2005 | Haines His Way

COUNTDOWN TO 2006 (December 27, 2005)

A BEAN BURRITO GONE AWRY (December 26, 2005)

FEELING THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT (December 25, 2005)

EVERYBODY SAYS DO (December 24, 2005)

THE SHOOP SHOOP SONG (December 23, 2005)

HARK! THE HAROLD ANGELS SING (December 22, 2005)

DIABOLICAL GLEE (December 21, 2005)

HAB GUBMUH (December 20, 2005)

COUNTDOWN TO CHRISTMAS (December 19, 2005)

HO, HO, HO (December 18, 2005)

POACHED EGGS (December 17, 2005)

THAT QUEASY FEELING (December 16, 2005)

LONG NIGHT’S JOURNEY INTO DAY (December 15, 2005)

THE BOGGLED BK (December 14, 2005)

I FEEL A SPIEL COMING ON (December 13, 2005)

THE SOUND OF MUCOUS (December 12, 2005)

WHAT’S MY SEGUE? (December 11, 2005)

FREE AND UNFETTERED (December 10, 2005)

THE MALADY LINGERS ON (December 9, 2005)

58 (December 8, 2005)

OPERATING ON THREE HOURS OF SLEEP (December 7, 2005)

THE HAINES REPORT (December 6, 2005)

SAN FRANCISCO, HERE I COME (December 5, 2005)

THE SHOW MUST GO ON AND ON AND ON (December 4, 2005)

IT’S SHOW TIME (December 3, 2005)

ONE-NOTE NOTES (December 2, 2005)

THE LIKES OF ME (December 1, 2005)

BEDTIME FOR BONZO (November 30, 2005)

BANG (November 29, 2005)

EAR READERS (November 28, 2005)

WHEW (November 27, 2005)

AT ONE WITH ONE (November 26, 2005)

CRASH DIET (November 25, 2005)

GOBBLE GOBBLE (November 24, 2005)

THE LATE, LATE NOTES (November 23, 2005)

THE DROWSY BK (November 22, 2005)

FULL SPEED AHEAD (November 21, 2005)

HEALING HANDS (November 20, 2005)

THE CHEESY NOTES (November 19, 2005)

TWIDDLING MY THUMBS (November 18, 2005)

OVERLOAD (November 17, 2005)

THE NERD ON MY BACK (November 16, 2005)

ROLLERCOASTER (November 15, 2005)

THE BLEARY-EYED ME (November 14, 2005)

THE NOT-TOO-TAXING RELAXING DAY (November 13, 2005)

WAXING NOSTALGIC (November 12, 2005)

THE BRIGHT ELUSIVE BUTTERFLY OF LOVE (November 11, 2005)

PLU PLU (November 10, 2005)

ONE SINGULAR SENSATION (November 9, 2005)

SO FAR, SO GOOD (November 8, 2005)

THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL (November 7, 2005)

HIGH GEAR (November 6, 2005)

YOU KNOW THE DRILL (November 5, 2005)

CRACKED CRAB (November 4, 2005)

ON THE SAME PAGE (November 3, 2005)

THE THICK OF NOVEMBER (November 2, 2005)

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A DAY MAKES (November 1, 2005)

23 HICCUPS (October 31, 2005)

TURN BACK THE CLOCK (October 30, 2005)

CHORES (October 29, 2005)

MEET CUTE (October 28, 2005)

SPOILING THE BROTH (October 27, 2005)

THROWING IN THE TOWEL (October 26, 2005)

SPEED WRITING (October 25, 2005)

THUS SPAKE BK (October 24, 2005)

ASKEW (October 23, 2005)

THE SWEDISH NOTES (October 22, 2005)

MOVING RIGHT ALONG (October 21, 2005)

THE HANDS ON THE CLOCK (October 20, 2005)

SOMETHIN’ WRONG WITH YOUR BUMPER? (October 19, 2005)

APROPOS OF NOTHING (October 18, 2005)

THE LAUNDRY LIST (October 17, 2005)

LIQUID SOCIETY (October 16, 2005)

PROCRASTINATING (October 15, 2005)

NOT-SO-FREE-FLOWING VERSE (October 14, 2005)

IAMB WHAT IAMB (October 13, 2005)

JUGGLING (October 12, 2005)

AKA (October 11, 2005)

COLUMBUS DAY (October 10, 2005)

150,000 POSTS (October 9, 2005)

CUT AND DRIED (October 8, 2005)

PANTYHOSE AND A PEIGNOIR (October 7, 2005)

SIDE EFFECTS (October 6, 2005)

KILLER RABBITS (October 5, 2005)

IMPREGNATED BY MY COMPUTER (October 4, 2005)

SHAV (October 3, 2005)

SHEMAN HEMSLEY (October 2, 2005)

