Well, dear readers, you learn something every day. Here, for example, is what I learned this very morning while Luckie and I were having our morning constitutional: Over the years people would tell me they were buying something from someplace called Creighton Barrel. I didn’t know what it was, what they sold, although it did sound vaguely English to me. Well, imagine my surprise when a truck pulled up at a neighbor’s house and on the side of said truck were the words Crate and Barrel. I thought to myself, myself that sounds just like Creighton Barrel, and then it hit me like a Crate and Barrel – all these years I’d been wrong. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I, BK, was wrong all these years, Crate and Barrel-wise. Isn’t that somewhat funny? Isn’t that somewhat too too?
That story reminds me of the Beach Boys song California Girls. For years I thought they were singing Lipstick on the seat California Girls rather than Wish they all could beat California Girls. In fact, when someone finally had the good taste to correct me I refused to believe it for a week and listened to the song over and over again to make certain what the correct lyric was. I still think Lipstick on the seat California girls is better.
We are back on track with answering your excellent questions on Thursday. So, the answers are forthcoming in the next section. Crate and Barrel – that just slays me.
Well, my answers to your excellent questions are particularly long-winded so let’s get to them by clicking on the Unseemly Button below.
Oh, I promised to tell you the little story that went along with running into that old pal of mine in Palm Springs – if you missed the note she wrote me it is in yesterday’s posts. I met her in 1970 (she was sixteen, I think) when I, for a really short time, took part in a show that had been running for years in LA called The Drunkard, which starred William Jarvis (he was also the adaptor and director). I can’t remember who I played or anything about the show other than that I sang an endless song called Pussy in the Bag. I joined the show with one rehearsal and went on the following night, although I had to have a cheat sheet with me for the song (I think it was something like twelve choruses). We did the show for several weeks at some restaurant in the Valley, and Joanie was the pianist. Then, as I recall, we had a month or two off while Mr. Jarvis found a new restaurant to perform in. I got a call and was given an address to show up at on a Saturday night for our first show. I certainly didn’t recognize the name of the restaurant but the address I recognized immediately. Why, you ask and I will answer you because today is the day I answer your excellent questions. Because, Ripley’s believe it or not, the address was the very same as the restaurant my father had owned. I couldn’t believe it, but when I showed up there it was indeed my father’s old restaurant, which he’d closed in 1966. What are the odds of that, I ask you? It was so strange performing the show there, creepy really. And our dressing room was in the office of the restaurant. I’ll just bet the combination to the safe therein was the same as it was when my father owned the place. I, of course, knew that combination like the back of my hand, but I was a good and upstanding fellow and did nothing. Joanie and I had a great time doing the show – before it would start, I’d join her at the piano and we’d play duets. Our most popular was Raindrops Keep Fallin’ On My Head. And now, on to your excellent questions.
William E. Lurie asks if I will once again be answering Wednesday’s questions on Thursday, now that I am not working at the television show. Well, the answer appears to be yes, by golly and by gum. Do I know the date yet for the Tourette Syndrome benefit in New York, New York. I most certainly do – it’s Monday March 3rd and we’re gearing up in earnest right this very minute. We’re all very excited about it – we have put together and even better version of the Baja Marimba Band for the New York concert (some of the LA players couldn’t make the trip) and while we’ve only just started to think of talent, we have Diana Canova, and from LA, David Naughton, Tammy Minoff and Christa Jackson (wait’ll you hear her). And Dave Frishberg, too. I have some terrific people in mind and will be announcing the cast as they agree to do it. What do I think of Broadway producers who know an above-the-title performer in going to be out of the show on certain dates but continue to advertise that performer as if he or she will not be missing any performances? Well, sometimes the above-the-title performer has it in their contract that they are always advertised whether they’re there or not. Sometimes it’s not the fault of the producers at all. What I find more worrisome is the habit of today’s breed of above-the-title performers who book out for other things. That never happened very much in the old days. Ethel Merman didn’t book out, Carol Channing didn’t book out – they’re job was starring in a show and they rarely if ever missed a performance and certainly they didn’t miss them because they’d taken a job somewhere else for a night. Do I think that previews on Broadway should be lower-priced than performances after opening, since the show is still being refined. That’s the way it used to be, of course, but from what I understand it is no longer financially viable to do it with the costs of running the show so high. I do find it annoying, though, to pay top dollar to see sets not working, or hear songs which haven’t been orchestrated yet or performers going up on lines because they don’t know them yet. Finally, what child is this who lay to rest? Why, Luckie, of course. That’s all she does all day long – first she has a few yelps and pees and then, exhausted from such activity, she rests. She actually had no incidents yesterday, so that’s a good thing.
