Well, dear readers, what a lovely, relaxing weekend it is. Oh, I had one little moment where I had to be tough with someone (and I do mean tough), and I think even he was shocked by what he was hearing, but he deserved it and I hope it shook some sense into him. I will know if it did at ten o’clock tomorrow morning. Other than that, yesterday was a fine and fancy-free day. I got up a little before nine, puttered around the house, then did some banking, gassed up ye olde motor car, then went off to the Ray Bradbury signing. However, the bookstore was way too crowded for a claustrophobe like myself, so I got out of there pretty quickly, but not before picking up a first edition of Nightmare Alley, and some recent back issues of Firsts magazine. I then met up with Miss Tammy Minoff for a lunch meeting. And then I toddled back to the home environment, wrote the first page of a new short story (which I’m already having a blast doing), and then sat down in front of ye olde television to watch a passel of DVDs.
The first DVD I watched was entitled Team America: World Police. I’d been warned that I would not like it, but I’m afraid that the warning was not quite correct. I didn’t not like it, I loathed it with every fiber of my being. I’m supposing it was meant to be a comedy, but it is one of the most grossly (with an emphasis on the gross) unfunny movies in history. The few times I’ve watched South Park I’ve enjoyed it. But there is nothing enjoyable about Team America. It’s one unfunny gag after another (oh, there are a couple of things that made me crack a smile, but only a couple), and one tasteless sequence after another, as if being tasteless somehow equated itself with yocks. It doesn’t. This movie was a huge bomb at the box-office, which, I think, surprised those who made it, who cockily thought they had a blockbuster. I think there are several reasons for its failure at the box-office, other than its being completely inept as a comedy. First off, they are spoofing a very specific show, Thunderbirds Are Go. However, most of the youth of today has no clew as to what that show is, so they are left with a movie starring puppets on strings with no context. That conceit is amusing for about ten seconds. The film looks good, and that’s about it. I know Mr. Parker was influenced by my little film, The First Nudie Musical – I know this because he stole several of its gags wholesale for his film Orgazmo. I know this because of his dirty songs. But, he doesn’t understand what Nudie Musical is in the least. Yes, at the time we were as outrageous as you could get – but it was never gross, never offensive in a real offensive way – it was all simply funny. Out there? Yes. But funny. Here we have a five-minute barfing scene that just tries to wear you down into laughing by going on and on and on and on. It’s not funny when it begins, and it’s not funny by the time it ends. And what can I say about the sex scene? The “idea” is mildly amusing, but, again, after ten seconds the gag is over, yet the scene goes on for about three minutes. In the “unrated” DVD we really get to see just where Mr. Parker and Mr. Stone’s true personalities lie – when, in a rather mind-boggling moment the two characters in the sex scene perform, how shall I put it, bathroom chores (both kinds) on each other. That’s hilarity, folks. On the commentary track, they say they put it in just so the MPAA could make them cut it. Me no believe. If that was so, why reinstate it for the DVD? If they don’t understand what’s wrong with that scene, then they should get out of the business now. And the endless parade of gay jokes becomes really tiresome, but then, the film is produced by the gay mafia that seems to be running Hollywood and the networks these days. You’d think they’d not want to just keep doing these horrible stereotypical jokes, but I’m glad they find them amusing, because I certainly don’t. All in all, a complete and utter waste of celluloid. And knowing Mr. Rudin, he’ll be letting them make something else real soon.
To get the foul stench of that “comedy” out of my system, I then watched Mr. David Cronenberg’s Dead Ringers, a new transfer from Warner Bros. This film was a box-office disaster, too, and the critics pretty much dismissed it as well. Not me. I knew it was great then and it’s still great now. No, it’s not always easy to watch, and it’s profoundly disturbing at times, but Mr. Cronenberg’s direction is great, as is the production design, wardrobe, music (Howard Shore), and camerawork. And one can’t say enough about the performance of Jeremy Irons as Beverly and Elliot Mantle, the twin gynecologists. The transfer, while not perfect, is yards better than the Criterion or Anchor Bay DVDs. And, as an extra, there is a hospital psychological profiler exam you can take, that is worth the price of the DVD. Whoever did it, kudos – it’s very funny. The film is not for everyone, but for those who like good films that are just a little different, I recommend it.
I then watched The Cincinnati Kid, starring Mr. Steve McQueen, Mr. Edward G. Robinson, Miss Tuesday Weld, Miss Ann-Margret, Mr. Rip Torn, Miss Joan Blondell, and a host of fine character actors. You just can’t beat a cast like that. That, coupled with a great script by Terry Southern and Ring Lardner, Jr. and fine direction by Norman Jewison, and you’ve got nothing but a royal flush. And I cannot speak highly enough about Lalo Schifrin’s score – in the days when you could actually write an interesting idiosyncratic score. A movie I never tire of. The transfer is lovely.
What am I, Ebert and Roeper all of a suddent? Has anyone noticed that I just typed “suddent” instead of “sudden”? What am I, crazy all of a suddent? Well, why don’t we all click on the Unseemly Button all of a suddent, because there is more to talk about in the next section.
We’ve had a few correct guesses in our Unseemly Trivia contest, so, if you haven’t e-mailed your guesses, do so before midnight on Monday.
Don’t forget, Donald should have a brand spanking new radio show up for your listening pleasure at some point today.
All of a suddent my heart sings. And don’t forget, Suddently, starring Frank Sinatra.
Tomorrow, since it is a holiday, I’m hoping to only work for four or five hours with Vinnie, so I can still have some time to relax and play all the livelong day. Today, I have nothing whatsoever planned, other than watching DVDs, and maybe visiting a nearby bookstore.
Well, dear readers, I must take the day, I must do the things I do, I must, for example, make a big ol’ batch o’ my famous Tuna Pasta Salad, for that is what I feel like eating today. I must continue on with my new short story, I must drive about in my motor car, and perhaps I shall take a nice long walk. Today’s topic of discussion: What are your all-time favorite Harold Arlen songs? I’ll start – One for My Baby, The Man That Got Away, Don’t Like Goodbyes, A Sleepin’ Bee, and Over the Rainbow (and many others, but I leave them to you). Let’s have loads of lovely postings, shall we?