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Column Archive
November 3, 2004:

WEBSITE NOT RESPONDING

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, you won’t believe it. I can barely believe it myself and yet I must because it is true. At eight o’clock last evening, I found myself unable to access this here website. Not through AOL, not through IE, not through anything. We do have little hiccups now and then, so I gave it a few minutes. At eight-fifteen I wrote an e-mail to my hosting facility and then called them and left a message. One of the things I was promised when I switched to this company was around the clock support. By ten o’clock I hadn’t had a response to my e-mail or a returned phone call, so it became clear to me that no one was there to offer around the clock support. It also became clear that the site would, most likely, be down all night. Unless something changes (I’m writing this before midnight, just in case) you’ll be reading these here notes in the morning, whenever they get around to fixing the problem. I will be having a serious conversation with both sales and support about this, and if they cannot guarantee me it will never happen again I’ll be taking my business elsewhere. To say I was and am annoyed would be an understatement. Oh, well, I suppose these things happen from time to time and we just have to get on with it.

Last night, whilst all this was happening, I watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Foul Play. I’d never seen but a few scenes for reasons that are petty, i.e. I was annoyed that Chevy Chase was starring in a motion picture and was in the process of taking away my very healthy career by having the temerity to look like me and do similar shtick to me. It’s a fun little film in the Charade mode – a comedy thriller. It gets a bit too silly for my taste, and Mr. Colin Higgins doesn’t show much grace as a director, but his script is mostly fun, it works on all the levels it’s supposed to, and the cast is pretty wonderful (Goldie Hawn, Burgess Meredith, Rachel Roberts, Dudley Moore, Eugene Roche, Billy Barty, Irene Tedrow, Brian Dennehy and lots of other folks). There is one totally sloppy thing in the film that drove me crazy – Goldie goes to a movie at the beginning of the film. She says it’s playing at the Nuart on Union Street (the film takes place in San Francisco). Well, of course there is no Nuart on Union Street – they shot the scene right here in West LA at our very own Nuart. Most people don’t know, but stuff like that takes me right out of the movie and it’s totally unnecessary. There’s a few too many phony scare scenes, and the film is overlong at 116 minutes. The musical score by Charles Fox is fun, too, and I’ve always liked the theme song, Ready to Take a Chance Again, sung by Mr. Barry Manilow.

Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below. Maybe if we do and we all put on our ruby slippers and click our heels three times, we’ll find ourselves back at haineshisway.com.

Web site is not responding. I do not like that phrase and I never need to see it again. It’s not the website that’s not responding, brainiacs, it’s the host that’s not responding which, if you ask me, is not very hospitable of the host. Damn them, damn them all to hell.

No reason to write any long notes today as all we may see is web site is not responding. But, I suppose, if you’re reading these here notes then the website has decided to respond.

Now wait just a darned minute – website not responding or not, we must all put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, we must break out the cheese slices and the ham chunks, we must dance the Hora and the Hustle, for today is dear reader Emily’s actual birthday – her 21st birthday. Having just turned twenty-one myself, I know how exciting that can be. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to dear reader Emily. On the count of three: One, two, three – HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHEER TO DEAR READER EMILY!!!

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must have words with the inhospitable host, I must write, I must do an errand or two, I must teach a song to our latest singer addition, my friend, Miss Barbara Deutsch, and I must rehearse my piano playing, since I will be playing this here session we’re doing. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s Ask BK Day, the day in which you get to ask me or any dear reader any old thing you like and we get to answer any old way we like. Of course, we hope you’ll be able to ask questions and that we’ll be able to answer and we hope we can have loads of lovely postings and we hope that we do not see the fershluganah website is not responding thing ever again.

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