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August 27, 2004:

THE P PROBLEM

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, we had a splendidly splendid show last night – practically a full house and a very responsive audience. I knew many of the fine folks, although I didn’t really know they’d be there. Mr. Skip E. Lowe saw the show for a second time and was heard howling throughout. He’ll be interviewing several of our cast members on his cable access show next week. I’m told that we have a very sizable house this evening, too, so that’s nice. I need a massage, I need a foot rub, I need coddling, and yet, here I sit like so much fish, tired and achy. And annoyed. Why am I annoyed you might ask and I might tell you for why should I keep such effluvia from you? I am annoyed because there is a broken sewage pipe under my house. This had to have happened fairly recently and if I had my guess it would be about the time Mr. Rodent Man was searching under the house for the dead rodent. My belief is that he grabbed onto the sewage pipe for support and it cracked. So, today someone came out and used some heavy equipment under the house so that in the next day or two a plumber can come to fix the broken pipe. That’s all fine and good, except that they told me I couldn’t use the bathroom until the pipe is fixed (otherwise, they might have to come back and do the whole thing over again). So, I have this slight problem of not being able to use the bathroom. Isn’t that annoying? I mean, I can use it but I can’t flush until Mr. Plumber Man does his business. Yes, Virginia, I cannot do my business until Mr. Plumber Man does his business. I’m hoping they will come today to fix it so that I don’t have to deal with this problem all weekend. I think it only affects one of the bathrooms but they couldn’t tell me which one. Damn them, damn them all to hell.

Last night I began watching a motion picture on DVD entitled The Alligator People. This is a fine example of a bad motion picture – it’s very enjoyable in its awfulness. I’ll have more to say about it after I’ve seen the whole thing.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below whilst I try not to dwell on such things as not being able to use the bathroom in my very own home environment.

Have I mentioned that I cannot use the bathroom in my home environment? I may anyway, but don’t tell anyone if I do. Otherwise, I’ll use the bathroom at Gelson’s or a restaurant or whatever. Send your vibes and xylophones for a hasty fix for this horrid problem.

In addition to that little problem, there is also the problem of the big machine in my bathroom – this machine purifies the air, apparently. Yes, it’s the air apparent. We don’t allow groaning here at haineshisway.com. The big machine makes a lot of noise and I only hope I’m able to sleep with such noise, although if it’s too bad I shall unplug it posthaste.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must do errands and whatnot and I must not think about bathrooms at all. I must do other things, too, such as eat and drink and be merry or, at the very least, be Mary. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Friday – what is currently in your CD player, and your DVD/video player? I’ll start – CD, Inside Daisy Clover and Dead Ringer, both by Mr. Andre Previn. DVD, The Alligator People to be followed by King Kong Lives, which I gather is pretty wretched. Your turn. Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we?

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