OCTOBERFEST AND THE CASE OF THE MISSING “D”S (October 1, 2005)

IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL (September 30, 2005)

BIDIN’ MY TIME (September 29, 2005)

SISTER CLODAGH, SISTER CLODAGH (September 28, 2005)

A DIFFERENT MEAT (September 27, 2005)

I’M GETTING EXISTENTIAL OVER YOU (September 26, 2005)

WRITE LIKE THE WIND (September 25, 2005)

ACID REFLUX (September 24, 2005)

STRAINING CREDULITY (September 23, 2005)

THE EYES HAVE IT (September 22, 2005)

PROCRASTINATING (September 21, 2005)

THE ROUSING NOTES (September 20, 2005)

THE PONTIFICATING ME (September 19, 2005)

FRIES OF FRANCE (September 18, 2005)

THIRTY-THREE OPENING SENTENCES (September 17, 2005)

LEISURE SUIT (September 16, 2005)

WELL, DEAR READERS (September 15, 2005)

DON’T BEAT AROUND THE BUSH (September 14, 2005)

BLACKOUT (September 13, 2005)

Z CRAZY (September 12, 2005)

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL DAY (September 11, 2005)

FLUFF STRANDS (September 10, 2005)

THE HOST WITH THE MOST ON THE BALL (September 9, 2005)

FEELING RANDY (September 8, 2005)

THE BLANK PAGE (September 7, 2005)

THE BERRIES (September 6, 2005)

SOPHISTICATED ME (September 5, 2005)

SHALL WE DANCE? (September 4, 2005)

WHEN THE MOOD STRIKES ME (September 3, 2005)

CELL PHONE COLD TURKEY LURKEY DAY (September 2, 2005)

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO SEPTEMBER (September 1, 2005)

THE HOCKEY PUCK OF LIFE (August 31, 2005)

TICKLED PINK (August 30, 2005)

MOXIE (August 29, 2005)

THROWING DOWN THE GAUNTLET (August 28, 2005)

THE FRUITFUL DAY SANS FRUIT (August 27, 2005)

THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE NEVER-ENDING BOOK (August 26, 2005)

IN A STATE (August 25, 2005)

STRANGE ADVENTURES (August 24, 2005)

THE MAD TYPER (August 23, 2005)

WITH A SMILE AND A LAUGH AND A POTATO CHIP (August 22, 2005)

HAPPINESS IS JUST A THING CALLED JOE (August 21, 2005)

THE CONVOLUTED CONTEST (August 20, 2005)

YOU KNOW THE MANTRA (August 19, 2005)

ARTHUR MURRAY TAUGHT ME DANCING IN A HURRY (August 18, 2005)

BUSINESS AS USUAL (August 17, 2005)

HIT ME WITH A HOT NOTES AND WATCH ME BOUNCE (August 16, 2005)

THE BEST IS YET TO COME (August 15, 2005)

THE JAM-PACKED AND JELLY-FILLED WEEK (August 14, 2005)

SALLY FORTH (August 13, 2005)

MACARONI AND CHEESE (August 12, 2005)

BUG-A-BOOS (August 11, 2005)

IF IT’S WEDNESDAY IT MUST BE WEDNESDAY (August 10, 2005)

YE OLDE NOTES (August 9, 2005)

EARS OF CORN (August 8, 2005)

SLEUTH (August 7, 2005)

FRITTERIN’ (August 6, 2005)

77 SUNSET STRIP (SNAP, SNAP) (August 5, 2005)

RED-LETTER DAY (August 4, 2005)

I’M DANCING AS FAST AS I CAN (August 3, 2005)

OUT OF CZECHS (August 2, 2005)

AHA (August 1, 2005)

GIRDING MY LOINS (July 31, 2005)

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE, SOLD! (July 30, 2005)

DAYS OF WANE AND ROSES (July 29, 2005)

IF I KNEW YOU WERE COMING I’D HAVE BAKED A TAPE (July 28, 2005)

BRAKE PADS (July 26, 2005)

THEY’RE OFF AND RUNNING (July 25, 2005)

PACKING A WALLOP (July 24, 2005)

FIDGETY (July 23, 2005)

THE END OF THE WEEK IS NIGH (July 22, 2005)

THE MIRACLE WORKERS (July 21, 2005)

STUFFED TO THE GILLS (July 20, 2005)

JAM-PACKED AND FUN-FILLED (July 19, 2005)

LIKE A CHICKEN WITH ITS HEAD CUT OFF (July 18, 2005)

DON’T MOCK ME (July 17, 2005)

THE SHIPPING DEPARTMENT (July 16, 2005)

TODAY IS THE DAY (July 15, 2005)

ALL SHOOK UP (July 14, 2005)

WHIP CRACK AWAY (July 13, 2005)

