Haines Logo Text
Column Archive
August 20, 2003:

MOLTO AGITATO IN A LATHER

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, here we are on a fine and lovely Wednesday. Or is it a lovely and fine Wednesday? Either way, it is a Wednesday that is fine and/or lovely and/or both. Yesterday was a crazy day – I was in a lather all day, quite agitato, as we say in music. Have you ever been in a lather? Normally, I shave whilst in a lather, but yesterday I was in a lather and I did not shave. I wonder if people think I looked funny walking around in a lather. In any case, I was in said lather and molto agitato, but today I am calm and cool as a cucumber. Did you know, for example, that calm anagrammed is “clam”? Did you know that? Did you know that cool anagrammed is “oolc”? Did you know that? Well, the only thing left to say in this paragraph is what the hell am I talking about?

Did you know that Meltz and Ernest wrote a very nice song called I’m Calm as a Cucumber? They did, and here it is.

I’M CALM AS A CUCUMBER Music by Hinky Meltz Lyrics by Ernest Ernest

If I had a dollar
For ev’ry time I got hot under the collar
I’d be a millionaire
But baby I’ve learned my lesson
And baby I’m confessin’
I’ll retire my ire and from now on
I won’t have a care
And now

I’m calm, calm as a cucumber
I’m cool as a potato chip
While I used to get quite angry
Now look how I’ve got a grip

I’m calm, calm as a cucumber
I’m cool as boysenberry pie
While I used to simply blow up
Now my tantrums blow right by

Look at me
Fancy and free
Making things light and fun
Look at me
Got a degree
In Happiness 101

I’m calm, calm as a cucumber
I’m cool as a banana split
While I used to blare and bellow
Now I never have a fit

I’m calm, calm as a cucumber
I’m cool as a corned beef on rye
Yes, I’m a calm and cool customer
And quite a happy-go-lucky guy.

Isn’t that a wonderful Meltz and Ernest song. So lilting in these times of occasional turmoil.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I’ve got places to go and people to see, don’t you know?

Have I mentioned that I am as cool as a cucumber from the song of the same name? Don’t forget, our very own Mr. Craig Brockman has put up some photos in Juliana’s Journal and if you like those there will be more soon, and in color, too.

Last night I watched a motion picture entertainment on DVD entitled The Kid Stays in the Picture. This is the documentary about producer Robert Evans. It’s beautifully done, beautifully photographed by John Bailey, and a wonderful portrait of Hollywood and the business we call show. Evans narrates in his unmistakable drone, and it’s funny and touching, and whatever you think of him and the roller coaster ride he’s been on, he and the film are fascinating. Worth the entire price of the disc is the end credit sequence, where Dustin Hoffman, at the time of filming Marathon Man, does a spot-on impression of Evans that is laugh-out-loud hilarious.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must work all the livelong day, and I am lunching with Miss Joan Ryan, who is a very good and loud singer I’ve worked with. I, in fact, produced her first album, and we’re meeting to chat about doing another. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too? You, of course, will be the first to know if we’re going to go ahead with it. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, and also Ask Dear Reader Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader whatever questions you so choose. So choose some questions and ask away. I will answer mine in the posts o’ the day. Let’s have loads of lovely posts for me to read as I work all the livelong day.

Search BK's Notes Archive:
 
© 2001 - 2024 by Bruce Kimmel. All Rights Reserved