Well, dear readers, I shall have to write these here notes in a trice, for she of the Evil Eye will be here shortly and I shall be banished from the home environment for a few hours. I shall drive about in my motor car, run some errands, and do a bit of shopping. Speaking of shopping, yesterday was a lovely day in the City of Studio. I decided to take one more read-through of the book, just to make sure I’m happy with all my little corrections and fixes. So, I started that, then had luncheon with Miss Tammy Minoff and dinnereon with Miss Juliana A. Hansen. I’m happy to say that all the Guy Haines duet partners are chosen and I’m very excited to work with all of them – they are, in alphabetical order, the lovely and wonderful Miss Kerry Butler, our very own Miss Juliana A. Hansen, and Miss Jessica Rush, who is new to me, but who I found captivating in the less-than-captivating LA revival of Paint Your Wagon. I really love all three of the duet songs, so they should be ever so much fun to record. We’ll be doing Miss Butler’s duet in the York of New, so I get an excuse to go back to the city that never sleeps come early May. Isn’t that exciting? Isn’t that just too too?
Last night I watched two count them two motion pictures on DVD. The first motion picture on DVD was entitled Man of the West, starring Mr. Gary Cooper, Miss Julie London, and Mr. Lee J. Cobb, along with the always-great Mr. Arthur O’Connell. The director is Anthony Mann, of whom I’m a big fan. While I find the whole of Man of the West not quite as satisfying as other Mann made movies, it’s still beautifully directed and quite powerful at times. At this stage of his career, Lee J. Cobb was delivering a full canned ham in his performances, and he’s the biggest problem with the film – he’s just literally climbing all over the scenery, and chewing it up and spitting it out, whilst Mr. Gary Cooper just silently and wonderfully does his thing. The photography is gorgeous, and there is a nice musical score by Leigh Harline. It’s a region 2 release – the transfer, which is off a print, could be better, but it’s got rich colors and it’s reasonably sharp. I then watched a motion picture on DVD entitled Lady in a Cage. I’ve heard about it for years but had never managed to catch up with it. Well, I’ve caught up with it. Boy, have I caught up with it. I would have to instantly rank the film as one of the worst ever made, and elevate it to high camp status. It is mind-bogglingly bad. First of all, the film takes place on a residential street. There is more traffic on this street than there is on the 405 at rush hour. Constant, and, if you pay attention, always the same cars going back and forth. Apparently it’s a popular block for people who like to drive up and down the same street for eight hours in a row. Of course, despite poor Olivia de Havilland ringing her emergency bell or crawling out of her house screaming bloody murder, no one ever hears her or stops their car to look. Until, that is, Mr. James Caan suffers his demise. Then, suddenly, every car stops and one hundred extras are suddenly on the scene. Where were they twenty seconds before? But why dwell on just that one scene. Every scene is a classic – from Olivia’s mama’s boy son who wants to get away from his mother’s “love” (one of the young punks even comes out and says the word “gay” in reference to him, if I remember correctly – shocking), to Olivia in the cage of the title, screaming and sweating and giving it her all. I especially liked when she stabbed James Caan in the eyeballs. The fact that Caan worked after this film is the most amazing thing of all. Clad in tight jeans, without a shirt for a good deal of the action, and with one of the worst hairpieces I’ve ever seen, he’s just wacky as can be. He is “introduced” in this, his first film. The other “introducee” is Miss Jennifer Billingsly, who is not so hot, even when smoking marijuana. Jeff Corey is so over-the-top he makes Lee J. Cobb look like Gary Cooper. The only one in the film who really fares okay is the great Miss Ann Southern. Rafael Campos as the third hood acts as if he’s on speedballs the entire time. The film is horribly directed by Mr. Walter Grauman. It’s written by Mr. Luther Davis, who I believe wrote the book to the musical Grand Hotel. Unless there are two Luther Davises. The musical score shrieks away – very avant garde and atonal, by Paul Glass, who did a much better job the same year with Bunny Lake is Missing.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because we’ve got to talk about bunnies and eggs.
Yes, we must all get in our bunny slippers and begin painting our gaily-colored hard-boiled eggs, for tomorrow is Easter. Can you believe it? I always thought Easter was in April but, like the Academy Awards, it seems to have moved up. Oh, what fun we shall have on Easter Sunday. I shall hide gaily-colored Easter eggs and bunnies all over haineshisway.com and you all shall have to find them. We will have marshmallows and chocolates and rabbit stew. Be there or be round.
Speaking of round, we shall have our first live chat in ages on Monday at five p.m. Pacific Mean Time, eight Eastern Time. Since we have quite a few new people, our live chats are most amusing and wild and raucous and filled with merriment and mirth and laughter and legs. You simply go to our home page or the discussion board page and click on “Chat” and you will be whisked away to another page where you simply enter a username, click, and you’ll find yourself in chatland. Be there or be round.
Bunnies and eggs and don’t you forget it. I am in the Easter spirit, I tell you.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must travel about in my motor car, I must go to various and sundried stores, I must come home and continue the reading of the book, and then, at some point, I believe I shall be dining with our very own Miss Barbara Deutsch. Oh, how we shall laugh and laugh, and just when we think we cannot laugh any more, we shall laugh again. That will show them, by gum and by golly and buy bonds. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your favorite Easter memories – those times when Easter was the most special or the most disastrous? Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we, whilst we dream of bunnies and eggs, not necessarily in that order.