THE IRONY DEPARTMENT (July 12, 2005)

THE ORGANIZED MAN (July 11, 2005)

THE THICK OF SUMMER (July 10, 2005)

BOWLING WITH SONDHEIM (July 9, 2005)

SLOW DOWN (July 8, 2005)

BANK NOTES (July 7, 2005)

THAT IS CORRECT, TURN THE PAGE (July 6, 2005)

SALLY FORTH (July 5, 2005)

WE’RE TALKIN’ FIREWORKS (July 4, 2005)

I, BOHEMIAN (July 3, 2005)

HORMONES RUN AMOK (July 2, 2005)

NAMELY JULY (July 1, 2005)

A PINCH OF SNUFF (June 30, 2005)

FEELING MY OATS (June 29, 2005)

NOTES BY OSMOSIS (June 28, 2005)

THE RANDY VICAR AND THE FRUIT COMPOTE (June 27, 2005)

FIGHTING THE GOOD FIGHT (June 26, 2005)

FINDING KRITZERLAND (June 25, 2005)

LOVELY GOODIES (June 24, 2005)

DIRE IRE (June 23, 2005)

DISSERTATION ON THE STATE OF NUTMEATS (June 22, 2005)

WRITE LIKE THE WIND (June 21, 2005)

BOCA BURGER (June 20, 2005)

PORTLAND, HERE I COME! (June 19, 2005)

THE DEAR READER’S DIGEST (June 18, 2005)

OLD MAN RIVER (June 17, 2005)

DRIED FRUIT (June 16, 2005)

MY HEAD IS SWIMMING (June 15, 2005)

MARK SPITZ (June 14, 2005)

THE BEAT GOES ON (June 13, 2005)

EXCELSIOR! (June 12, 2005)

ALL THINGS FRUIT (June 11, 2005)

TO BE FRANK (June 10, 2005)

SO IT IS WRITTEN, SO IT SHALL BE DONE (June 9, 2005)

KEMPT (June 8, 2005)

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO (June 7, 2005)

SPEAKING VOLUMES (June 6, 2005)

AND THE WINNER FOR THIS YEAR’S TONY IS… (June 5, 2005)

I RAISE (June 4, 2005)

THE WHIRLING DERVISH (June 3, 2005)

FROTHY BON MOTS (June 2, 2005)

WELCOMING JUNE WITH OPEN ARMS (June 1, 2005)

THE LAST MAY DAY (May 31, 2005)

A BLACK FROCK COAT PLAYING A TUBA (May 30, 2005)

ALL OF A SUDDENT MY HEART SINGS (May 29, 2005)

IN OTHER WORDS, DARLING KISS ME (May 28, 2005)

JUMPING THE GUN (May 27, 2005)

TOAST OF THE TOWN (May 26, 2005)

BACK IN THE SADDLE (May 25, 2005)

AFTER THE BALL (May 24, 2005)

SWEDISH FISH (May 23, 2005)

OPENING NIGHT (May 22, 2005)

START SPREADIN’ THE NEWS (May 21, 2005)

READY TO GO (May 20, 2005)

REVEALING THINGS (May 19, 2005)

A HODGE-PODGE OF VARIOUS AND SUNDRIED THOUGHTS (May 18, 2005)

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT (May 17, 2005)

YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND TOMORROW (May 16, 2005)

CONDIMENTS AND GARNISHES (May 15, 2005)

BLUE SKIES SMILIN’ AT ME (May 14, 2005)

WHAT A STRANGE DAY WAS YESTERDAY (May 13, 2005)

THE NEW DICTUM (May 12, 2005)

FRESH AS A DAISY (May 11, 2005)

THE SPLITTING HEADACHE (May 10, 2005)

MIXMASTER (May 9, 2005)

A DAY FOR ALL YOU MOTHERS (May 8, 2005)

SUCCINCT AND BRIEF (May 7, 2005)

THE FASHION PLATE (May 6, 2005)

IT WAS THIRTY YEARS AGO TODAY (May 5, 2005)

THE SECOND SESSION (May 4, 2005)

BAG O’ STUFF (May 3, 2005)

NEW GUY IN TOWN (May 2, 2005)

THE LUSTY MONTH OF MAY (May 1, 2005)

COUNTDOWN TO GUY HAINES (April 30, 2005)

I BELIEVE-UH IN MIRACLESSSSS (April 29, 2005)

PROFOUNDLY PROFOUND (April 28, 2005)

WHERE ELSE ON ALL THE INTERNET? (April 27, 2005)

NO NODES IS GOOD NODES (April 26, 2005)

THE PASSOVER PLOTZ (April 25, 2005)

FATTY BITS (April 24, 2005)

COIF THE DO (April 23, 2005)

SMELLING THE COOFIE (April 22, 2005)

