Well, dear readers, I slept late and now I am paying the price ($3.98) for having done so by now having to write these here notes in a thrice or a twice or a grice or whatever the hell it is. The reason for this is simple: I didn’t get to sleep until two o’clock in the morning. Yes, you heard it here dear readers, I, BK, did not get to sleep until two o’clock in the morning. I am groggy and frankly I’m writing these here notes with only one eye open. And why was I up so damnably late? Because of the Roumanian Adventure, that’s why.
Last night I went with Jerry Wechter and his new girlfriend and his new girlfriend’s sister to a Russian restaurant called Premiere, which is located not in Russia but about three blocks from my very own house. Who knew? Jerry’s new girlfriend is Roumanian (she’s been here about ten years and speaks quite good English), hence Jerry’s new girlfriend’s sister is Roumanian (she’s been here two years and speaks English not as well as her sister). Jerry thought it would be fun to go to this place and I was game since I never go anywhere. The restaurant was huge, lots of tables together, and a little stage for the entertainment. When you are seated there is already a bountiful Russian feast on the table, every kind of appetizer you can imagine. Lox, and blinis, and caviar, and various and sundried salads and things I couldn’t identify. Some of it was quite tasty – the other stuff might have been quite tasty too, but I didn’t like the look of it and therefore I wouldn’t taste it. Jerry seemed genuinely smitten with Magdalena, his new Roumanian girlfriend and she seemed quite smitten with him. Elena, her sister, laughed quite a bit at me although I don’t think she understood much of what I was saying. We ate and ate and ate because every fifteen minutes for the next four hours they kept bringing new food to the table. Then there was the entertainment – a Russian band, dancers and whatnot. Then the Russian emcee went into the audience and got some foolish diners to make fools of themselves – naturally the first two people he came to were Jerry and I. We rose to the occasion, of course, and were the most foolish of all the fools. Then we danced. Yes, Virginia, I, BK, danced. I had no choice because Elena wished to dance and I didn’t want to be a party-pooper. Now, I do not dance, let us just state that fact right here and now and also right now and here. I just sort of flail about in a happenstance way. Occasionally, I throw in some steps from Pippin and A Chorus Line and that seems to confound everyone. It was very tiring, this dancing was and wouldn’t you know we danced until the cows came home, and those fershluganah cows were out late, let me tell you that. It was like a real old-fashioned nightclub – they had a photo lady who took pictures (I drew the line right there) and the service was quite nice. The music was very loud and I still can’t hear. In any case, it was fun in a Russian sort of way and it was truly a Roumanian Adventure.
What am I, Lowell Thomas all of a sudden? All that Russian food and atmosphere put me in mind of a Meltz and Ernest classic – one of their attempts to write a title song for a movie. Naturally, the movie producers were to stupid to see how great a title song it was and they didn’t use it. It was for David Lean’s magnificent film, Dr. Zhivago. I don’t have the music in front of me, but I do remember the opening.
DR. ZHIVAGO Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest
He was Dr. Zhivago!
He was Russian.
He was rushin’ here and rushin’ there
And rushin’ everywhere.
He had a wife and a girlfriend
He was busy.
All his patients kept saying
Where on earth is he?
Did he go to Chicago?
Where is Dr. Zhivago?
Where he lived it was snowing
And the cold wind was blowing
Still he dressed in high fashion
And he loved with a passion
And his patients were patient
For their Dr. Zhivago
And their Dr. Zhivago
Was a helluva guy.
There’s more, of course, but that gives you an idea at least. I think those producers were idiots, frankly.
Well, my other eye is now open, so why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below to continue our Roumanian Adventure.
Have I mentioned that I danced until the cows came home? My legs are very sore from all that dancing. Yesterday was quite a day, trying to undo all the benefit details – some of the cast were quite disappointed as we all were.
We have an Unseemly Trivia contest question, courtesy of dear reader Steve Gurey. And it goes something like this:
This hit musical was based on a very popular hit movie. In the movie, one of the main characters offers one of the leading characters a pair of tickets to a then smash Broadway musical, which were accepted. The movie featured two former Tony award winners. Name the musical, the movie on which it was based, the smash musical to which the tickets were offered and the two former Tony award winners in the movie.
Remember, DO NOT POST YOUR ANSWERS TO THE SITE. Send them to me at bruce@haineshisway.com or simply use the Ask BK Button. You have until midnight on Monday to submit your excellent answers.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must roam the city in search of new DVDs and whatnot. I must have dinner with a friend but I shall not be dancing until the cows come home. Today’s topic of discussion should be Russian, but instead will be: What is the largest feast you have ever partaken of, the largest meal. What kind of food, how long did it last, how many courses? We want every detail, every morsel, so hold nothing back, dear readers, and we shall all salivate whilst reading of your various and sundried feast stories. Post away, my pretties.