Well, dear readers, what is it with people? Isn’t that an excellent first sentence? Doesn’t that just pique your interest? Doesn’t that just start these here notes off with a flash and a bang and wallop? I’ll write it again, just because I like the way it looks: Well, dear readers, what is it with people? Hold it, flash, bang, wallop, what a sentence, what a sentence, what a paragraph! What am I, Half a Sixpence all of a sudden? Isn’t Half a Sixpence a Threepence? Why didn’t they just call that fershluganah show Threepence? Why all the fancy frillery? Where was I? Oh, yes, what is it with people?
The reason I wrote that sentence is because I received this morning about the twentieth e-mail with a virus attached. Of course, I did not open said e-mail, I merely deleted it. It was from an e-mail address I recognized and it was written in such a way that if you weren’t wary of these things you might just have opened it. So, my question is this: What is it with people? What kind of kick do they get out of this? What kind of people get a thrill from giving others grief? What kind of people live to give others grief? And what kind of world do we live in where they can get away with it? I, myself, have gotten several e-mails recently, kicked back to haineshisway.com which appear to have come from here, all of which contain virus attachments – if you show the details of the e-mails that were kicked back, it is very clear that none of them emanated from here. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, someone is using our address for their nefarious e-mails with viral attachments. Not just our address, but many addresses, which they seek out and hack all over the Internet. It used to be that someone would get an e-mail with virus, they’d accidentally open the attachment, the virus would then send out e-mails to everyone in their address book, and on and on and on. Now, they don’t even bother with that. They just steal someone’s address and send out e-mails to other stolen addresses (I gather they troll newsgroups). I knew immediately that none of those viral e-mails had come from here because we have no address book for a virus to attach itself to. And these e-mails were all sent to total strangers anyway. But just think if they’d been sent to a dear reader who, had accidentally opened it because it came from a trusted website? That would be heinous (heinous, do you hear me?). So, what is it with people? Why do this? They don’t make money from doing this. They merely create problems for people who probably don’t need the problems. So, with all this technology we have, why can’t they be caught and strung up by their thumbs? Well, I’ll tell you something – we are going to do our bit to punish them! Those people will not be allowed to wear their pointy party hats, nor their colored tights and pantaloons. They will be denied any and all cheese slices and ham chunks and they most certainly will not be dancing the Hora or even the Monkey. They can just go stand in the haineshisway.com corner and flog themselves like fershluganah Judge Turpin, is what they can do. In any case, viruses are out there – do not open any e-mail with an attachment unless you get a confirmation from the person who sent it that it’s okay to open it.
I think this is something for Mike Wallace, Dan Rather and Harry Reasoner to sink their collective teeth into, don’t you, dear readers? I, for one, am truly tired of people who only live to cause others grief and I say we rout them out and give them a flash, bang, wallop right on their useless noggins, not to mention their piggins and their firkins. What the hell am I talking about?
I want you all to know a shocking thing. And just what is this shocking thing I want you all to know? Well, I’ll tell you what this shocking thing is that I want you all to know because why should I keep such things from you. The shocking thing I want you all to know is that I have run out of Diet Coke. I am currently sitting at my handy-dandy laptop computer, drinking a fershluganah diet Cream Soda. Now, I like cream soda as much as the next noggin or piggin or firkin, but it does not give me the flash, bang, wallop of a Diet Coke. What it has given me, in fact, is a headache.
Well, perhaps we should all click on the Unseemly Button whilst asking the question of the day: What is it with people?
Have I said “what is it with people” yet? Have I said I’m tired of people whose entire being is suffused with the desire to give others grief?
Just a reminder that tomorrow is Ask BK Day, so get your excellent questions ready, and that includes you lurkers out there in the dark. We had a couple of lurkers de-lurk and post and we even had some brand spanking new visitors to the site. It is always lovely when we have de-lurkers and new visitors to the site, as long as they are not scum-sucking virus carrying cretins, which thankfully they weren’t. We know how to deal with scum-sucking virus carrying cretins around here, believe you me. “Believe you me”? What is that? “Believe you me”. Who am I, Tonto all of a sudden? Aren’t there some words missing? “Believe you me”. In any case, believe you me, we know how to deal with scum-sucking virus carrying cretins and if any of them show their jiggly butt cheeks around these here parts they will be dealt with and punished to the fullest extent of the haineshisway.com law. Yes, Virginia, those scum-sucking virus carrying jiggly butt cheeked cretins will be bitch-slapped from here to eternity and back again.
We had many many many (that is three manys) High Winners in this week’s guest trivia contest. The question was:
This actor appeared in a Broadway show where Sondheim’s music is finally heard for the first time. He would go on to direct a musical whose male and female stars would never appear on Broadway again. However two of the cast members would go onto Tony winning performances and a third would win an Emmy for a ground breaking TV show.
Name the cast members who would go on to win the Tony award and the shows they won for.
Name the cast member and the ground breaking show that got them the Emmy award.
And the answer is:
Carole Bishop and Marilyn Cooper, for A Chorus Line and Woman of the Year
Scott Jacoby, for the TV movie, That Certain Summer
Just to answer the rest: The actor who went on to direct a musical: Arthur Storch, Golden Rainbow with Steve and Eydie. Sondheim music was, of course, featured for the first time in The Girls of Summer. Our High Winners are Michael Shayne, Matthew, Freedunit, David Burrows, Paul Fairie, Steve Gurey, Stuart and Steve Westcott. And our Electronic Hat has chosen our Highest Winner, Steve Gurey. Congratulations to one and all and also all and one.
This diet Cream Soda is disgusting. I will soon have to go out and stock up on Diet Coke again. How did I let this happen? I saw I was down to the last three around five o’clock yesterday. Why didn’t I go out and replenish the supply right then and there? Well, I’ll tell you why – I was in the middle of a meltdown, that’s why. That was the very moment I happened to be thinking, what is it with people? And the more I thought “what is it with people” the angrier I got, and the angrier I got the less coherent I became and the less coherent I became the less I was thinking rationally, for if I had been thinking rationally I would have gotten in my automobile and replenished the dwindling supply of Diet Coke. And I was accused of babbling the other day – well, just look at me now, ma. And just where is the fellow who accused me of babbling? He just shows up, tells me I babble, and then leaves, without so much as a by-your-leave, whatever the hell that means? What is it with people, that’s what I want to know.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must be off because certainly I cannot be on. If this is on then I must be off. If this is off how can I be on? What am I, Eugene Ionesco all of a sudden? Today’s topic of discussion: Yesterday we found out what was currently in your CD player – today let’s find out what is currently in your video player, be it tape of DVD. What have you liked, what have you hated. I’ll start – well, you know what’s been in my player because I write about it all the time – so, your turn.