Philip Crosby asks what is my favorite Disney animated feature? Oh, I have a soft spot for Peter Pan and Lady and the Tramp, and I certainly like Beauty and the Beast. Who is my favorite unlikely musical theater performer? Well, I suppose Twiggy would be unlikely, but I love her and love to watch her do anything. And Lou Diamond Phillips certainly knocked my socks off in a totally unexpected way.
Jrand55 asks what I think is the most honest celebrity autobiography I’ve read. I haven’t read all that many, really, but I liked Veronica Lake’s book, which I thought was very interesting. I liked Twiggy’s book because, after all, she did mention me. I like Mr. Akira Kurosawa’s Something Like an Autobiography. How do I suppose Debbie Reynolds celebrates Christmas. Hmmm. Perhaps she sings Tammy whilst drinking egg nog. Perhaps she sings the song Meltz and Ernest wrote for her (but which she didn’t record), Sammy. Did I get Jrand’s order for Benjamin Kritzer? I did and it is on its merry way.
Sandra asks if I put up a Christmas tree. I used to all the time, but I haven’t since I’ve been in this house, because I just can’t find the right place to put it. Maybe next year I’ll figure it out. Sandra saw a Louis Armstrong doll that sings Hello, Dolly! when you push a button. Does Jerry Herman get a check for two cents every time one of those is sold? First of all, may I just say that I find the concept of a Louis Armstrong doll frightening? I’m sure Mr. Jerry Herman gets some kind of interesting royalty on the doll, but I don’t have a clue as to what it might be. What should Sandra send her two cousins for Christmas? One is Hindu and one is Buddhist. I think you should send the Hindu a statue of Buddha and I think you should send the Buddhist a statue of Hindah.
Arnold M. Brockman asks when we’ll be seeing a photo of Luckie. Mr. Mark Bakalor and I are getting together next week to discuss a few additions to the site, one of which will be a proper photo gallery. We’ll also finally have our FAQ section and we’re about to deal with the whole chat room issue. So, stay tuned.
Michael Shayne forgot to ask about Judy Kuhn and Linda Purl, to see what I thought about working with them. Judy is very opinionated but I really enjoyed doing her album, and she is really a gifted performer and actress and we got along just fine and dandy. I wasn’t pleased with some of the arrangements on her album, but other than that the whole experience was terrific and I’d work with her anytime. Linda is amazing – just the easiest person to work with and she loves direction and she loves the studio and we had a ball. What is the story behind Carol Burnett, Jackee Harry, Sinbad and Woody Woodpecker laughing on I Love to Laugh on Michelle Nicastro’s Reel Imagination album? You know, I don’t remember anymore. I think she went and got all those people on tape, doing their laugh, that’s my memory. A little known fact is that Guy Haines is also laughing in there, too. Is there really a Vineland Gospel Chorus? No, we made up the name (the studio was on Vineland) – it was all friends of Michelle, Lanny and I. Do I keep all reviews (good and bad) of my recordings? I only keep bad ones if they’re funny. I have piles of reviews in storage somewhere, so I guess the answer is yes. Where did the concept of the hidden track come from and was I the first producer to do it? I will go out on a limb and say yes, I was the first to do it for theater music albums. Hidden tracks had been done on rock albums although I’d never heard one. I just decided to do one and once we did the one it just spiraled from there. Of course, others have now done it but for theater albums I do believe we were the first. For hidden tracks do I prefer a song like Disneyland on Michelle Nicastro’s On My Own album, sound effects or just plain fooling around? I like doing whatever is spontaneous and fun. How did it become Emily Skinner and Alice Ripley and not the other way around? They decided – I think it had something to do with the way they were positioned in Side Show.
Kerry says I seem to have a knack for choosing material for Mr. Guy Haines. Have there been songs that I picked that just didn’t work after you tried them? No, they all worked, I think. The only one we scrapped was Here’s That Rainy Day – someday I’ll let people hear it I suppose, but it just wasn’t what either of us had hoped for. Terry Trotter did a fine job playing it, but it was just too slow and drawn out. And thank God it was, because we replaced it with the devoon You Must Believe in Spring.
KT, our newest dear reader, asks if I tried coaxing Luckie out from under the table with puppy treats. Yes, but first, prior to coming out, she yelps and pees as if I were grinding a stiletto heel into her nostril. Can I conjure up a Golem house-boy for KT? Possibly – we’re expecting some Golems on Christmas Eve. What is a V day? Yesterday was a V day – a day in which there were too too many words which started with the letter V.
