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November 7, 2002:

THE DULY NOTED NOTES

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, we are up and running and all is well with the world. Thank you all for being patient and understanding about our little hiccup here at haineshisway.com. Yes, Virginia, we had a little hiccup here at haineshisway.com but we are fine and dandy and also dandy and fine now. We are happening, we are once again the hippest most happening place on all the Internet. We are cool, man, cool, and we are the ginchiest. We are boss, rad, the bomb, the oats, the fern, the gouda, the strawberry short cake, the beef jerky – this is the place to be although for twelve hours this wasn’t the place to be since this wasn’t a place. Well, there’s no place like home, and now we have our home, our little corner of the sky – oh, a Stephen Schwartz reference. What the hell am I talking about?

Now, as you know, yesterday was Ask BK Day, and yet it wasn’t, because of our little hiccup. So, today is Ask BK Day even though yesterday was Ask BK Day. Certain people did ask a handful of questions, which have been duly noted, oh, yes, they have been duly noted. Therefore, please ask your excellent questions today and I shall duly note them, and then I shall answer your excellent questions which, by the way (BTW, in Internet lingo) have been duly noted, on Saturday.

Last night I watched a documentary about the making of the motion picture entitled The Misfits, which was written by Arthur Miller, and which starred Mr. Clark Gable, Mr. Montgomery Clift, Mr. Eli Wallach and, of course, Miss Marilyn Monroe. There are some wonderful bits in it and some lovely behind-the-scenes stills and footage. And unlike the MGM/UA DVD of the film, this documentary has the film scenes enhanced for widescreen tvs and they look gorgeous. The film was a muddled mess, and this documentary shows why.

I then started watching a motion picture I have never seen, Mr. William Wyler’s The Good Fairy. So far it is very enjoyable if not exactly brilliant. It is very whimsical, and Mr. Wyler’s strong suit is not exactly whimsy. The screenplay (from a Molnar play) is by the brilliant Preston Sturges, who does do whimsy very well. And the cast is wonderful – Margaret Sullavan, Frank Morgan, Herbert Marshall – I’ll report more after I’ve finished it.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Let’s just all click on the Unseemly Button because I’m quite certain there will be fascinating things in the next section.

Well, you see, I have jumped the gun – I see no fascinating things in this here section, but then again, the day is young even if I am not. There well may be fascinating things in this here section, then again there may not be, depending on which way the wind is blowing. For example, the wind is now blowing to the left – that bodes well for fascinating things in this here section. However, should the wind suddenly start blowing to the right, well, then, I will have jumped the gun. And just why am I jumping a fershluganah gun? Isn’t that dangerous? Couldn’t the fershluganah gun go off? Then where would I be? Well, it would depend on which way the fershluganah gun was facing, I suppose. Do you know what I have just discovered? I have just discovered that I don’t have a clue as to what in tarnation I am going on about. I have no idea what this entire paragraph is about. Perhaps I jumped the gun by saying there might be fascinating things in this here section, and I have duly noted this in my duly notebook.

My goodness, that was a weird paragraph. That paragraph was weird, there are no one or two ways about it, although there might be three ways about it. Has anyone noticed that I may have just jumped the gun about the fascinating things which I have duly noted?

Well, I would not be me if I didn’t write what I’m about to write. Take it for whatever it is worth. There are times, dear readers, when I do not understand the world I live in. There are times, dear readers, when I do not understand the human race. I just get baffled, frankly. Yesterday was one of those days. I am done trying to puzzle it out, but I just have to sit and scratch my head sometimes. There, I’ve said it and I’m glad. I have scratched my head and I have duly noted said scratching.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must get in my clean automobile and drive to Woodland Hills where I shall sit in a room without windows all the live-long day. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? Today’s topic of discussion: Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask all your excellent questions that you should have asked yesterday but didn’t because of the hiccup we had here at haineshisway.com, which I have duly noted. Ask away, my pretties.

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