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August 12, 2004:

CASTING ASPERSIONS

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, you won’t believe it – I can barely believe it myself and yet I must for it is true. What can I barely believe? Well, I’ll tell you what I barely believe because why should I withhold such things from you? After screwing up Tuesday night, On the House, our papering service, screwed up again last night and didn’t list our show. This, after promising us they would make amends and do everything in their power to get us a good crowd. Now, I don’t want to cast aspersions, I really don’t, but may I just say that the person who works at On the House is a first-class nincompoop, a stupid yokel of the highest order, a brain-dead dweeb who ought to be bitch-slapped from here to eternity and hell and back? When our associate producer (our new associate producer) talked to this miscreant today he tried to act like he didn’t know what she was talking about, then finally realized that wasn’t going to work and profusely apologized once again. Note to miscreant: Ain’t working, bud. Tomorrow, my dictum to our associate producer is to get this cretin’s boss on the phone and get him fired. There is no excuse for anyone being that stupid, and yet, and yet. So, once again we played to an audience of fifteen. That is so harmful for both me and the cast, but they were troupers and played a wonderful show and the small audience was very vocal and very appreciative. What we needed, of course, was another crowd like we had on Monday night – that’s the only way for me to tell how the pacing is, if the laughs are strong enough (and if they aren’t, what I need to do to adjust things so they will be) and if bodies are soaking up the sound. So, basically I was denied two shots at honing my show to the best it can be. I still gave notes, and I think that the cast will be terrific for our opening performance, but I will never forgive the pissant miscreant dweeb for doing what he did. He’d better hope he never meets me, that’s all I can say. I’ll keep you posted about any potential punishment that is meted out to the nincompoop yokel. There, I hope I haven’t cast any aspersions. In any case, it was a good performance and I’m looking forward to our full house tomorrow.

Last night I began watching the brand spanking new DVD of Village of the Damned and Children of the Damned – two movies for the price of one. I love Village of the Damned and I’m happy to report that the transfer is incredibly sharp and detailed. I’m so happy that certain MGM titles went to Warner Home Video, because MGM/UA, had they had this title, wouldn’t have done it anamorphically enhanced for widescreen TVs. I’ll have more to say when I’ve finished it.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below before I start casting more aspersions. You have to be very careful how you cast aspersions because sometimes aspersions aren’t really right for the role.

I’m going to try to relax all day today – to not do much of anything, so that I’ll be fresh as a daisy for tonight’s opening and ensuing partay. I will, of course, have full details for you as soon as possible. I know there’s going to be some really fun people at the opening.

Have I mentioned how unhappy I am with the miscreant yokel nincompoop who screwed our show not once but twice? I may, in fact, try to have a conversation with him myself tomorrow, just because it would amuse me to let this guy really have an earful – even though our new associate producer gave him quite an earful herself.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must relax, I must sit on my couch like so much fish, I must eat something at some point, I must cast some aspersions, and I must laze about in my lounging pyjamas and crushed velvet smoking jacket. I’ve tried to get my jacket to give up smoking, but that’s another story. Today’s topic of discussion: Since we’re opening tonight – what memorable opening nights have you attended and what glitterati was there? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we?

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