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November 30, 2002:

THE SATURDAY SHUFFLE

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, the cleaning lady is here and she is giving me the evil eye and additionally she’s giving Luckie the evil eye, too, so we both have to skeedaddle out of here. Luckiely, I have answered all of your excellent questions, but unluckiely I haven’t had time to do the trivia question.

Last night I watched the brand spanking new DVD of The Producers with Zero Mostel and Gene Wilder. It looks great, sounds great (I don’t much care for the 5.1 remix, but the mono sounds just fine and dandy and also dandy and fine). There’s one of those annoying Laurent Bouzareau, or whatever the hell his name is, documentaries, but it does have some fun stuff with Mel and the gang. The film remains hilarious when it’s hilarious and strained when it’s strained (I’ve never loved the last ten minutes or so), but it’s such a wonderful example of a comedy that knows what it’s doing and why it’s funny that it’s just breathtaking to watch it take the chances it takes. Zero and Gene are both wonderful in it, as are the rest of the cast.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? I also picked up The Thief of Bagdhad (same old transfer from the laserdisc, which is a bloody shame), The Children’s Hour (ditto), Legend of the Lost (bad movie, but a guilty pleasure – it looks pretty good, too), and most importantly A Kiss Before Dying, the first version with Robert Wagner and Joanne Woodward, from the novel by Ira Levin. There’s no real way to film the novel successfully, but this version is not bad, with the exception of the awful musical score, which is comprised of variations on the awful title song (yes, Virginia, the lyric “a kiss before dying”). The director, Gerd Oswald, was always underappreciated (his work on The Outer Limits was the best of anyone who worked on that show) and it’s a lovely enhanced transfer to boot. If you haven’t read the book, find a copy and read it before viewing the movie. It’s one of the great first novels in the thriller genre.

Has anyone noticed that I am just shuffling along on a Saturday? Just meandering along, just moseying along. Has anyone ever done the Soupy Shuffle? It’s very close to the Saturday shuffle only with soup. What the hell am I talking about?

Well, perhaps we ought to click on the Unseemly Button below because the cleaning lady’s evil eye is working overtime right now.

Well, shall we get right to the answers to your excellent questions? We shall and we shall.

Jrand55 asks when I produced the CD of Ronald Stein’s filmmusic, Not of this Earth did I work from original materials, the film soundtrack itself or a combination. How much music was recorded for Attack of the 50ft. Woman, which is included on the CD? We worked from Mr. Stein’s own personal tapes (given to us by his widow, Harlene) which were in excellent condition. I don’t recall how much more of 50ft. Woman there was, but what’s on the album are the choice bits.

JMK asks have I ever been to Wisconsin and if so did I survive? I do believe I was in Wisconsin, Eau Claire to be precise. It was in 1967, I was doing a little tour of a play called Do You Know the Milky Way with a group called The Bishop’s Company. I’d taken two months off of college to do it, and we played all over the United States of America. In each town, there was always a family who put us up. The reason I remember Eau Claire is because there was a teenage daughter in the family I stayed with, very pretty and we chatted for several hours after the play. She wanted to be an actress and she dreamed of coming to Hollywood one day. I never saw her or talked to her again after that night, but I always remembered her name. Several years later, I went to see Aloha Bobby and Rose with Paul LeMat, and by gum and by golly if the female lead in the film wasn’t being played by that very same Eau Claire girl – Dianne Hull. Oh, and yes, I survived.

William E. Lurie asks who cooked my Thanksgiving turkey and what other dishes would we be partaking of. He asked that prior to Thursday’s notes, but if anyone missed the menu, it’s in yesterday’s notes and Thursday’s posts.

Matthew asks where all the manuscripts for film scores end up after they are used? Well, nowadays I think they take care of that sort of thing, but many classic film score manuscripts were destroyed as a matter of course in the old days – which is why people like John Morgan and Bill Stromberg (who restore film scores for Marco Polo) labor mightily to preserve what’s been lost. If a performer is playing a role in a professional show, does that performer have the right to record his/her songs from the show – is that in the contract. If you’re talking about a cast recording of an Equity show, normally there is what they call a cast album rider in the contract which guarantees each cast member the right to record. I remember when I agreed to do john and jen that one of the reasons I agreed was that Michele Pawk was playing the role originated by Carolee Carmello. However, there was a big brouhaha and Carolee (who was excellent) ended up doing the recording, despite the fact that Michele was actually playing the show.

Allan asks how long a copyright lasts and if people can keep renewing copyrights until the cows come home. If I recall correctly, copyright lasts 28 years and was renewable once for another 28 years. But, something has changed in the last couple of years so it’s a bit different now – and I’m just not sure what the change was/is. When I was at Varese Sarabande, Allan remembers seeing some reference to a Judy Kuhn album called Great Ladies of the Stage – what happened to it. Allan has the album right, but is just a teensy bit off on the singer, which was/is Judy Kaye not Judy Kuhn. We did a “great ladies of the stage” and then a followup, “great ladies of the screen”.