Mark L. asks how I met/chose Niki Harris to provide taps on many of my albums. I think Walter Willison must have introduced us, because I think she’d been part of the whole Grand Hotel thing. She’s wildly wonderful and a grand person.
JMK asks what is the most amount of material I’ve managed to get final takes of in one day? Well, on our orchestra dates we routinely did the whole album – sixteen songs. Not all of them with the full band, of course. And there were only final takes, as I don’t save – I do takes until we get the right one and then we move on. Scratch vocals are done on the orchestra date, and then there’s usually an additional two or three days of vocal takes after that. On cast albums, of course, you normally do the entire album in one day – so a show like Little Me, which is quite a long CD, was done in nine hours (we’d gotten really good by then and had it down to a science – I don’t know any other show album producers who could do these things in less time on a regular basis). Do I know other Jews, beside myself, who celebrate Christmas? Sure, quite a few. We all celebrate it in the normal Christmas way.
Craig asks if I remember what song was playing when I had my first kiss? Well, you’ll read about it in the sequel to Benjamin Kritzer, but I had my first real kiss sitting in the back row of the Four Star Theater and the song in the film (and the film’s title) was Where the Boys Are. What was I doing when Kennedy was shot, when Challenger blew up, and 9/11. I was in high school when Kennedy was shot, and they let us all go home. I honestly don’t remember where I was when Challenger blew up. 9/11 – I was awakened quite early in the morning with a phone call from Vinnie who said, “The world is ending.” What are my plans for New Years? I never make plans on New Year’s Eve or day. I like to be alone on New Year’s Eve, to contemplate and make resolutions and the like (I may go out this New Year’s Eve, but I’ll be home by ten if I do). If my local DVD store does indeed bite the dust, does that mean I won’t get advance copies of DVDs? No, because I get them from a different store. What are the top five DVDs that aren’t out yet that I’d want to own. Li’l Abner, of course. And The Magnificent Ambersons (although one is on its merry way from merry France), Once Upon a Time in America, Once Upon A Time in the West, Fellini’s The White Sheik and La Dolce Vita and I Vitteloni and a hundred others. What extras would I want on them? Oh I never really care that much about the extras – whatever would be fine with me. What’s the best advice someone has ever given you? Oh, that’s too tough and broad – so, I’ll tell you the wonderful advice someone gave me on writing my book. I was complaining about how every time I’d start a new chapter it was like I’d never written anything before. It was really hard for me. The brilliant advice was don’t finish the chapter and stop. Either stop in the middle of a sentence or at the end of a paragraph, and that way, when you pick up the next time it will get your head right back into the scene, get you flowing and then back into the process. That advice never failed. Is there one teacher that inspired me the most? I’m afraid you will have to read the sequel to Benjamin Kritzer – I can’t give away everything, you know.
Jose asks if I ever long for snow now that I am based in LA? I love snow, but I can’t say I long for it, as I’ve always been based in LA – I’m an LA baby. Was there ever a session where the singer was sick but the finished product showed no signs of it. Oh, several times I think that sort of thing happened. Guy Haines had been sick as a dog, but both of us were pleased with the album. Dorothy Loudon was terribly ill when we did Night of the Hunter, but it ended up working for us and she is delightful on that album. Was there ever a session where someone was sick and we just had to scrap it because we weren’t going to get a good take? Sure. Sal Viviano was really sick when we did the Cinderella album – I did many takes, but I knew he wouldn’t be happy with them, so I replaced him on the album with Jason Graae. Christianne Noll was sick when we did the Sondheim album, but she came back a day or two later and we redid the parts we needed to – same with Susan Egan on some song or other. What album took the longest from initial concept to final production and pressing? I’d say A Broadway Love Story. It took eight months for me to get the song selections to work, to do the arrangements of them and get the “story” right. In fact, we were still putzing around with it two weeks before the session. And which album took a lot more studio time that I’d planned for? I don’t really think we had anything that really went over like that.
Well, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write until the cows come home, I must eat foodstuffs, I must pick up my Christmas cards and send them out pronto. Today’s topic of discussion: I think someone brought this up weeks ago, but since I wrote about it today, what lyrics have you totally misunderstood (like Lipstick on the seat California girls) and had wrong for years? Or, what names (like Crate and Barrel) have you misunderstood? Topic two: Our very own Mr. Donald Feltham had a reading of the musical he wrote the book for, which is called Flight. Someone came on a chat board and roundly criticized it, rather viciously if you ask me. Now, I have been critical of workshops and readings for years – no more so than now, where these authors invite everyone and their mother and somehow the readings are filled with regular theatergoers. I find it an incredibly non-productive way to go about things. What is your opinion on this matter? Post away, my pretties.