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March 6, 2005:

SWEET AND LOWDOWN

Bruce Kimmel Photograph bk's notes

Well, dear readers, it is once again the beginning of a brand spanking new week. I’m hoping it will be a perfectly perfect week, each and every day a gem. One day a diamond, next day a pearl, then I’ll think I’m a lucky girl, I got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night. My week will be filled with writing, fun, and frolic, not necessarily in that order. Yesterday, I had an interesting time at the memorabilia show. I’m afraid the gentleman who hosts it is going to have to do a better job of getting the word out. The show was an embarrassment, attendance-wise. Most of the celebrities sat and twiddled their thumbs, with only the odd passersby. I can’t imagine today will be better, but can imagine it being a lot worse. That said, it was grand seeing Joanie Sommers, Alan Hunt, Donna Baccala and June Wilkinson, all of whom I know. I also enjoyed chatting with Miss Samantha Eggar, who seems a good egg(er). I also met the real Gidget, the girl who was the model for the character, and she was delightful. I bought her book, and she signed it to me and wished me “bitchin’ waves”. I also spoke to Mr. Shelley Berman, who was thrilled to find out that A Family Affair, the Broadway musical in which he starred, was coming out on CD. I bought a CD from him, which he signed for me. His sixties albums were/are brilliant, and a big influence on many comics. Best looking woman there – Beverly Garland, who continues to look astonishing into her seventies. The dealer situation was pathetic – there were really only a couple, plus one person selling jewelry. I briefly met the host of the show – I’d met him once before when he, I believe, assisted on the celebrity show for The Twilight Zone at the Beverly Garland. He’s a completely odd duck. Looks like he’s barely in his mid-twenties, very heavy, and quite strange. After the show (I was there about three hours), I came home and wrote a bit, then ate a bit, then headed over to the Hills of Beverly to see a play.

One of the cast members had invited me (an alumnus of LACC), saying that everyone felt the play needed help, and maybe I could offer some advice. I have no idea if this was just him saying it, or if he’d talked to the playwright or what. The play is about the Fatty Arbuckle scandal and his three trials. It’s a really good subject for a play, but the play is spotty at best and never really finds a way to dramatize the sensational story in a cogent way. It also wants to present the close friendship between Arbuckle and Buster Keaton, but again, the play never finds a way to make that work. We get one scene early on, and then Buster becomes a sort of narrator, which doesn’t work at all right now. He’s inert for a lot of Act One, and even more inert for a lot of Act Two. They have one final scene at the end, but we just don’t care. The play is also not helped by its director, who never finds a style for it. If something like this were to ever work (presuming the author could fix the problems inherent in the play), it would all be dependent on the style established by the director. It’s also one of those weird situations where we get a one-hour first act, and a much longer second act. Certainly there is enough drama in the story that a play on this subject could be dynamic and fascinating and, above all, dramatically compelling. Unfortunately, that play remains buried in a somewhat trite, facile and not-very-involving play in a not-very-involving production. Naturally, this being LA and all, several of our local critics raved. If there is a city with worse theatrical critics I have yet to hear of it. The actors were okay, with no one really standing out, which is sort of fatal when you’ve got characters like Arbuckle and Keaton.

What am I, Ben Brantley all of a sudden? Why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve got things to do, places to go, people to see, not necessarily in that order.

Today I have nothing planned, other than doing a spot of writing. I shall laze about in my lounging pyjamas, my smoking jacket, my spotted dickie, and my bunny slippers. I shall probably watch a DVD or three, and also do a spot of cleaning up. Oh, yes, and at some point in the afternoon, I shall be paying a little visit to Mr. Grant Geissman to hear some tracks he’s been slaving over. I’ll also be giving him a couple more songs.

The clock is ticking away and yet I have not finished these here notes. That’s what happens when one sees long plays. I must say, I’ve been in the mood for something sweet and lowdown – like a nice piece of cake or pie. I may have to succumb, oh, yes, I may have to succumb.

Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must laze about, I must watch a DVD or three, and I must succumb to my craving for something sweet and lowdown. Also, and this is very important, I had a message on my cell phone, a message that could prove to be important, only I can’t tell when it was left. My phone has been very screwy, and sometimes it’s days before it alerts me to new voice mails. I’m praying that the message only came in the last couple of days. Point being, throw a few of our potent vibes and xylophones this way, please. I do hate to be enigmatic but I can say no more, oh, no, I can say no more at this time. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s free-for-all day, the day in which you dear readers get to make with the topics and we all get to make with the snappy posts. So, let’s have loads of lovely topics and loads of lovely posts, and yes, damn it all, let’s all satisfy our various and sundried cravings for something sweet and lowdown.

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