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September 9, 2003:

WHAT ELSE CAN I TELL YOU?

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, what can I tell you? What can I tell you? What can I tell you? Or, for that matter, what can I tell ewe? Well, I can tell you that I am seriously on a diet. I know not which diet I am on but I am on a diet nonetheless. I shall simply eat less, eat low fat grams, and I shall magically lose pounds. I shall begin jogging again and soon I will be buff and toned with abs and buns of steel. Having jobs like the one I have, one tends to eat because there is always food around, whether bagels or chips or whatnot, although I’m not all that fond of the taste of whatnot. The thing is, you can eat the bagel, but then to eat lunch on top of that and then dinner on top of that and then snacks on top of that, well, it’s too too much food for this Jew to eat. First of all, if you have lunch and dinner and snacks all piled on your bagel how can you even get the thing into your gaping hungry maw? Well, I shall be on a diet as of this very day and nothing will prevent me from my goal to lose many pounds. I shall soon be the talk of the town or, at the very least, the town of the talk. What the hell am I talking about?

What else can I tell you? What else can I tell you? What else can I tell you? Or, for that matter, what else can I tell ewe? Well, I can tell you that you should order Jeepers Creepers if you haven’t done so already. I can tell you to listen to Donald’s brand spanking new radio show if you haven’t done so already. I can tell you to read Grant Geissman’s Unseemly Interview if you haven’t done so already. I can tell you to read the latest Juliana’s Journal if you haven’t done so already. And if, for some reason, you have not read Benjamin Kritzer and/or Kritzerland then I can tell you to KISS MY ASS.

There is so much information to be gleaned from today’s notes, don’t you think? Here’s some more information you can glean because on simply must glean all the information they can. Yesterday I purchased a book, a UK first edition of a German book – the English title of which is Lottie and Lisa. When the book was published in the US it was called Lisa and Lottie. In its original German it was called Das Doppelte Lottchen. The book is by German author Erich Kastner, who wrote Emil and the Detectives, which was made into a Disney film. Lottie and Lisa or Lisa and Lottie or Das Doppelte Lottchen was also made into a Disney film. I’ll bet you didn’t know that, hence you are gleaning information. Lottie and Lisa is the story of two twins who meet each other at summer camp and then switch places. Sound familiar?

Well, I feel there has been a litte too much gleaning and I feel we must all click on the Unseemly Button below, because I am on a diet, don’t you know.

Is there anything else I can tell you? Is there anything else I can tell you? Is there anything else I can tell you? Or, is there anything else I can tell ewe? Have I mentioned that I am on a diet? I am, and soon I shall be the talk of the town with my new svelte and trim body. People will stare at me and admire me from afar and also from anear. People will blow kisses in the direction of my ASS. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must tell you, and u, and ewe that I must work all the livelong day, I must eat only low fat foods and I must limit my snacking. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite English musicals? You can list musicals that played in America, but they must have originated in England. I’ll start – Stop the World – I Want to Get Off, The Boyfriend, Oliver!, Half a Sixpence, and the scores to (haven’t actually seen the shows) Passion Flower Hotel, Maggie May, and lots of others. Your turn, and let’s have loads of lovely posts for my mental delectation, shall we?

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