I’VE SAID IT AND I’M GLAD (April 21, 2005)

A FISTFUL OF NOTES (April 20, 2005)

NEED TO BE KNEADED (April 19, 2005)

FIGHTING VAINLY THE OLD ENNUI (April 18, 2005)

I.E. (April 17, 2005)

THE BLOOMIN’ GOR BLIMEY NOTES (April 16, 2005)

IF YOU GET MY DRIFT (April 15, 2005)

THE WEE BONNIE NOTES (April 14, 2005)

THE CLEWS AND NOTHING BUT THE CLEWS (April 13, 2005)

FORGETTING MY DICTUM (April 12, 2005)

THE DANCE CARD (April 11, 2005)

THE ESTATE SALE (April 10, 2005)

GOING OFF ON A TANGENT IN A PICKLE (April 9, 2005)

THIS WAS THE WEEK THAT WAS (April 8, 2005)

THE WEEK CONTINUES (April 7, 2005)

GINSU KNIVES AND CHIA PETS (April 6, 2005)

OUT ON A LIMB (April 5, 2005)

MELON BALLS (April 4, 2005)

TIME WARP (April 3, 2005)

THE ABOUT-TO-BE BEAUTIFUL SATURDAY (April 2, 2005)

NO NOTES TODAY – OOPS, APRIL FOOL’S! (April 1, 2005)

WALTZING INTO APRIL (March 31, 2005)

HOW NOW, BROWN COW (March 30, 2005)

SOUTHERN FRIED NOTES (March 29, 2005)

PERKY (March 28, 2005)

THE BUNNY HOP (March 27, 2005)

BUNNIES AND EGGS (March 26, 2005)

OF CABBAGES AND KINGS OR TIME FLIES (March 25, 2005)

PULLING TEETH (March 24, 2005)

BREAKING NEWS (March 23, 2005)

SPRING HAS SPRUNG (March 22, 2005)

THE PERPETUAL YAWN (March 21, 2005)

ON THE TOWN (March 20, 2005)

THE CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS (March 19, 2005)

I THINK I’M GONNA LIKE IT HERE (March 18, 2005)

NEW YORK, NEW YORK (March 17, 2005)

TUMI OR NOT TUMI (March 16, 2005)

MILITARY HUMOR (March 15, 2005)

THE FLOOR MEN (March 14, 2005)

UNSEEMLY BUTTOCKS (March 13, 2005)

CUT TO THE CHASE (March 12, 2005)

FINE FETTLE (March 11, 2005)

AND WE WANT TO MARRY YOUR WOMEN (March 10, 2005)

THE BOOK REPORT (March 9, 2005)

THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE CELL PHONE MESSAGE (March 8, 2005)

SPARKLE AND FIZZ (March 7, 2005)

SWEET AND LOWDOWN (March 6, 2005)

I DREAMED I WENT DANCING IN MY MAIDENFORM BRA (March 5, 2005)

CRAOD AND MINGOO (March 4, 2005)

MAN ON A MISSION (March 3, 2005)

THE CASE OF THE DISAPPEARING DAYS (March 2, 2005)

MARCHMALLOWS (March 1, 2005)

BROKEN RECORDS (February 28, 2005)

THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING OSCAR (February 27, 2005)

THE TITLE OF THE NOTES IS (February 26, 2005)

YOU BET YOUR SWEET PATOOTIE (February 25, 2005)

SEGUE (February 24, 2005)

THE HAINES REPORT (February 23, 2005)

IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL THE FAT LADY SINGS (February 22, 2005)

WE ARE NOT AMUSED (February 21, 2005)

HAYLEY KISSED ME (February 20, 2005)

BREAKING NEWS (February 19, 2005)

SURF’S UP (February 18, 2005)

SUPERGUY (February 17, 2005)

THE ABBVTD NTS (February 16, 2005)

SWEET NOTHINGS (February 15, 2005)

LET ME CALL YOU SWEETHEART (February 14, 2005)

ROMANCE ON THE HIGH C’S (February 13, 2005)

THE RAIN IN SPAIN (February 12, 2005)

LIKE THE WIND (February 11, 2005)

THE READERS DIGEST ABRIDGED TAB NOTES (February 10, 2005)

THE MIDDLE OF THE WEAK (February 9, 2005)

NOTHING TO SAY (February 8, 2005)

YOU’RE A BETTER MAN THAN I AM, GUNGA DIN (February 7, 2005)

SUPER BOWL SUNDAY (February 6, 2005)

PIE DAY (February 5, 2005)

THE AGONY AND THE ECSTASY (February 4, 2005)

WHO KNOWS WHERE THE TIME GOES (February 3, 2005)

I’M IN THE MOOD FOR CAKE (February 2, 2005)

TO BE DETERMINED (February 1, 2005)

Archive for 2005