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January 12, 2003:

THE FLYING TURTLE

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, I made all your recipes yesterday, ate the delicious dishes and this morning I woke up 153 pounds heavier. Oh, well. Seriously, I cannot wait to try some of them. We’re going to compile them and have them available here – our very own Hainsies/Kimlets Cookbook. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

Last night I watched Gamera: Guardian of the Universe which, for a movie about a giant flying turtle, was very entertaining. In the late 50s, Gamera was Daiei Studios attempt to cash in on Toho’s Godzilla. In the late 90s, Gamera was Daiei Studios attempt to cash in on Toho’s Godzilla and if you ask me they did a bang-up job. It’s very loud and there’s lots of destruction and a good villain (a big nasty bird named Gaos). It’s all a good deal of fun. After that, I attempted to watch its sequel – unfortunately my main DVD player decided that it would not play the sequel and instead refused to start up the disc, refused to open its tray and when I finally did get the tray open there was no tray – it had become stuck somewhere in the player’s innards. Damn them, damn them all to hell. Luckily, I have my new all-region player, so my fellow who hooks everything up will have to come over and swap out the two players and everything should be fine and hunky-dory and also dory-hunky.

Apparently, I made the Unseemly Trivia Contest question too darned easy because we’ve already had several correct guesses. However, the winner isn’t chosen until Tuesday morning so if you have a guess please do send it along.

Don’t forget, Donald will have a brand spanking new radio show up later today and tomorrow we will have our Unseemly Live Chat in our Unseemly Live Chat Room. You simply must be there because it is simply too too.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below and see whassup on the other side of the tracks – oh, a Coleman and Leigh reference.

Yesterday I finished laying down the tracks for the new Nudie songs, so come Tuesday we’ll put some vocals on them and then I’ll have a handy-dandy little demo – just piano, but there you are.

Oh, I forgot to mention yesterday – why did I forget to mention yesterday? Yesterday was very pleasant to me and here I went and forgot to mention yesterday. Damn the, damn them all to hell. What the hell am I going on about? Oh, yes, I forgot to mention yesterday that I told Brent Barrett that you dear readers had voted his album number one and he was very pleased.

Yesterday I also mentioned that Meltz and Ernest wrote a wonderful religious anti-drug song called Jesus Is My Trip, so I thought I’d print it here today, since it’s Sunday.

JESUS IS MY TRIP Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest

If you’re taking acid
If you’re smoking weed
If you’re popping pills my friend
I’ll tell you what you need
You need to find your path
You need to find your way
You need to come to Jesus
‘Cause He’ll make you high today

Yes, if you use that maryjane
You’re gonna go and lose your grip
You gotta just give it up and live it up and
Let Jesus be your trip

Oh, I was lost and wandrin’
But then I took a stranger’s tip
And now I am on the righteous path, my friend
‘Cause Jesus is my trip

Yes, Jesus is my trip,
Jesus is my trip
I’m gettin’ high with Jesus
And I’m feelin’ mighty hip
Oh, yes, I sniffed cocaine
And I was slippin’ down the drain
But now I’m on the straight and narrow
So please join in this refrain

Man, if you’ve got a doobie
That is a hangin’ from your lip
You gotta become a true believer and
Let Jesus be your trip

Oh, if you’re takin’ bennies
You’re gonna snap just like a whip
Got rid of that monkey on my back and now I
Let Jesus be my trip

Yes, Jesus is my trip,
Jesus is my trip.
I’m getting’ high with Jesus
And I’m feelin’ mighty hip
Oh, yes I shot up smack
But I just gave my hypo back
Because I’m on the straight and narrow
I have given up the crack

So, if you’re cravin’ reefer
Well, then your mind is gonna flip
You gotta clean up your act for Jesus and
Let Jesus be your trip

Jesus is my trip
Yeah, Jesus is my trip
And now I only fly with Jesus
Because Jesus is my trip.
Oh, yeah!

I don’t know about you, dear readers, but that is just the best religious anti-drug song I’ve ever heard. Leave it to Meltz and Ernest to hit the nail on the head, song-wise.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must relax and clear my head for the coming week, I must eat various and sundried foodstuffs (perhaps I will try one of yesterday’s recipes) and I must write and rewrite. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day – so, you may discuss any topic you feel like, any old thing at all. Now, these free-for-all days have been mightily disappointing of late. Let’s show the world that our free-for-all days are the best of any on all the Internet. Just bring up whatever is on your mind, or ask a general question and we will have fine discourse, I tell you, oh, yes, we will have fine discourse. Post away, my pretties.

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