Well, dear readers, finally the weekend has arrived and I for one say yippee kayiyay. I haven’t said yippee kayiyay in quite some time, have you? Perhaps we should all say yippee kayiyay so we can all have our Gene or Hoppy moment. Why, many many years ago, when I was a sprig of a twig of a tad of a lad I never missed Gene Autrey or Hopalong Cassidy or Annie Oakley (I loved Gail Davis) or The Lone Ranger or Wild Bill Hickock (has there ever been anyone else like Mr. Andy Devine?) or Roy and Dale and Trigger, and I always said yippee kayiyay, just like all of them (well, to be honest Trigger never said yippee kayiyay). Why am I suddenly waxing on about the wild west? Oh, because I said yippee kayiyay, that’s why I’m waxing on about the wild west. I guess that means that today’s notes will have a western flavor with shoot ’em ups and sarsaparilla and the old corral. These will be a wild bunch of notes, and I shall finish them long before high noon or even low eleven o’clock, they will have true grit as if they were written by the professionals. Perhaps the searchers will be here merrily searching away, perhaps I’ll go to the ATM and get a fistful of dollars because for a few dollars more I can go shopping and buy some of the good, the bad, and the ugly things that there are to buy these here days. Did you know, for example, that once upon a time in the west you could ride the high country in a stagecoach? Why, if you took the 3:10 to Yuma you could see the man from Laramie, who would then shoot his Winchester ’73 in the air, because he hadn’t had company in so long a time. What the hell am I talking about?
Howdy. Isn’t that a western way to start a new paragraph? Last night I watched the western entitled The World of Henry Orient. It wasn’t really a western, but since today’s notes must have a western flavor, like baked beans, we must carry on the conceit. The World of Henry Orient is actually an eastern, taking place in the city that never sleeps, New York, New York. It just came out on DVD in a lovely widescreen transfer. I hadn’t seen it in quite a few years, and it’s actually a film that has aged extremely well. It’s still delightful, the girls, Tippy Walker and Merrie Spaeth are really wonderful and the rest of the cast – well, they don’t make actors the way they used to. Peter Sellers as Henry Orient is terrific and funny, Paula Prentiss as his nervous neurotic would-be affair is so unique and hilarious you wonder if they could even cast such a role today. Angela Lansbury is amazing as Tippy Walker’s absolute bitch of a mother – with this and The Manchurian Candidate, I’m quite sure Miss Lansbury was every child’s nightmare vision of what a mother shouldn’t be. Phyllis Thaxter and Bibi Osterwald (the Broadway musical theater vet) are warm and wise as Merrie Spaeth’s mum and aunt. But for me, the film belongs to Tom Bosley as Val’s father. He and Miss Lansbury don’t appear until two-thirds of the way through the film, but once they do you can’t take your eyes off of them. Mr. Bosley is so great in this movie, so understated, dignified, warm, understanding – it’s just a perfect performance (he’s also great as a nebbish in Love With the Proper Stranger, from around the same time). And his scene where he consoles his daughter never fails to touch – wonderfully written and played by both Bosley and Walker. The score by Elmer Bernstein is beautiful (Mr. Henry Orient’s avant-garde “concerto” is by Ken Lauber – funnily, it’s not as avant-garde sounding today as it was back then. I really recommend this. After I was through watching it I searched the girls on the Internet and here is what I found. Tippy is currently a writer and artist, has never been married, and owns a small storefront gallery near Yale. Merrie worked as Ronald Reagan’s public relations coordinator and has a very successful public relations-related business which you can read all about at spaethcom.com.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Let’s all click on the Unseemly Button below before I whip out my six-shooter and fill this section with lead. Besides, don’t I have some excellent questions to answer?
Do you know what I feel like saying? I feel like saying yippee kayiyay, because now I get to answer all your excellent questions. So, without further delay, said answers.
Jose asks if there is any particular theatrical event that I wish I’d been witness to? Yes, opening night of Gypsy. What has been one of my favorite nights in the theater? Oh, so many, but I cherish the original production of Follies, a preview of A Chorus Line, Promises, Promises on Broadway. Have I ever been to the Tony Awards? Nope.
