Well, dear readers, I can’t believe it. And yet, it is true, so I must believe it. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, I can’t believe it, pinch me to see if I am awake – oh, a Bricusse and Newley reference. And just what in tarnation is it that I can’t and yet must believe? Why, it is the simple fact that this, Tuesday, is the final day of the year 2002. And what a year it was. A roller coaster ride to rival the finest at any theme park. And we will be both celebrating and hurling the occasional brickbat while we look back at the year that was. This, dear readers, is the only site on all the Internet that you will need to peruse on this most unusual day. And why is that? Well, I’ll tell you why because to withhold such information from you would be unseemly and would mark me a wazoo. And while I may be many things to many people, I am a wazoo to no one. I’m going to do today’s notes in a most unusual fashion (pink cashmere sweater and pedal-pushers) – I will be adding to them via posts as they day goes by. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Tonight, of course, we will be having our rockin’ New Year’s Eve celebration right here at haineshisway.com. Here, where it is safe and sound and where you may drink as much Diet Coke as you please and then not have to worry about a designated driver. We will, of course, be having cheese slices and ham chunks, we will be wearing our pointy rockin’ New Year’s Eve party hats, our colored tights and pantaloons and we will dance the Hora and also the Herky Jerky. Oh, what fun we shall be having, as we put away the old and bring in the new.
So, let us all click on the Unseemly Button below as we reminisce about 2002.
First of all, we all survived. That is a good thing. We’ve survived many obstacles although said obstacles were hurled mightily and often in our paths. We’ve survived uncouth interlopers, we’ve survived those who tried their hardest to destroy us, we’ve survived merry searchers, and the fact is, we will always strive to survive because that is the way to stay alive and we must always be stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive – oh, a Bee Gees reference. The roller coaster ride was amazing – the ups, the downs, the twists, the turns – why it was enough to make anyone throw up. The highs were highs and the lows were lows, but as long as we can somehow appreciate the highs and learn from and move on from the lows then things will always be fine.
What am I, Deepak Chopra all of a sudden? Or is it Tupac Chopra. Or is it Sixpack Deepak? I’ve survived Luckie thus far, and she has survived me thus far. She has a new thing she likes to do – while I am sleeping she likes to go into the den where I have a Web TV keyboard (don’t ask) which I keep on the coffee table, and she likes to knock it to the ground. She gets great satisfaction from doing so, it just tickles her pink (no mean feat).
So, I promised you my end-of-year bests and I will be doing that via posts if only I can think of films and theater bests this year. CDs, no problem at all. For me, personally, the highs have been finishing my second novel, doing the Nudie Musical DVD, and then doing the adaptation for the stage, making a deal to make my upcoming film (all will be revealed regarding that the second week of January), and meeting some of you Hainsies/Kimlets in the flesh. Another high was directing the Tourette’s Syndrome benefit, and I’m looking forward to doing it again in March. Another high is this here website and all of you dear readers. I love our little home here and though we had a couple of sticky wickets, we survived those, too.
The last half of this year has been a healing process for me, and one that will continue (at least financially) for some time to come. As you know, I was unnecessarily put through quite an ordeal and such ordeals don’t come cheaply. But we move on, we heal, and it takes the time it takes. As I’ve said before, a couple of people have suggested I’m bitter and humorless about it all, and I suggest that had those people gone through the very same thing, the exact same thing, they would know what bitter and humorless really is. Anyone who knows me knows I never ever went to the bitter place – if I had done so it would have been the end of me. And humorless? Please. If it wasn’t for my sense of humor (which is readily apparent if you read the archives – even in the blackest of moments) it would also have been the end of me. No, I wasn’t always happy about what was being done to me, and screamed and yelled occasionally in the privacy of my own residence, but my public face has never been a bitter or humorless one. Those who think otherwise simply don’t know me or haven’t “gotten” the tone of these notes (which I know sometimes is difficult when one is just reading words). When one is put through the ringer there is an emotional cost no matter what the outcome. Those doing the ringing don’t care about the cost, but I believe in karma and I believe everything will be put right in the end.
Enough looking back. Looking forward is ever so much more interesting. And I am looking forward to many things, as I hope you are. We have many new and exciting things coming to haineshisway.com this year, so you must keep on coming, and while you’re at it, tell your friends and neighbors, tell the man in the street and the lady in the powder room – here is where it’s at. We are cool, man, cool, we are happening, we are in with the in crowd, we are the ginchiest. Are we jiggy with that? Yes, we are the jiggiest. Do you know that when I type the word “jiggiest” that Word automatically changes it to “jaggiest”? Damn them, damn them all to hell. Where was I? Oh, yes, we are jiggy. That’s what I’m talkin’ about.
So, let me start my bests with CDs. So many that have given me joy this year – none more so than the wonderful Michel Legrand box set I got from amazon.com France. It is a superb set filled with terrific tracks, some of them quite rare. The Percy Faith two-fers have rarely been out of my player – especially The Most Happy Fella and the Subways are for Sleeping ones. Delectable. Favorite cast album – the reissue of Li’l Abner – brilliant and delightful as ever and sounding great, too. I also enjoyed my friend Lisa Richard’s new album, Virgin Tracks, and not just because she included a song of mine. I’m sure I’ll remember a few others as the day goes on, and I will be posting my other bests all throughout the day, too.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write as much Nudie as I can today (yesterday I did twenty count them twenty pages) and it’s time to get this rockin’ party on the road. If I were you (and I am) I’d check back at least once an hour because there will be surprises galore, posts galore and a good time will be had by all. Today’s topic of discussion: What is one of your New Year’s resolutions? Post away, my pretties and let’s make this a day and night to remember.