Well, dear readers, it is a time for scary notes. It is a time for chills, it is a time for creepy crawlers and things that go bump in the night. It is a time for hobgoblins and ghouls and the willies. It is, after all, Halloween. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, it is Halloween and we shall be celebrating all the live-long day and live-long night. We will don our pointy Halloween hats, and our witch noses, and our scary masks, and we shall frighten whoever dares to visit us in our inner sanctum of haineshisway.com horror. We shall raise Cornelius Hackls and ghostly goosebumps. We shall dance the scary Hora and we shall trick or treat and also treat or trick, whilst eating cheese slices and ham chunks. In short, be afraid, be very afraid.
These scary notes are scaring even me, dear readers. I am quivering and quaking in my kitchen. I hear strange noises all about me, as if spirits were circling me in a frenzied frenzy, calling out, “BK, BK, it’s Halloween day”. Oh, I am chilled to the bone. I am like a frozen pizza (with pepperoni), that is how chilled I am. Things are going bump and it’s the morning. So much for things going bump in the night. I’ve got bumps in the fershluganah morning. We are at the mercy of the Halloween Sprites or, at the very least, the Halloween Frescas. Wait, what was that? I thought I saw a ghostly apparition, but alas, it was only these here notes. What tricks the day shall play on all of our perceptions.
This is our first Halloween together, dear readers, and we must all stay glued to this site or otherwise great awfulness may befall those who don’t. Do not even think about being errant and truant on this weird day. Wait, what was that? I thought I heard a creepy crawler, but alas, it was only my stomach, craving an Eileen and Chet Atkins foodstuff.
In fact, it is so frightening in this section that I suggest we all click on the Unseemly Button below so see if relief is awaiting us in the next section. Click away, dear readers, for the creepy crawlers are coming to get us if we don’t.
Has anyone noticed how scary it is around these here parts? I am afraid to look hither or thither or even yon, for such horrors may await me if I do. Wait, what was that? I thought I heard a raven a’knocking at my door. And do you know what that raven just said? That fershluganah raven just said, “Nevermore.” “Nevermore,” quoth the raven, although who the raven quoths I have no idea. That’s all the raven says, over and over, “nevermore, nevermore” until you want to smash its grotesque little body against the wall. Then it would be a smashed raven and it would no longer say “nevermore” because “nevermore” will have arrived for the smashed raven. Has anyone noticed that I am simply ravin’?
Has anyone noticed that the visits to this here site have been up but the posts have been down? We only want up. We want up and then we want more up. I don’t mean to harp on this situation so perhaps I’ll banjo on this situation instead.
Now, I have made a decision about a weekly live chat and that decision, based on your posts, is a positive yes. The only thing left to do is pick an evening to do it on. Right now, my feeling is that Sunday at six pacific standard time would be swellegant. Doing it during the week would be difficult for me because I don’t get home before seven-thirty usually. However, if Monday at seven-thirty works better than I am open to that. Let us all vote on whether it will be Sunday or Monday. Once we make that decision, then we shall schedule our very first live chat – we will have complete easy-to-follow instructions on how it will work. If we decide today, then we can have our first live chat this coming Sunday or Monday. Cast your vote. I cast Liza Minnelli as the vote, because her VH1 show is not happening.
It sure is spooky around these parts. There are cobwebs and eerie morning lights and the wind is howling “nevermore” because the fershluganah raven is smashed. Best of all, there are eight count them eight bags of little Halloween treats waiting for the little trick or treaters this evening. Given that I am on the Eileen and Chet Atkins diet I have had to exert great willpower not to rip open each and every one of those bags to gobble down the contents therein. But I have shown great restraint, dear readers, oh, yes, I have shown great restraint.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must be frightening and I must scare the daylights out of everyone because frankly I feel everyone has just a few too many daylights in them for their own good. After all, it is Halloween, a time for doing such things. I hope these notes haven’t been too too scary, but they are nothing, scary-wise, if we don’t have a big all-day/all-night Halloween bash here, with everyone in attendance. Yes, Virginia, everyone must attend or there will be raven’s a’knocking at your door who will be quothing “nevermore”. Today’s topic of discussion: What is your favorite Halloween story and costume that you’ve ever worn in the entire history of your life as you know it to be? Since that question was asked of me yesterday, my answer will appear on Saturday, but yours must appear as a postlude to these scary notes. Postlude away, my pretties.