Well, dear readers, it is the weekend, and I, for one, say hooray and also rayhoo. I intend to do nothing but laze about, write, do a few errands and sit on my couch like so much fish. I may jog, I may not. I may watch a DVD or two, I may not. My goodness, I’m feeling very contrary this morning.
Before we go one step further, we have a birthday to celebrate today – so, celebrate we will. Let us all immediately put on our pointy party hats, our colored tights and pantaloons – let us all break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks and let us dance the Hora all the livelong day and night, let us eat cake, let us do the Hokey Pokey and the Irish Reel. Above all, let us shout a big happy birthday to our very own dear reader, Jed who is twenty-three count them twenty-three years of age this very day. So, on the count of three let us all shout “Happy Birthday, Jed”: One, two, three – “Happy Birthday, Jed”. We all wish Jed a wonderful twenty-third year, and I have gotten him a special inscribed copy of The Randy Vicar and the Umbrella.
Well, it is always lovely to start the day with a celebration, isn’t it? And, no matter where you go today, you must wear your pointy party hat and your colored tights and pantaloons. And if someone says nay or looks at you askance, you simply say “phut” to them and turn away haughtily.
I do believe it is time for us all to click on the Unseemly Button below – after all, don’t I have excellent questions to answer? Isn’t there an Unseemly Trivia Contest question for you to peruse?
We had a few excellent questions, which I shall now do my best to answer in a lucid and forthright or forthleft manner.
William E. Lurie asks if I think the fact that the off-Broadway show, Debbie Does Dallas, has no nudity or sex will hurt or help the show. From what I’ve heard, nothing will help the show. Do I think that the nudity in the stage version of Nudie Musical (and yes, Virginia, there will be nudity) will help sell the show or incorrectly make people think it’s a porno show? Well, people would have to be awfully stupid to think it a porno show. I think the nudity, as in the film, is all in good fun and I would hope it would be accepted as such. There was some brouhaha when the film came out, but here we are twenty-six years later, and I’d like to think people know the film well enough, or that they would get with the spirit of the thing even if they didn’t. William also asks what steps are being taken in the publicity to let people know that it’s a good old-fashioned musical comedy? Too soon to know yet, but I will be very involved in all that – and believe me we will let people know in a good-natured way that it’s “safe” to see the show.
JMK asks if I’ve been reading Doonesbury this week? Apparently one of the characters has a blog or a log or whatever the hell they call it and writes a daily e-journal. I must admit, I have never read Doonesbury so therefore I cannot answer the question, oh, no, I cannot answer the question.
Steveg asks if I ever have time to watch the DVDs I buy a second or third time after your initial viewing. I barely have time to watch them a first time. But sometimes, if it’s a really interesting film or director, and there’s a commentary track, then I will.
Allan asks how many of our regular dear readers I know personally (apart from the people I met at Joe Allen). Only dear reader Susan, dear readers Laura and Sandra, and I did meet JMK when he was in town. That said, I feel that I know all dear readers personally, except for the occasional uncouth interloper.
Ron Pulliam asks if the commercial I appear in in ET was specifically made for the film or was it subbed out. It was a real phone company commercial and they did a buyout for its use in the film. It was a tad underhanded – they called us and said it was to be used in a very low budget film called A Boy’s Life. So, we all agreed to the buyout – I think we got fifteen hundred dollars – little did we know. I do have to believe that the residuals on a film like ET would have been quite nice.
S. Woody White ask what I like in my chicken soup. I just like the soup, a bit of chicken and the noodles – with the odd matzoh ball occasionally.
Tom from Oz asks if the actor who played the title role in the film Harvey also played it on stage. Isn’t the title role in the film and stage play “invisible”? I don’t know that I’ve seen Harvey in thirty years, so I just don’t remember.
