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September 28, 2002:

THE NOTES SANS TITLE ARE SANS NO MORE

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I can’t believe it, but I am on my way to shoot some video for the new show at six-thirty in the morning and I shall not be returning from said shoot until eight this evening. Isn’t that something? Isn’t that just too too? I think I am already losing my sanity – I really need both weekend days off, but unfortunately duty called and I answered the fershluganah phone. If only I’d looked at the caller ID I would have seen it was duty calling and I would have let the machine pick it up. Of course, maybe “it” doesn’t want to be picked up by the machine. And next week, when I should be sleeping in and resting on Saturday, I will be flying to New York, New York very early in the morning. And then it’s a whirlwind of get-togethers, meetings, casting sessions and meals until I get back on Wednesday morning, and then I go straight to a meeting even then. Then back to work on Thursday and then, only then, at long last, will I have a weekend off. Well, at least I can get some writing done on the two plane trips, so that will be good. I need a massage, I need my feet rubbed and I need a cheese slice and ham chunk.

In any case, I must hurry along because Mr. David Wechter and his automobile will be here any minute to pick up his bleary-eyed and vaguely discontented passenger.

Of course, knowing that I must hurry along I can think of absolutely nothing to write about. Isn’t that always the way. Just when one is in need of words the words don’t come. Well, damn them, damn them all to hell. Have I mentioned that it is very early in the morning? Have I mentioned it’s still dark out? Have I mentioned that I got the sun in the morning and the moon at night – oh, an Irving Berlin reference. Have I mentioned that I am losing my mind – oh, a Stephen Sondheim reference. Enough with the references already. Not a day goes by without some reference – oops, a Stephen Sondheim reference. You see what I mean?

Why don’t we all just click on the Unseemly Button below and see if there are more words waiting there.

Why yes, look at all these words that are waiting to be read. That is because, clever boy that I am, I answered all your excellent questions last night. Some questions required too much thought and those I will mention but answer when I can do the question justice. Have you ever done a question justice? What was the sentence? Two years at hard labor or just a slap on the hand? What the hell am I talking about?

Jose asks if there are any particular songs where I’ve heard an arrangement and it’s totally changed the way I viewed the song, for better or for worse. Well, there was the lounge version I once heard of Send in The Clowns, which was so bad that I find it difficult to even listen to the song now. I will tell you a little secret – when we did the A Little Night Music in Jazz album, there was originally going to be a hidden track and we recorded it and everything. It was Guy Haines and Terry Trotter doing that lounge version of Send in the Clowns. I wonder if I still have it somewhere. Ever since we did the kooky Bacharach-style arrangement of Joey, Joey, Joey on Liz Callaway’s first album, I find it difficult to listen to that song sung any other way now.

Philip Crosby asks if there’s a cast album or film soundtrack that I really like, where the show or the film itself is pretty dreadful. Oh, many. For example, the film of The Blue Max is just about unwatchable, but the Jerry Goldsmith score is simply brilliant and is one of my favorite CDs. Cast album-wise, I love listening to Minnie’s Boys, but the show was bad. Same thing with Mack and Mabel and a few others.

Jay asks what my thoughts are about the state of amplification in the legitimate theater today? I think the state of amplification in the illegitimate theater is better, frankly. After I saw Beauty and the Beast I remarked that that kind of sound design was the end of the Broadway musical. Then I saw Mamma Mia, which was so loud and obnoxious-sounding that I almost ran from the theater. I think the way they sound design shows today has made performers very lazy. There’s no question that amplification is needed, but it should sound normal, just a reinforcement of the real sound coming from the pit and the stage. Occasionally you still see something like that and it’s like a breath of fresh air.

William E. Lurie asks why most DVDs come with three sides sealed with security tape under the shrink wrap. I really don’t have an answer other than to say someone in the DVD wrapping facility has a warped sense of humor. I spend so much time peeling tape it’s not even funny. Sometimes I say, Beulah, peel me a tape. Not all studios do it, though, thank goodness.

George has found a photo of Guy Haines as a baby, in which you can see his face (don’t we have that photo in our very own photo gallery? I’ll have to go look, but I think we do). Has the fact that the adult Mr. Hainses’ face is always obscured a deliberate attempt at anonymity, a totally incredible coincidence, or just a big giant running gag. All of the above. If you haven’t visited the Guy Haines photo gallery, there is a complete family history – just go back to the unseemly Home page and click on the link on the left.

Steveg asks what method I have of storing and cataloguing DVDs. I have shelves that accommodate them in my den, but I have run out of room there. Those in the den are all alphabetical, except for the Criterion DVDs, which I have all together by number. The rest are scattered in various other rooms and I’m afraid are a bit of a mess, cataloguing-wise. I’ll get around to figuring out something for those scattered DVDs, when I have a moment to breathe.

Jed asks what my favorite Act One finale is. Well, I love Everything’s Coming Up Roses, And I Am Telling You I Am Not Going, and Turkey Lurkey Time.

S. Woody White asks if I have a favorite non-fiction author. I read a lot of non-fiction, but mostly film books, so there is no one author that I’m partial to. S. Woody White also asks what my impressions are about The Adventures of Robin Hood, color-wise, given my disappointment with Singin’ In The Rain. Funnily, when the Criterion laser came out it got absolute raves. I hated every minute of it – it was all brown and ugly and totally washed out Eastman color of a Technicolor film. Then MGM/UA released their own laser, and it was spectacular – one of the great color transfers – vibrant and thrilling and exciting. And people who had the Criterion laser complained about it! I couldn’t believe it. I do hope when it comes out on DVD they get it right.

Kerry asks if I were to have my stable of stars record an album of my songs, who would I have sing what? Well, that’s too difficult to answer blithely. I shall think on it. The problem is, however, most of you don’t know most of my songs, so I don’t know that the answers will mean much.

StephenG asks how I first met Jason Graae. He was recommended to me by someone, for Unsung Sondheim, and I think we met at the musical director’s apartment – and we just got along famously and have ever since.

Well, I’m afraid I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must be driven a long distance to a place where I will shoot all the live-long day and into the early evening. I shall be exhausted by tomorrow night, but I promise to log on the minute I get home so I can read all your wonderful postings, which will cheer me up. I do apologize for not having our Unseemly Trivia Contest again (several dear readers sent me questions I could have used, but I am so crazed I don’t even have time to go get them and paste them in) – but the contest will be back next Saturday, I promise. Today’s topic of discussion: Here’s something I don’t think we’ve discussed – what are the best costumes you’ve ever seen designed for a stage musical? Maybe we have discussed it, who can remember anymore after all these fershluganah topics? I’ll start – certainly the costumes from Pippin were brilliant, absolutely brilliant. Hello, Dolly had wonderful costumes too. I thought the costumes for the original production of Follies were some of the best I’ve ever seen. Your turn. And discuss whatever else you feel like discussing.

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