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October 31, 2004:

THE HUNGARIAN IN THE CLOSET

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, are you ready to be scared? Are you ready for things that go bump in the night? Are you ready for things that go night in the bump? Are you ready for Ghosties and Goblins and Witches and Warlocks? Are you ready for creaking doors and cobwebs? Are you ready for tricks and for treats? I do hope so, because today is our annual Halloween bash here at haineshisway.com. Today is the day we dress in our Halloween costumes and scare the living and/or dead daylights out of anyone and everyone. We must have photos, dear readers, photos of you in your Halloween getup. Oh, it will be frightening here at haineshisway.com. Things will not only be going bump in the night, they’ll also be going bump in the day. Yes, the hour is upon us. But what hour is it? Not the Daylight Savings Time hour. For it is no longer Daylight Savings Time, so those in the proper time zones have hopefully set their clocks back one hour. At two o’clock a.m. last night it was suddenly one o’clock a.m. last night. Not only is all of the above going on, but it is also the last day of October. Yes, Virginia, today is the last day of October and tomorrow we will be heading into a brand spanking new month called November. My goodness this year has just flown by, hasn’t it? It’s really shocking. But enough about that – today is our Halloween bash. We must put on our costumes, carve our pumpkins, turn the lights out and put on scary music. What’s that behind you – there, in the shadows? Watch out! Whew, that was scary, wasn’t it? Wait! What’s behind that closet door? Something wants to come out of the closet – perhaps it’s a Hungarian. I’ve got goose bumps, dear readers, and also hen bumps and swan bumps. And let me tell you, those bumps go bump in the night.

Last night, in preparation for Halloween, I watched a scary movie entitled The Hunger, starring the beautiful Miss Catherine Deneuve and Mr. David Bowie, as well as Miss Susan Sarandon. Actually, it wasn’t scary at all, but it had a certain atmosphere. There was quite a bit of bloodletting, some kinky business between the two leading ladies, and some fun old-age makeup for Mr. Bowie. The film was the first feature of Mr. Ridley Scott’s brother Tony. Tony is not Ridley. Conversely, Ridley is not Tony. Tony’s “style” even way back then was a bit annoying, every shot having to be some kind of artsy thing. But the actors are good, and it all moves along briskly. Interestingly, there is a bit part for two thugs – one little scene with a line or two – said thugs being played by John Pankow and Willem Dafoe. One has to start somewhere. Many famous actors got their start playing a thug in a bit part – Sylvester Stallone (in a Woody Allen movie – is it Bananas?), Jeff Goldblum (in Death Wish), and probably many more. The scope transfer is nice.

What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I hear a’tap tap tapping from the Hungarian in the closet.

Come out, come out, wherever you are, you Ghosties and ghoulies and things that go bump and grind in the night. Do you all have goose bumps yet? I do.

Don’t forget, Donald should have a new radio show up for your listening pleasure. Maybe it will be a scary show. Maybe it will feature a Hungarian coming out of the closet.

So many tricks, so many treats. Soon all the little boys and girls will be coming to my door and I shall give them Almond Joys and Skittles and Baby Ruths and Mike and Ike’s and Three Musketeers and M&M Peanuts.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write a few pages, I must do a few errands and then I must dress up so I can scare all the little children with my Halloween costume of a fifty-six-year-old Jew. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to choose the topics and we all get to post about them. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely postings as we begin our Halloween bash. Post scary posts, post photos, and make sure your posts cause us all to have goose bumps. Otherwise, if we don’t, the Hungarian might come out of the closet and go bump in the night.

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