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March 16, 2003:

THE SUNDAY OF OUR 500th NOTES

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, you won’t believe it. I can barely believe it myself and yet, according to those who know, it is true. Yes, Virginia, those who know have deemed it true. And what is that I cannot believe yet must because those who know have deemed it true? Well, I’ll tell you, because why should I keep such momentous news from you? This, dear readers, is our 500th notes. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, this is our 500th notes. Can you believe it? For the last 500 days I have written these here notes and I think that is really something. What that something is I leave to others to figure out. Yes, day in, day out, week in, week out, month in, month out, year in, year out, these notes have appeared like a clockwork orange. They began in 2001, and have gone on daily in all their paths of glory. Through good and bad, when the light was dim or when the light was the shining beacon that it should be. Whether I was dressed in t-shirt and shorts or a full metal jacket. Whether I was broke or had just made the killing. With my eyes wide open or my eyes wide shut. With fear and desire or a killer’s kiss. Even though certain dear readers such as Lolita are no longer with us, many of you have been here since the beginning taking part in our silly fun. I’ll tell you two people who have never been here, however – Barry Lyndon and Dr. Strangelove, but we can always hope they’ll drop by one fine day. Apparently we are not good enough for the likes of them. What am I, Stanley Kubrick all of a sudden?

In any case, it is a time for celebration on this fine Sunday of our 500th notes. We must all put on our pointy party hats, our colored tights and pantaloons, and we must have heaps and scads and also scads and heaps of cheese slices and ham chunks, and we must dance the Hora and also the Pony and we must sing the Shoop Shoop song. In short, we must party until the cows come home. I have had an excellent time doing these daily ramblings, but what really makes our little corner of the world so unique you dear readers, both old and new. There is simply no place on all the Internet like this place. While others have civil wars we are, for the most part, civil. Well, there’s no reason to go on about it, but let me just say that we will continue to be here, we will continue to have Unseemly Interviews with Interesting and Diverse People, we will continue having the best Broadway radio show on all the Internet, thanks to our very own Mr. Donald Feltham, and we will continue having the best posts made anywhere on all the Internet. In short, soon we will be the most popular site on all the Internet, and there is not a damn thing others can do about it but sit back and watch.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, whilst we change into our party attire.

Have I mentioned that this is our 500th notes? Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? I watched several films yesterday, but I think I’ll save my comments for Monday, because today we are celebrating. Perhaps I’ll tell you the story of The Randy Vicar and the Light Bulb. Oh, that’s a merry one. Perhaps not.

Don’t forget, today’s celebration will culminate with our Unseemly Live Chat at six o’clock Pacific Mean Time, just a few hours from now. We do hope that as many of you as possible will join us for our Live Chat celebration because I do believe it will be especially wild and wooly and even may be wooly and wild.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things, I do, I must prance about in my colored tights and pantaloons and partake of cheese slices and ham chunks and Diet Coke whilst dancing the Hora and the Pony. I’ll see you all later at the live chat and once again, congratulations to each and every one of us. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you get to discuss anything your collective hearts desire. So post away, dear readers, and post often on this Sunday of our 500th notes.

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