Well, dear readers, Christmas is almost here, which means Christmas Eve is almost here, which means our annual haineshisway.com mammoth Christmas celebration is almost here. Only two shopping days left. If you’re in a bind, shopping and present-wise, let me make a suggestion you might not have thought of, should you need a gift for your true love – eleven pipers piping. Isn’t that a novel idea? What could say “love” more than eleven pipers piping? Certainly not eleven pipers playing the tuba. No, eleven pipers piping is a wonderful gift for one’s true love. Today I shall be getting my hair cut. Wasn’t that a colorful and piquant segue? After today, I shall be perfectly coiffed, oh, yes, I shall be perfectly coiffed. Yesterday, I had a most fun day, starting with breakfast with our beloved dear readers Laura and Sandra. Sandra gave me some sordid candies, which I wolfed down in one sitting. They were sordidly sordid, in fact, and quite yummilicious. I also visited a swell memorabilia store, about which I wrote a long post in yesterday’s voluminous posts, so check it out, won’t you? I just love the idea of eleven pipers piping, because if you’ve ever heard eleven pipers pipes you know their pipes piping is most pleasurable, pipers piping-wise. Oh, and today I shall be getting my hair cut and I shall then be perfectly coiffed.
Last night I finished watching Wicker Park. What a dreadfully dreadful Americanization of a wonderfully wonderful French film. Where the French film is complex and yet perfectly easy to follow, the American film is complex and baffling and stupid at every turn. The director felt the need (as most directors today do) to show off in every frame of his film, and I’m so tired of “style” it just makes me want to vomit on the ground. Mr. Giles Mimouni’s original has elegant and simple direction – in other words, he tells the story. And, of course, they totally omit one important sub-plot so that one character makes absolutely no sense and then just disappears from the film, and, of course, they completely change the ending, which completely changes the point of the film, and if you completely change the point of the film then why did you buy the rights in the first place. Damn these Americans. A total waste of celluloid with the exception of Miss Rose Byrne, who did quite well with the somewhat muddled revamp of her character. The star of the film, the above-the-title Josh Hartnett, is awful – somnambulistic, mumbling and charmless. Feh on the whole enterprise. Give me eleven pipers piping any day or, at the very least, the original French film, L’Appartement, which is only available in region 2, DVD-wise. It seems the rights-holders kept the original out of the US. Feh on them, too.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because Christmas is just around the corner and so is the next section.
I didn’t do my grocery shopping yesterday, so I must do it today. And early, too, so it’s not too crowded. The mails must be very slow right now, because I haven’t received any of the many packages I’m expecting.
Now wait just a darned minute. Let’s just hold the phone, stop the car, halt the train – I do believe we’d better put on our pointy party hats and our colored tights and pantaloons, I do believe we’d better serve us up some cheese slices and ham chunks, I do believe we’d better dance the Hora and the Texas Two-Step, because we’ve got us a birthday to celebrate. Yes, you heard it here, dear readers, today is the birthday of our very own William F. Orr. So, let’s give a big haineshisway.com birthday cheer to William F. Orr (WFO, in Internet lingo). On the count of three: One, two, three: A BIG HAINESHISWAY.COM BIRTHDAY CHEER TO WILLIAM F. ORR (WFO, IN INTERNET LINGO)!!!
This really has been a birthday-filled month, hasn’t it? Oh, and I’ll be getting my hair cut today, and I shall then be perfectly coiffed. I shall walk down the street with my perfectly perfect coiffed hair and people shall look at me admiringly, as if I were a gazelle under an electric blanket.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, get my hair cut so that I can be perfectly coiffed, and then I must attend to other things, such as driving to and from and also fro and to in my motor car. Today’s topic of discussion: If you could take our haineshisway.com Time Machine back in time to buy any gift from decades or centuries of old, what would the gift be and why would you want it? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, for it is Christmas, a time to be perfectly coiffed and filled with high spirits.