Michael Shayne asks the same question as Ron regarding ET, so please see the answer up there. On the Atkins diet, am I taking any of the supplements or have I bought any of the food. No, I don’t even know what the supplements are – I keep meaning to visit the website, but for now I’m being guided by a long-time Atkins dieter. Has it been difficult to cut down on the carbs. Eating specific kinds of food all the time is always difficult because you immediately start craving what you can’t have – right now, I’m dying for bread and pasta and candy. But I haven’t “fallen” yet.
Jed asks what my least favorite subject was in school. Oh, math (apologies to William F. Orr) and science. What is my favorite bit of Monty Python humor. My all-time favorite Python bit is a spoof of Sam Peckinpah – can’t remember what it was called, but it was absolutely hilarious, one of the funniest things ever. What are my thoughts on Roger Miller’s music. I think he’s okay, fun, not brilliant.
Arnold M. Brockman asks if I think it is time for a movie or TV special of Follies. Yes, a TV version that would be faithful to the show – no changes, none of the revisions – just give me the Follies I know and love. How about She Loves Me? Well, there was that BBC thing, which I didn’t care for. I suppose so, but again, for television, so they could stay true to the source material.
Jose asks if I’d like to be a Tony voter. Nah, not really. Do I know a good source on the web regarding securing rights for songs that are going to be recorded and subsequently used on CD for public sale – and just how necessary is it to secure those rights for what is basically a vanity recording. Here’s how it works: If the songs in question have been recorded before, you don’t need to secure any rights in advance. All you have to do is fill out the mechanical royalty forms after the CD is recorded, and then pay those fees as the album sells (you may hold back for returns – and you may also ask for a special rate. Statutory rate is something like six cents per song, but publishers will frequently give you 75% of stat). There is a royalty “house” called the Harry Fox Agency, which collects those payments. If it’s a first recording, then those rights must be specifically secured from the publisher prior to the recording. Jose remembers that there was talk at one time of putting together a vocal selections book of Lost in Boston and Unsung Musicals. I had meetings with a large publishing house about it for two years, and we just couldn’t work it out – a shame, as we had tons of requests. Do I find composers cooperative about supplying music for those songs (to the public) – it really depends on the songwriters.
Sandra asks if I’ve ever worn leopard spots? I do believe that I played a Tarzan-like character in something or other, and I do believe I was in a leopard-skin thing. Laura, via Sandra, asks if I did the musical directing for the CD, Cole Porter: A Musical Toast. The musical directing was by Ron Abel, but I did produce the live album.
Angela D. asks what is my favorite cartoon character? Well, I loved the Max Fleischer Superman cartoons. I loved Crusader Rabbit and Clutch Cargo. Is that what you mean? And Daffy Duck, one of the greatest cartoon characters ever. Where did Vinnie get all those wacky middle names? I’m afraid I made them up ninety percent of the time.
I do hope I answered your excellent questions in a lucid and forthright or forthleft manner. And now, it is time for our Unseemly Trivia Contest question, which I have prepared especially for you in an oven at 350 for three hours. It is now done and I serve it for your mental delectation.
A classic play by a great playwright, it was directed by an Academy Award-winning director. In addition to its three over-the-title stars, the cast featured four other very interesting people who would go on to have very interesting careers. One of them would go on to become a major motion picture star. One of them would go on to become the star of a beloved seventies television series. One of them would go on to become a very well-known character actor in both film and television (this person also starred in a well-thought-of sixties television series). And one of them would go on to direct a classic musical and a classic play.
Name the classic play by the great playwright.
Name the Academy Award-winning director.
Name the four cast members.
Remember, DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS TO THE SITE. You may e-mail them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com or simply use the unseemly Ask BK Button on the home page. Good luck to one and all and also all and one.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do and this is quite enough writing for one day, if I do say so myself and I do. I want to see lots of pointy party posts today – no usual Saturday fall-off. We must have and end-of-month push and make this the most popular site on all the internet, beloved by everyone with a brain or, at the very least, an elbow. Today’s topic of discussion: We forgot to do this yesterday – what is currently in your CD player, and what is currently in your DVD or video player? I’ll start – CD player, the opera of Desire Under the Elms. DVD player, a cavalcade of Carry On movies. Your turn.