Well, dear readers, here we are on the last day of August and also on Labor Day weekend. August has been a very strange month, with some excellent days and some not so excellent and in fact quite blechhhy days, but we have survived and are here to tell the tale at the tail of August. August certainly was an interesting month here at haineshisway.com. It started off with a huge bang, then tapered off quickly. Most of our regulars were here regularly, but some were here only irregularly and some were completely missing in action. Well, we are apparently the Grand Hotel of the Internet – people come, people go. People check in, people check out. People come for a short visit, people try other hotels. Some people come only to search, hoping to find things which will do them no good and which they will never find. Some people come because they like the host, the good maid service (despite the evil eye), the always manicured but loudly mown lawns. Some people come for the singing bird. Some come to find romance, some come for the haute cuisine of cheese slices and ham chunks and various and sundried cakes, and some come because they know this is the last civilized yet irreverent place on all the Internet. The really loyal and true Hainsies/Kimlets stay and take up residence. Yes, we’re like Grand Hotel, people come, people go, but our door keeps revolving and we’re always here. What the hell am I talking about?
I do hope all the vacationing errant and truant will return to the fold Come September, starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee. September and October are two months when we must simply be together, no matter how busy we all are (and I can tell you I shall be very very very – that is three verys – busy Come September starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee). Even the lurkers out there in the dark must join our merry troupe and post their thoughts on whatever topics are being discussed. And, as I’ve said many times, it doesn’t matter if you don’t contribute to the topic at hand, you can start new topics or post about anything that’s on your mind. As dear reader, William E. Lurie said yesterday, some of our most interesting discussions have not revolved around the topic of the day. In fact, I may stop having regular topics of the day, and only have them occasionally. What do we all think of that idea?
The one thing we know that will be a constant Come September starring Bobby Darin and Sandra Dee, is that we will all have to click on the fershluganah Unseemly Button below. But that’s only because we’re like Grand Hotel – people come, people go, but the Unseemly Button is always here, like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter. My goodness, what a poetic image.
Has anyone noticed that we are like Grand Hotel – people come, people go, but we are always here, like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter. Now wait just a darn minute.
I knew I’d heard that line somewhere before. It’s a Meltz and Ernest song, and one of their best, in my opinion (IMO, in Internet lingo). Here it is for your edification, whatever the hell that is.
LIKE A FESTERING COLD SORE IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER
Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest
What is our love like
I’ll tell you true
What is our love like
Like a case of the flu
It’s
Like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter,
Like when gangrene sets in when you don’t attend to a splinter,
Like a scar on your face from that time someone smacked you
Like a sickening wound from the time a pit bull attacked you
That’s how much I love you, baby,
You’re like an open sore.
That’s how much I love you, baby,
And baby, there’s the door
Because you’re
Like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter,
You’re like having to sit through too many plays by Harold Pinter
Like a mouth that has teeth that are blackened and rotted
Like an arthritic hand that’s all gnarly and that’s all knotted
That’s how much I love you, baby,
You really kind of ooze
That’s how much I love you, baby
And baby, there’s your shoes
So use ’em
Like a festering cold sore in the middle of winter
You’re annoying, you’re disgusting
And the sleep in your eye is crusting
That’s how much I love you, baby
Baby, not one whit.
So, use your shoes
And use the door
‘Cause baby, we’re done
And that’s it.
Isn’t that a wonderfully evocative song? In any case, today is our Unseemly Trivia Contest and here is today’s unseemly question.
In one long-ago theatrical season there was a hit play and this hit play had a rather amazing cast. The star of the show was also someone who had written plays and someone who would go on to win an Academy Award. The supporting cast featured a young fellow who would go on to star in one smash hit musical, one musical that wasn’t such a smash hit, and one smash hit play, as well as several motion pictures. The other co-star would go on to star in one of the most famous modern plays ever written, as well as several movies and a TV series. The cast also featured someone in a small role who would also appear in a small role in the film that won the star their Academy Award.
Name the hit play.
Name the star.
Name the two co-stars.
Name the actor in the small role who appeared with the star in the film that won the star the Academy Award.
Bonus and clue: That very same season, another up-and-coming star was appearing in a musical. That up-and-coming star would end up having a major connection to the hit play we’re discussing. Who was the star and what was the connection.
Well, that’s a long-winded question, isn’t it? That’s kind of the Grand Hotel of questions, isn’t it? Remember, DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS TO THE SITE. Send them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com or simply use the unseemly Ask BK Button located on our unseemly home page. Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, which includes meeting our very own Donald Feltham for tea. Yes, Virginia, Mr. Donald Feltham and I will be meeting for tea – tea for he and me. Then I must do many other things, which I’ll tell you about when I return. In the meantime, let’s post until the cows come home and give the end of August a big old kick in the pants. Today’s topic of disussion – what is currently, right this very moment, in your CD player and in your video or DVD player? I’ll start: CD player – A weird but wonderful classical CD called Mavis in Las Vegas by the very strange but wonderful Peter Maxwell Davies – who did brilliant musical arrangements and orchestrations for Ken Russell’s film of The Boy Friend. DVD player: The Sopranos, Season Three. I’m addicted and am on show nine.
Your turn.