Well, dear readers, I have promised you the tale of The Curious Case of the Cell Phone Message, and have the tale you shall. As I alluded to, on Saturday evening, just before entering the theater to see a play, my cell phone alerted me that there were three messages waiting. My cell phone, unfortunately, has been giving me these alerts sometimes days after the messages come in. That, and the fact that I just don’t turn on my cell that often. In any case, there was a message from “George” telling me that he was calling about a drawing for which I’d submitted an entry form for a new BMW. It took me a minute to remember that in December, when buying my new Converse sneakers, I did indeed fill out an entry form for a new BMW at the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square. “George” went on to say that he had great news for me and to call him as soon as possible. Well, there I was, on a Saturday night, no way to return the call, and wondering when exactly that message had come in. I knew it couldn’t have been more than a couple of days, but I didn’t know if there was some time limit getting back to him. I was quite excited, needless to say, as I’ve never won anything in my life. I called the number on Sunday morning but got a machine. I left a message. “George” finally got back to me yesterday at noon. Unfortunately, “George” was perpetrating a scam, the usual scam – the drawing for the car is actually not until April 6th, but in the meantime I’ve won another fabulous prize – a cruise or a trip to Vegas, both valued at fourteen hundred bucks. I said, fine, send it to me. But, no, as we all know, that is not how it works. How it works is that you must go to Westlake Village and sit in some fershluganah room with a bunch of ex-EST types badgering you to buy time shares for some fershluganah vacation resort or other. This scam has been going on for decades. I booked a time to go, said goodbye, and tore up the information. When I filled out the little entry form there was nothing about this that I saw, unless it was in tiny print on the back. And even if it was in tiny print on the back, the Sherman Oaks Fashion Square should not allow this type of thing on their premises. In other words, I’m quite certain that everyone who filled out an entry form was contacted about this. It’s highly immoral, if you ask me. In any case, I got all excited for nothing – it just seemed on the up and up when I was at the mall. Class action lawsuit anyone? And that is The Curious Case of the Cell Phone Message.
Last night I watched some excellent programs on DVD entitled Tales of the Unexpected. How this series escaped my attention, I’ll never know, since it’s so up my alley. Most of the tales are by Roald Dahl, a wonderful writer. Mr. Dahl also hosts the series. Well, the tales are delightful – funny, a little sick occasionally, and macabre. I’ve watched most of Volume One (the first box set includes all the episodes from seasons one and two on four DVDs). Three of the stories had been previously filmed for Alfred Hitchcock Presents – Man from the South, Mrs. Bixby and the Colonel’s Coat, and Lamb to the Slaughter. The Hitchcock Presents Man from the South was excellent, and starred Steve McQueen and Peter Lorre. This version stars Michael Ontkean and Jose Ferrer, with Katy Jurado. It, too, was excellent, with Mr. Ferrer turning in one of his best performances. And it’s grand to see Miss Jurado, even in her small, but chilling role. I liked this new Mrs. Bixby better than the Hitchcock one (Hitch directed that show personally). Part of that is because the cast is so wonderful – Julie Harris, Richard Greene, and Michael Hordern. Lamb to the Slaughter is the only real failure I’ve seen in this set so far. And that is only because the two lead actors (Susan George and Brian Blessed) are allowed to play to the rafters. For Lamb to the Slaughter you simply can’t beat the Hitchcock version (also personally directed by Hitch), starring Barbara Bel Geddes. The rest of the stories are terrific – and include such great actors as John Gielgud (absolutely hilarious as a pre-Arthur butler), Joan Collins, Wendy Hiller, Joseph Cotton, Siobhan McKenna, and others. But the best of the bunch in volume one is William and Mary, a great story, beautifully directed, and with a five-star tour de force performance by Elaine Stritch. Also starring is the wonderful Marius Goring. I shall enjoy the other volumes in this set, and the new season three and four box is being released in a week.
Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button below because I’ve ever so much more to talk about.
I may have some very interesting news to impart by day’s end. We shall see what we shall see. Then again, I may not have some very interesting news to impart by day’s end. We shall see what we shall see.
Yesterday, I spent a lovely few hours with our very own Juliana A. Hansen. We lunched, and then she learned the song she’ll be doing with Mr. Guy Haines. I don’t know what is with me this week, but I have been forgetting to put things in my iCalendar, and I know I have some things booked but cannot remember any of them. Maybe it will all come to me soon. And the New York jaunt is coming up way too quickly – I leave town a week from Thursday and I have so much to do before that it isn’t even funny. Well, it’s a little funny.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must write, I must do some errands, I must try to remember what in tarnation it is that I’ve booked for this week, and I must do various and sundried other tasks. Today’s topic of discussion: It’s wrong casting day here at haineshisway.com. Let’s have the wrongest casting possible for our haineshisway.com revival of Carousel. Let’s have load of lovely postings, shall we, as we continue to ponder The Curious Case of the Cell Phone Message.