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April 23, 2003:

THE LONG AND THE SHORT OF SHRIFT

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, here it is, Wednesday, and I have done almost nothing to prepare for my trip tomorrow, so I’m afraid these here notes will have to be short and sweet, not necessarily in that order. My flight is quite early, 7:00 in the morning, Pacific Mean Daylight Savings Time, so I’m leaving for the airport, which is in Long Beach, at 4:30 Pacific Mean Daylight Savings Time.

Yes, Virginia, I’m afraid I’m going to have to give these here notes short shrift, whatever the hell that is. What is shrift and can you also give long shrift? I think shrift sounds like a Jerry Lewis word – so, let’s all put on our best Jerry voices and say “shrift”. On the count of three: One, two, three – “shrift”. Wasn’t that fun? A chorus of Jerrys saying “shrift”. In any case, I’m afraid I’m going to have to give these here notes short shrift and that’s all there is to it. These here notes will only have partial shrift today and frankly or even petely they will have partial shrift tomorrow because of my leaving so early in the morning. What the hell am I talking about?

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’m afraid the shrift is getting too long around these here parts.

Has anyone noticed that I am giving these here notes short shrift? I think it’s very apparent, but that’s just me.

For example, didn’t I give that paragraph above short shrift? I believe I did. Oh, dear, oh, dear. So much to do. For example, I must go to the post office. My post office always has the longest lines of any post office anywhere, no matter what time you get there. However, I made an interesting discovery a few months ago – if I drive two miles west there is a drug store which has a mini-post office inside, and they offer most of the services of a full post office with none of the lines. One is simply in and out in no more than five minutes. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must parcel out the shrift in small and medium doses, I must go hither and thither and wrap up what needs to be wrapped up, I must pack and then I must try to go to bed early so that I don’t give sleep a short shrift. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, however, since I will have no time at all to answer your excellent questions, we will have to skip this week’s Ask BK Day, and have another topic of discussion. Ask BK Day will return next week at its regularly scheduled time. Alternate topic of discussion: Instead of Ask BK Day, we’re going to have Ask Dear Reader Day, the day in which you ask other dear readers whatever excellent question you might have. Then, each dear reader can post their excellent answer in today or tomorrow’s notes. Doesn’t that sound like fun? So, ask way, answer away and post away, and whatever you do, do not give your answers short shrift.

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