Well, dear readers, it’s a most unusual day. Yes, Virginia, it’s a most unusual day because today is a day for sweethearts and love and romance and Cupid’s arrows piercing the butt cheeks of all who seek that special someone. It is a day for candy hearts and Be My Valentine cards. It is a day to French kiss and fondle and cavort, not necessarily in that order. It is a day to flit about like a gazelle in underpants. In short, it is Valentine’s Day. And we’re going to celebrate Valentine’s Day all the livelong day and night right here at haineshisway.com. We shall have virtual hugs and kisses here at haineshisway.com. We shall have gooey sentiment here at haineshisway.com. We shall flit about like a gazelle in underpants here at haineshisway.com. So, let me call you sweetheart, and I want each and every one of you to Be My Valentine.
Oh, I’m feeling the love, dear readers. I’m feeling Cupid’s arrows piercing my butt cheeks whilst I flit about like a gazelle in underpants. Is there any more romantic atmosphere on all the Internet than the romantic atmosphere here at haineshisway.com?
Yesterday, I had quite a pleasantly pleasant day – I wrote a few pages, I ate a few ribs and I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. The first motion picture on DVD was entitled Heat, starring Mr. Al Pacino and Mr. Robert De Niro. I’d seen it upon its initial release and didn’t think all that much of it. Seeing it again ten years later, I still don’t think all that much of it. Part of the problem is that Michael Mann just doesn’t know when to stop. The film runs a whopping 173 minutes and it’s just too damn long. Scenes go on forever, with lots of “acting”. The cast is fine – Pacino is always fun to watch, but is particularly over-the-top here. De Niro takes the opposite approach and is very quiet. The transfer is quite nice. There are four featurettes, all of nauseating quality. Mr. Mann should keep his trap shut, because he comes off so pompous and pseudo-intellectual that you just want to brain him. The second film I watched is entitled Electra Glide in Blue, starring Mr. Robert Blake. It’s one of the many quirky films of the early seventies, a time when studios were letting directors get away with whatever they felt like getting away with. I’d never seen the film before, and I actually found it rather standard – nothing out there, really. It just sort of ambles along in its anti-establishment establishment way, until the predictable “shocking” ending. The photography by Conrad Hall looks great. The running time is listed as 113 minutes, but it actually ends at 106 minutes, at which point a song begins to play while the camera does a four minute pull back. At that point the image freezes, but the song continues to play for another two minutes, and then there’s a one minute credit roll after that.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below, because Cupid’s arrows might just be waiting to pierce someone’s butt cheeks in the next section.
Let me call you sweetheart and you be sure to call me sweetheart, too, won’t you? Let’s call everyone sweetheart, even men who drive big trucks, and women who wear thongs. Well, maybe not women who wear thongs. Oh, I’m feeling quite romanticized. I’m feel as if Cupid’s arrows will soon be piercing my butt cheeks. It would be hard to miss them these days, what with all the pizza and pie and donuts and ice cream I’ve been packing away.
If you missed any of this weekend’s fun and frivolity, do check out the notes and the posts so that you will be entirely with it and happening. If you are not with it and happening people will look at you askance, as if you were a gazelle with leprosy.
A Gazelle with Leprosy – that’s the title of my next novel. Speaking of French kissing, where in tarnation has Francois got to? I wish I knew someone who was French so I could do some French kissing of my own.
I was supposed to get together with Mr. Grant Geissman yesterday, but we had to change our meeting to this Thursday, at which point I hope to begin the new Guy Haines album. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
I’m just feeling so damnably romantic right now, and it’s all because of you Valentines here at haineshisway.com. Let me call you sweetheart, dear readers, for you are all my funny valentines.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must go hither and thither and perhaps yon, I must drive about in my motor car, I must pick up packages which will hopefully have arrived, and I must flit about like a gazelle in underpants. Today’s topic of discussion: Tell us your best Valentine’s Day stories – what was the most special thing you did on Valentine’s Day, who was it with, where did you go. Have you ever surprised someone on Valentine’s Day with something truly special. Spill the beans, sear readers, and also dear readers. Let’s have loads of lovely posts, shall we, you dear, dear people out there in the dark. Let me call you sweetheart, for you are all the sweetest hearts I know.