of them brags that this film was praised for its Hitchcockianness. Well, aside from the fact that it’s a suspense thriller, there is not one or even two whits of Hitchcockianness. If they think there is, then they don’t know what Hitchcock suspense is about. It’s about letting the audience in on things rather than withholding. And Soon the Darkness is all about withholding things and people behaving in silly ways because the script needs them to. Still, I liked Miss Pamela Franklin (I’ll watch her in anything, you know) and the music by Laurie Johnson is quite Herrmann-like.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? I also heard a demo recording by Bock and Harnick of Fiddler on the Roof. It is very interesting because half the songs on the demo ended up not being used in the show and it is instantly apparent why. The bulk of the discarded songs are just plain awful. Mr. Sheldon Harnick once told me that he’d been very disappointed with the Lost in Boston version of Dear Sweet Sewing Machine (sung on the album by Emily Loesser) because I’d had a female do it instead of a male. Well, you know what – after hearing the demo, I’m glad I did. First of all, it’s a duet on the demo, so having a female is not so far afield. Second, on the demo the song is peppy, for heaven’s sake. We did it slow and it’s quite touching and pretty that way. I’m happy to say that I’m not the only one who slowed down one of their peppy Fiddler songs. Anatevka, if you can believe it, is a zingly little ditty on the demo, and nothing like the plaintive beautiful and haunting song that ended up in the show. I’m sure it was slowed down at the insistence of Mr. Jerome Robbins, who had excellent theatrical sense. Also, nowhere on this demo are some of the musical’s best numbers – including Tradition, Matchmaker, Matchmaker and Now I Have Everything. There is one song that didn’t make the show that I really liked, called If I Were a Woman, but it is so not Fiddler on the Roof – it could be from any sixties Broadway show about anything – but it’s very catchy and excellent Bock and Harnick. It’s fascinating listening, I must say.
By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo) in case I haven’t mentioned it, it’s Tuesday. It is also time to click on the Unseemly Button below, and remember I will never ask for your username of password.
Has anyone noticed how the suspense is building? That is because you know the answer to the trivia question is coming, you know we will be finding out who the High Winners are. You know this, it’s all been set up in the first section, but now we are wringing every ounce of suspense out of that anticipation, just like Mr. Alfred Hitchcock, but not like Mr. Robert Fuest. I don’t know about you, dear readers, but frankly I am sitting on the edge of my seat.
I do hope you all remember what tomorrow is – tomorrow is Ask BK Day, so start thinking about your excellent questions, because I shall be ready to answer each and every one of them. Perhaps even some of our lurkers out there in the dark (you know who you are) will ask a question they’ve been dying to ask. You know, those things they’re always using the unseemly search box for – why they could just ask on Ask BK Day and they would get the answer they are seeking without having to go through endless columns. Oh, yes, they would get the answer they’re seeking.
Well, have we had enough suspense? Have we done Mr. Alfred Hitchcock proud? Very well, then. Here was the Unseemly Trivia Contest question, as posed by my very own self.
In the late fifties a musical appeared on Broadway. It starred a person who was already on their way to becoming a Broadway legend, and one of this musical’s creators was also on that road. But we are not interested in them. No, we are interested in a lowly chorus person. Why, you might ask, are we interested in a lowly chorus person, and I might tell you because this is a fershluganah trivia contest and this is the fershluganah question and if I withhold this information from you then we will have no fershluganah question and that would be heinous (heinous, do you hear me?). We are interested in this lowly chorus person because this lowly chorus person’s real name is the exact same name as the leading character in a very famous play. Now, that is irony. But the further irony is that the very famous play just happened to be running on Broadway at the exact same time that this lowly chorus person was appearing in the new musical. That’s right, you heard it here, dear readers, a lowly chorus person opened in a new musical at the same time that the play was running, in which the leading character had the same exact name. Is this convoluted enough for you?
Name the lowly chorus person.
Name the play in which the leading character has the lowly chorus person’s name.
Name the musical the lowly chorus person appeared in.
And here are the correct answers:
The lowly chorus person: Mame Dennis
The play in which the leading character has the lowly person’s name: Auntie Mame
The musical the lowly chorus person appeared in: Redhead
Our High Winners are Paul Fairie, Mark Rothman, JMK, Katie Morris, Tim Hedgepeth and Freedunit. We put all those names in an electronic hat, and said electronic hat arbitrarily chose Miss Katie Morris as our Highest Winner. If she would simply send her handy-dandy address to me via e-mail she will be receiving a sparkling prize. Congratulations to one and all and also all and one. By the way (BTW, in Internet lingo), some of you are still due sparkling prizes and I haven’t forgotten about you. They will all be going out this week.
Well, dear readers, I must be off, I must take the day, I must do the things I do. I must get my butt cheeks off the edge of my seat (where they were sitting, on account of these here notes being so Hitchcockian) and hit the road, Jack. I shall return on the ‘morrow with yet more notes from my fractured mind. Today’s topic of discussion: What are the latest cast albums and soundtrack CDs that you’ve purchased and what, amongst them, are your favorites, the ones that have gotten repeat plays. I’ll start: the soundtrack to Minority Report by John Williams has gotten several plays as has the new CD release of Ernest Gold’s On the Beach. Cast album-wise I’ve gotten several new things, but none, I’m afraid has gotten much repeat play with the exception of Li’l Abner. Your turn.