William E. Lurie asks what is my opinion of the Gilbert and Sullivan operettas? I’m not all that familiar with them, but the few I’ve seen I’ve enjoyed all right. Not my favorites though.
Steveg asks how I get my CDs and DVDs before their release dates and do I get them for free. I only get CDs before release dates if someone sends them to me – those, of course, are free – otherwise I purchase. I get DVDs ahead of street dates because I’m friendly with the owner of a DVD store and he is kind enough to sell them to me the previous Friday or Saturday.
Ben asks why Scott Schecter, the producer of The Judy Garland Show: The Show that Got Away CD, thanks me in his liner notes at the end of the booklet. I had no idea he’d done it. When I was at Varese and then subsequently at the label I created, I had many conversations with Scott, and we’d planned to do some things together – which never worked out. So, I suppose it’s maybe because of that, although I can’t be sure. Did I ever see Miss Judy Garland live, and if so, where? Well, I saw her live a few times, but not performing (well, she was always performing in one way or another), because I was friendly with Lorna Luft when I was but a wee sprig of a twig of a lad of a youth.
JMK thinks it’s been a banner year for cast album reissues and wonders what would be my next five choices for CD versions of cast albums. Well, we certainly don’t want to give anybody any ideas, but I’d like to have A Time for Singing on CD, I’d like to have Virginia Woolf on CD (I was going to do it, but the royalties were unreasonably high and it would have been a huge loser), I’d like to have A Thurber Carnival on CD (no one would buy it, but I want it anyway), I’d like to have the McGuire Sisters doing Subways are for Sleeping on CD, and on and on.
Arnold M. Brockman thinks it’s time for Hollywood to give South Pacific another go as a film. I think South Pacific is doomed, film-wise. With the horrendous Glenn Close version, that effectively puts the kibosh on anyone doing it again for quite some time. If it were done, who would I like to see in the leads? Very difficult – ten years ago I would have said if Meg Ryan could sing she would have been fine. What other musical movies would I like to see made over? Well, certainly we could use a good Man of La Mancha, a good Fiddler on the Roof (I know some people like it – I find it truly awful) – I’d even like to see Lost Horizon, the Bacharach version, done really well – same score, new script, good director and choreographer, and a great cast. Call me crazy.
S. Woody White asks what leading roles in musicals could be considered “villains” and cites Mama Rose. Oh, I suppose both Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett. In certain ways, even J. Pierrepont Finch, that supreme user and go-getter, as lovable as he is. Let’s see… Is Michael Crawford a villain in Dance of the Vampires? Was he a villain in Phantom of the Opera (depends on which character you talk to, I suppose).
Michael Shayne asks if I will be restoring Where Is A Man to the stage version of Nudie. I’m not there yet, but certainly that is in the cards at this moment. I’m still trying to figure out how to best maximize the character of Eunice – I have certain restrictions in terms of the size of the cast, and am trying to make that work. Will I restore I’ll Kick You With Boots or the plumber scene? No to both. I have created a huge new production number, though, for Act Two, in which the stunt person will take part. However, I will not divulge the nature of the number – I can tell you, though, it’s quite in keeping with some of the more outrageous things. Finally Michael asks just what did co-director Mark Haggard do. Well, we planned the film together, shot-wise, in rehearsals. I solely directed the actors, and mostly did the blocking of the scenes. As the shooting went on, however, he did less and less. And the entire Dancing Dildos scene, from the long dolly shot of the donuts through me getting off the crane at the end of the number, was all directed by me alone – he was totally off the film by then. He also had nothing to do with any of the post-production. The MPAA number on Nudie Musical was 24372 – what is number one in the MPAA numbers, Michael wants to know. I haven’t the foggiest or even the smoggiest.
Philip Crosby asks me to cast the following in already existing musical roles in which I think they’d be great.
Liza Minnelli – Frau Schneider in Cabaret
Lorna Luft – hmmm.
Rita Moreno – Frau Schneider in Cabaret
Sandy Duncan – Frau – well, maybe not.
