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October 30, 2004:

MY OH SO SENSITIVE SKIN

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is one day until our annual Halloween bash. I can barely contain myself because I know what a wonderfully wonderful partay we’re going to have right here at haineshisway.com, what with all of us in our scary costumes. Photos are a must, of course, so have your cameras ready. I have finally figured out what I’m going as – a fifty-six-year-old Jew. That will be frightening all right. Yesterday, I wrote quite a bit, then picked up some packages at my mail place (including my first order from cdconnection.com – very fast). I drove around looking for a rug place but only found carpet places. I want rug places not carpet places. You know, the kind where you can find large area rugs like the one in the Restoration Hardware catalog that would take eight weeks to deliver. I want one now, not in eight weeks. If anyone has any suggestions please pass them along. Also, I bought an electric shaver. I did it on a whim. Long ago and far away I used to only use an electric shaver, but I was never happy with the closeness of the shave and also the electric shavers in those days were really irritating to my oh so sensitive skin. I switched to a razor and that’s what I’ve used for over twenty-five years. I get a very smooth shave, but I really don’t like using a razor, plus I find it’s difficult for me to shave every day with a razor because it also irritates my oh so sensitive skin. In any case, there I was in a store and I checked out their electric razors. Good ones are very pricey. I bought a Norelco three head shaver. I hadn’t shaved for three days and I must say this Norelco took the three days of whiskers off smoothly and easily and did not irritate my oh so sensitive skin. We’ll see how it does tomorrow, but I got a fairly smooth shave with it and they say after three weeks the shaves will even be smoother. The most amazing thing about this shaver is the way you clean the heads – you put ’em under the faucet and wash them with water. Who knew? I’ll give it a three-week trial, then I’ll keep using it regularly or switch off between the razor and the shaver, not necessarily in that order.

I don’t know what’s with me but again I could not muster the energy to watch a DVD last night. I am really falling behind. Instead I watched the deliriously awful The Beast With Five Fingers on TMC. I loved this movie when I was a teen (I believe it figures in Kritzerland, if memory serves), especially Peter Lorre and his repeated line, “The hand, the hand.” It’s all quite risible, but what fun it was to see it again.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because frankly this section is starting to irritate my oh so sensitive skin.

Tonight I may just mosey on down to the Dale of Glen for a little Halloween celebration at Bookfellows, the bookstore where I’ve done quite a few signings (and will be doing my first Writer’s Block signing in December). They have quite a few authors coming to read from their scary books. I’ll probably pop in for a while, just for the fun of it.

Don’t forget, at two o’clock a.m. we must all set our clocks back one hour. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, at two o’clock it will be one o’clock. That is a marvelous feat of prestidigitation if you ask me. And then don’t forget that tomorrow we will be celebrating Halloween all the livelong day and night. And then Monday we will be in a brand spanking new month.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must do a spot of writing, I must relax and smell the roses and the ferns, I must have a little “me” time, and I must drive about like a sport in my automobile, window open, so that the wind can caress my oh so sensitive skin. Today’s topic of discussion: What were your most outrageous and clever Halloween costumes of years past? Topic two: What movie creeped you out as a child more than any other? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we?

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