Tom from Oz asks if I’ve ever had to escape or run for my life from a natural occurance? Not really – although I’ve been through my share of earthquakes. If I had to rescue something from my home (other than Luckie) what would be the item I would try to take to safety. I really don’t know. I’d say some painting or something, but really if it’s just one item I don’t know. Thankfully all my memorabilia is in storage and hopefully safe and sound.

Jose asks if I keep my own personal archive of all the recordings I’ve produced, the films I’ve been in, the commercials, etc. Well, I certainly have copies of all the CDs I’ve done over the years, and I certainly have copies of all the films I’ve written and directed. I don’t have copies of every TV show I’ve guested on or even every film I’ve appeared in. I have quite a few, mind you, but not all. I’ve only got three or four of the hundred or more commercials I’ve done. Have I ever had deep-fried turkey? No, but I once had broiled egypt. We don’t allow groaning here at haineshisway.com. Did I ever work with Mary Martin? I wish.

Laura asks what are my favorite Forbidden Broadway bits? I’ve never been a huge fan of the series, but I did like Teeny Todd and the Mandy Patinkin thing, and I could watch Christine Pedi do Liza all day long.
George asks what is my least favorite traditional Thanksgiving dish? I don’t really have a least favorite traditional dish, I like it all. What’s my most favorite dish? If it’s made well, stuffing.

Jed asks if I prefer dark or white meat in turkey. White, always. Do I prefer wet or dry stuffing? Well, dry, unless by wet you mean with gravy, in which case I like both. Jellied cranberries or the lumpen kind? The lumpen kind.

Michael Shayne asks have I ever been up for a role where it got down to me and one other person and the other person got the role? Several times. It was between my friend Mike Lembeck and I to play Mackenzie Phillips’ boyfriend/husband on One Day at a Time. He got it, damn his eyes, although it was very close and right down to the wire. On the other hand it happened the other way around several times, too, where I got the part. Have I ever turned down a role that I later regretted turning down or did I choose correctly in turning it down. Only twice in my acting career did I turn down film or TV work – one was an episode of Baretta, simply because I’d heard nothing but horror stories about Robert Blake and how he loved to improvise and be nasty to everyone, and I just felt it wasn’t worth the aggravation, and I never regretted that decision for one second. I also turned down a rather substantial role in a teen comedy called The Seniors, directed by Dobie Gillis’s Rod Amateau. It was a fun part and I would have done it, but they insisted that I show my actual real-life butt cheeks and I refused and turned it down. What well known song would I choose to be the theme from Bruce Kimmel’s life? Too difficult to choose, but my novel Benjamin Kritzer has several that I would be perfectly comfy with (and so does its sequel). What do I think of songs that were not songs to begin with, like several movie themes – Love Story, The Godfather, Dr. Zhivago. There have been some okay ones, but usually I find the lyrics strained and trite. I recently heard Claudine Longet do Rosemary’s Baby with lyrics and it was totally ludicrous.

Craig has his usual mini-plethora of questions: Have I seen the animated film Ice Age. I watched the first ten minutes, but haven’t had the time to watch the rest, but I shall. It’s well-known that Ira Gershwin wrote “dummy” lyrics to many of the Gershwin songs – do I use that methodology? No – to expend all that effort on dummy lyrics is silly to me – I just write the lyric and it takes the time it takes. If I can’t come up with a line, I just hum until I do. If I could cast myself in a remake of any movie what would it be and what role would I take on? Although I’m probably a bit long in the tooth for it now, I would absolutely love to play the Danny Kaye role in The Court Jester. How about a TV show? Well, I suppose I’d like to play Laurie Partridge’s boyfriend – oh, wait a minute, I did. Is there a song that will always bring a smile to my face whenever I hear it. Too many to list here – but yes. Again, see my novel, which is filled with them. Is there a song that I absolutely have to turn off when it’s played because it’s too painful? Well, in a way, Not a Day Goes By is one of those – very difficult for me to listen to that one for various reasons.

Kerry asks what are my five favorite advertising icons? Oh, I always loved the little Coppertone girl getting her bathing suit pulled down by the dog. I like Bob’s Big Boy, I like any Coca-Cola classic ad with a beautiful gal in it, I like Chiquita Banana, and quite a few others.

Td asks what my feelings are regarding fate, predestiny, synchronicity and esp. I believe in all of them, some more strongly than others. I especially believe in synchronicity and fate. I’ve had an experience or two with esp, so I sort of accept that it exists – I don’t really know from predestiny.

Sandra asks if I’ve ever had a horrid dream (she had had one when she asked the question) and then stayed awake the rest of the night because I didn’t want to have another. I’ve certainly had my share of horrid dreams (some related within past notes) but no, I’ve never stayed awake all night so I wouldn’t have another.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must go hither and thither and also yon, I must do errands, I must write, I must do the Saturday shuffle, I must eat foodstuffs as permitted by Eileen and Chet Atkins and I must watch the DVDs. I promise we’ll have a trivia contest next week and it will be a doozy. Don’t forget, tomorrow is our next live chat – be there or be square. In fact, be there or be round. Be there or be rectangular for all I care, just be there because our chats are more fun than a barrelful of wombats. Today’s topic of discussion: What is currently in you CD player and what’s in your DVD or video player? And, of course, feel free to discuss any other old thing that might come up.

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