Bette Midler – Call Me Madam
Goldie Hawn – Bells are Ringing
Tommy Tune – Frau Schneider
Philip asks why a movie trailer is called a trailer. That is an interesting question. It would be easier to answer if coming attractions followed films rather than preceded them. Perhaps original coming attractions of old were cut in a trailer park.
Tom from Oz asks if I enjoyed the biopix of the late 50s, such as The Glen Miller Story, The Eddy Duchin Story, The Gene Krupa Story and The Benny Goodman Story. I was quite a sucker for those kinds of films, although none of those got to me like The Jolson Story did. Whose life story would I like to see depicted on the screen? Ethel Merman.
Jed has some Nudie Musical questions: I’ve mentioned writing a number of new songs for the stage version. Are all the old songs remaining in the show or are some getting axed? And what about Where Is A Man? As of this writing, all the songs that are actually in the film will be in the stage version (with the exception, of course, of Diana Canova’s “audition” song – in the film it’s La Cucaracha – on stage I’ve written something original for that spot). Most of the new songs are plot and character driven things that I couldn’t possibly have done for the film. Harry and Rosie have a song at the end of the first scene, Harry and John have a song at the end of their first scene – things like that. I’ve addressed Where Is A Man in an earlier answer.
William F. Orr asks if once the film of The Faculty got made, was I happy with it and did it reflect my original idea? The concept and the story and structure were pretty much faithful to what David and I wrote in our original screenplay. Kevin Williamson hipped it up, made it an ensemble film, changed every single line of dialogue (not always for the better) and changed every name save for two – Miss Drake remained the same, and he gave the hero our leading lady’s name, Casey. I was happy the film got made and I thought Kevin and Robert did a good job with it. In certain ways, our script had a few more fun elements, and the hero was more of a hero.
Wilby Daniels asks what a “shaggy dog” story is – I’m not even sure, maybe someone else can answer. It’s one of those expressions you instinctively know the meaning of until someone actually asks you to explain it. I suppose it’s a story that seems real but really isn’t.
Ron Pulliam asks about the fee AFTRA tried to get me to pay to reup. Since they said they’d never received my letter of withdrawal, they listed me as “suspended”. I argued that if I’d ever received a letter from them regarding a suspension, I would have done something about it. I absolutely sent them a letter, however. They wanted over a thousand bucks and I simply refused and we went back and forth and then settled on a very reasonable number that made all of us happy.
Kerry asks on the records I’ve produced which is more expensive and time consuming: using several background vocalists or having the artist record several overdubs? First off, it depends on the track and what you’re after. On Liz Callaway’s The Story Goes On album, the whole idea behind Gonna Wash That Man was that all the vocals would be her. On other albums, we’ve had a group of singers. If the group is good and quick, I prefer that – the whole thing just goes much faster. One person doing their own always tends to be a pain in the behind and seems to take forever. What food that isn’t on my Eileen and Chet Atkins diet will I cheat for? I won’t be cheating for at least a month, so I can’t think about that right now or I shall cheat immediately.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I’m a varmint who must vamoose because the cleaning lady is giving me the evil eye. Before I skeedaddle, I will tell you that early next week the long-promised interview with Mr. Buddy Bregman will be appearing. As I think I’ve mentioned, Mr. Bregman’s interview was originally a novella, so long and unwieldy that it defeated Mr. Craig Brockman and Miss Susan Gordon’s considerable editing efforts. I, however, finally got to it yesterday, and because this is what I do every day these days, find sound bites, weed out the crap from the gems, I was able to go through it, make sense of it and get it down to a wonderfully concise interview in one hour. No Unseemly Trivia Contest today – I’ve decided it’s going to be twice a month – so the next contest is next Saturday. Today’s topic of discussion – what are your favorite movies or shows in which a child or children are the leading characters? I’ll start – The World of Henry Orient, To Kill a Mockingbird, The Rocking Horse Winner, Oliver!, Hand in Hand, The Miracle Worker, and on and on. Your turn – and of course talk about anything else you care to. Let’s not let Saturday slow us down, let’s shout yippee kayiyay and whoop it up here at haineshisway.com.